


Take Cover

by shum_one_write



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Powerful Magnus Bane, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Magnus Bane, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, they just need to warm up to each other is all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-03-30 15:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 58,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13954731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shum_one_write/pseuds/shum_one_write
Summary: Magnus Bane was the High Warlock of Brooklyn and he was powerful. He was a leader to his people and influencer to everyone else. Magnus had always known his limits, had always been able to pull exactly what he wanted from his magic when he needed it. He could decimate whole cities to the ground and blow away its ashes without so much as a flick of the wrist. So he could see why Valentine would target him.When something leaves Magnus' magic going haywire and only getting worse he's forced to do the one thing he swore he'd never do. Go to the Institute for help.





	1. Chapter One - Something Has Gone Awry

Magnus' P.O.V

To say Magnus was beat would be an understatement. He hadn't felt this drained for the longest time but with Valentine's recent resurgence Magnus had never been busier. Clients and the needs of the New York Institute had reached an all-time high. Today alone he'd been scheduled with thirteen different client calls, none of which has been easy. And now? Now he was fighting for his life against five, well, the remaining three, Circle members and if it had been a fair match, if he wasn't so drained, he would barely have batted an eyelash at the attempt to stab him with a seraph blade that was coming right for him. But he was outnumbered and he was drained so he wasn't as confident as he should have been.

Magnus hissed as the seraph blade grazed his arm, turning too slowly to completely miss it. No matter. The offending Circle member was struck by the bright burst of his magic as he retaliated, falling into another directly behind him, and Magnus turned immediately to do the same to the Circle member behind him. His magic did send out the attack but it was noticeably weaker than the last, not so much blasting the Circle member as much as it gave him a rather nasty shock. Still, his attacker dropped his seraph blade in shock and instead of immediately picking it back up did the equivalent of a supervillain monologue and smirked darkly at Magnus, sneering,

"Seems we've found your limit, Warlock."

When all Magnus could do was smirk back the Circle member's eyes seemed to flicker with uncertainty and remembering his fallen seraph blade made to pick it back up, but even while depleted of most of his strength, Magnus was faster. His magic reaching out to bring the blade to his hands, the circle member's surprise only holding for a second before pure unadulterated shock and fear erupted over his face as Magus grinned and the blade turned red in his hands.

"I like to think I've still got a few more tricks up my sleeve," Magnus replied smugly and made to slash at the circle member's throat but just as he was within reach he felt a sharp pain in his side and staggers to see the previously fallen third circle member standing behind him, having stabbed a syringe into his back.

Magnus stumbles back to yank at the syringe and pull it from his skin. Staring at the offending item, smeared in his own blood and dropping it to the ground before looking back to the two remaining circle members. Neither had made moves to finish him in his disorientation, both just standing and staring, chests heaving as if waiting for something else to happen. When they both realise nothing is their gaze flickers back to the red glowing seraph blade in his hand, and Magnus looks to it too. But now Magnus just wants to get out of here and blades are too slow, too messy, too time-consuming. Magnus is dangerously low on his stores of magic, he's all too aware of that. But he still has some left, enough left.

He pulls at his remaining magic and forces it out and into the circle members. Sending them flying into the walls behind them, cracking the foundations, and definitely a view bones.

Magnus' knees begin to buckle almost immediately and as he begins to take a shaky step forward, falling into a wall for support. He doesn't dare to summon a portal and he doesn't even know if he killed the circle members strewn around him. He manages to pull his phone from his pocket and hastily hit the number two before his strength fails him and he falls to the floor.

***

"You're an idiot you know that?" Magnus groans as he enters his kitchen to see Raphael scowling at him over the cup of coffee he's pouring.

"What did I do now?" He replies, wincing slightly as he slides onto the bar stool to reach for the coffee Raphael hands to him, still scowling.

"You shouldn't let yourself get drained like that."

"Well, it's safe to assume I did just exactly that," Magnus retorts with another grimace as he shifts on the stool.

"Well don't," Raphael bites back.

"I'm the High Warlock of Brooklyn Raphael," Magnus snaps defensively, "And Valentine is back and my people need me, none of those clients yesterday were trivial. They were all of the utmost importance."

"I'm not saying you don't do your jobs, I'm saying you spread them out a bit more because like you said, Valentine is back and you're much better alive than dead," Raphael says with a glare, his voice annoyingly passive. Raphael hardly ever raises his voice, and it's infuriating, "I called Cat as well. She'll be coming over later to make sure your magic is restored and your wounds are healed."

"Thank you," Magnus says shortly and follows Raphael to his door, still scowling, but stops just as he is about to leave and continues, relenting his anger, "I mean it, Raphael."

For the first time he smiles, or as close as Raphael can ever come to a smile, "I know," he says smugly before it morphs into a pleased smirk and adds, "Oh and by the way, when Cat calls... be nice. She has some questions about why I'm higher on your speed-dial than she is."

***

After eating and taking a rather unexpectedly extensive nap Magnus had to say he was feeling significantly better. Which is why, when he woke up smothered in darkness and flicked his wrist to turn on the lights in his apartment and instead they all exploded he was a little startled to say the least. He didn't have long to panic over it though as almost as soon as he woke up his phone screen lit up and Cat's name flashed on the screen. This time he was more cautious with how he waved his hand over his phone and let out a sigh of relief as his magic responded calmly and Cat's voice filled his room from the loudspeaker.

"So you're alive?" Came the voice from his phone and Magnus rolled his eyes involuntarily, grinning all the same as he flicked a wrist to open his blinds halfway.

"Yes yes, why does everyone fuss over me?"

"Because you let yourself get burnt out and then get ambushed by Valentine," Cat deadpans through the phone and Magnus sighs, picking up the phone and stretching his back, hearing the pops of his bones and doing his best to both ignore the twinge of pain at his lower back and keep his discomfort from infiltrating his voice as he replied, 

"I wasn't ambushed by Valentine... just a few of his henchmen," He shrugs, trying for nonchalance and by Cat's scoff he's sure he's fooling no one.

"You're ridiculous and I'm coming over."

Magnus was all ready to reply and insist that wouldn't be necessary before she abruptly hung up on him and all he could do was stare at the phone and roll his eyes. Honestly, did no one think he could handle himself? Magic could recharge, stab wounds would heal. 

   He stood and surveyed the glass shards from his lightbulbs scattered across his bedroom floor, the blur of the streetlights now falling through the window hitting them and reflecting iridescent lights across his room. Waving a hand to clear it all away, frowning when nothing happened but relaxing when it worked the second time. He didn't think much of it, his magic was just coming back to him. Brandishing the split second of confusion from his mind he quickly stripped and got in the shower, hissing slightly as the magically instant hot water seared his still healing skin before returning to a bearable temperature.

   Glancing down, he surveyed his wounds. Not that he had many of course. He slowly skimmed his hand, brimming with blue healing magic, over the graze on his upper arm from where the seraph blade had cut him. Normally, his magic would heal himself of surface wounds overnight but when considering his burnt out state he wasn't overly surprised that it had been slow to work. When his hand drew away the cut was gone, closed over into a pale white scar. Normally, his magic would erase all memory of a wound, leaving his skin spotless. But with certain things, like angelic seraph blades and demonic dark magic, some marks, no matter how small or faint, would always leave a permanent imprint upon his skin. 

   It surprised people his scars, not that there even were many of them. The one night stands who, upon removing his clothes, stuttered their movements and wandering hands at the sight of them. Continuing the night without comment. But Magnus found actions always spoke louder than words and Magnus always noticed how, while their hands did still roam, they never even skimmed over the marks marring his body. Magnus didn't mind per se, he didn't mind his scars, but for once, just once, he would like for someone to touch him. All of him. 

   When he finally moved to look over his second wound, the puncture wound from the syringe, and smother it with his magic he expected it to heal in just the same way as the first. Instead, he was met with an agonising stab that actually made him call out in pain, something that would go unheard in his empty apartment. The pain seemed to travel throughout his entire body, shuddering along his spine and dizzying his head. No sooner had his magic touched his wound was he snatching it away again. Leaning a hand against the tiled wall and urging himself to remain upright, blinking the water from his eyes he looked on in continued pain and bewilderment at his body. 

   Stepping out of the shower he avoided that area of his body altogether as he dried himself and stepping into new clothes just as his front door opened and he knew exactly who it was.

   He immediately left the bathroom to turn the corner to the living room to see Cat standing, still in her scrubs, hands on her hips and staring expectantly. Magnus raised his hands, calling for patience, "First thing you need to know, there's no cause to panic. But...," Magnus watched as Cat raised an unimpressed eyebrow, "I may have one concern, but don't fuss. I've had enough of that from Raphael for one day. I do, however, appear to need some help."

"With finding a hair dryer?" Cat deadpanned, tilting her head and raising her eyebrow ever higher at his still soaking hair.

"Oh," Magnus said, finally taking notice of his hair, "I'd just gotten out of the shower." He offered as an offhanded explanation before waving up a hand brewing with magic to dry his hair but only finding it falling back down still mildly damp. "Hm," He murmured in displeasure, the sooner he was back up to scratch the better and he waved his hand back up again. His hair wasn't perfectly styled as he had hoped it would be but it was dry and that was something at least.

   He looked back to Cat to find her studying him now in a way she's hadn't before. Clinically. 

"What did I say about not fussing? Cat, you haven't even seen my wound yet and you're already assessing me," He chided, trying to lighten the mood. Clinical Cat always made him feel uncomfortable: scrutinised and on show, in ways he did not volunteer to be.

"That remains to be seen," She remarked simply, all professional and every bit the nurse she was, "Come on shirt up."

"So formal," Magnus joked again but lifted his shirt up all the same, with Cat immediately magicking on gloves and pressing around his skin, not quite touching where the syringe entered his body.

"Give a good reason for why I've been relegated to below Raphael on your speed dial and maybe I won't push too badly on your bruises," She returned, still stern, always stern when she was being a medic, but she was lighter.

"It's nothing personal dear, but you know Raphael has a better reply rate than you," Magnus explained plainly and watched as the corners of Cat's mouth lilted up into a smirk as she pressed a little harder than necessary around Magnus' wound.

"Raphael doesn't work overnight shifts."

"Exactly," Magnus winced as Cat moved closer to his wound and she paused, hand now hovering from where it had moved and she was watching him closely.

"What colour of liquid was in this syringe?" She asked, back to being a nurse.

"Green," Magnus replied curtly. For some reason, despite the fact her hand was no longer even touching his skin, he was beginning to feel uncomfortable, his skin prickling all around his lower back where the puncture was. Slowly ebbing and spreading across his entire body and he felt the inexplicable urge to move away from her touch.

"Hm," She hummed absentmindedly before she took a deep breath and sparked her purple magic into her hand.

   Even before her hand had touched his skin Magnus was screaming.

   Magnus awoke once again to darkness. His head was screaming and the pain on his lower back wasn't any better. He winced at any movement, the shift of his foot, the turn of his head, the fluttering of his eyelashes as his eyes opened. Cat was sat hunched on the floor next to the sofa he had apparently been laid on. It took him a moment to realise his glamour was dropped and he forced himself to see his surroundings through the darkness. There was a blast of black on the wall nearest the sofa and the bookcase to his left had about seven shelves falling and spilling over with books. A window by the fireplace was smashed and the fireplace itself was blazing although the longer he looked at it, recovering his loss of breath, he watched the flames dim. He was exhausted again, like the past few hours of regaining his magic had done nothing, once again his stores were empty.

"Cat," He whispered, looking for answers, surprised to hear the rasp in his voice as if he hadn't drunk water in a week.

"Shh," She soothed gently, eyes skating over his body before closing the book Magnus didn't know she had in her lap, "Now Magnus, I'm going to need you to stay very calm for me."

Magnus was a second away from asking her why before he found himself already nodding. Watching as Cat held out her hand, a good few inches from where he lay, and lit it up with her magic, illuminating a small area around them. An uneasiness almost simultaneously began to fill Magnus' stomach and he could feel sweat appearing on his forehead. 

   Cat moved slowly, letting Magnus watch her magic as she moved it closer and closer to his body but the second her hand skimmed his chest Magnus was on fire. In that split second, it felt like he was burning up like someone had doused him in petrol and set him alight. His insides felt ready to burst through his skin and his skin felt like it had touched the surface of the sun.

   This time, somehow, Magnus stayed conscious and he was able to feel the pulse of magic shoot out of him. He felt the magic exit his body, like a black hole had opened up right in front him and sucked it out, leaving him empty and hollow. His body arching up from the sofa and slamming back down as if he had been pushed back. The sounds of things cracking and smashing filled his ears and he found himself turning wildly to Cat and finding her forcing protective magic up and around herself. The rapid change in his temperature shocked him. He was freezing and drenched in a cold sweat. 

   When his body settled enough for him to register anything besides the pain he croaked out again, "Cat..." and could only look at her, lowering her shields and staring right back, biting the inside of her cheek before she spoke.

"We need to take you to the Institute."

***

   Magnus hated the New York Institute. Actually, he hated every Institute. They were stiff and grey and all business, a place without any life in it besides its occupants. Yet, he still allowed Cat to drag him there at the ungodly hour of 3 am. 

  They were forced to stand outside the doors until one of their Shadowhunters authorised their entry, so for roughly fifteen or so minutes, to any night owl mundanes driving by they looked like a couple of drunkards just staring up at the doors of a derelict church. 

  Finally a non-descript Shadowhunter, after a while all the grunts begin to look the same, opened the door for them and led their way down the plain hallways with their cracked red brick walls and flickering fluorescent blub lighting until they reached the main office, knocking once, twice, three times on the door and immediately went into a parade rest as they stood waiting and Magnus, despite his current predicament, had to swallow a snort at their formalities.

  The door opened to reveal the severe face of Maryse Lightwood glaring at him. Magnus had dealt with her before, being High Warlock and her the Head of the Institute they were bound to, although Magnus tried his best to keep their meetings short. She nodded curtly to the Shadowhunter at her door and waited until he had left before motioning for them to enter her office.

   Maryse Lightwood was not an overly pleasant woman. She kept her hair up tight in a bun, highlighting the sharpness of her face and the lines of age Shadowhunters would be lucky to one day have. She held herself tightly as well, stiff and straight-backed, head held high and always making sure she was never looking at someone on an equal ground, she liked the imbalance Magnus thought, she liked the safety the superiority of looking down on her subordinates brought.

  She never offered them a seat and Magnus wasn't going to give her satisfaction of watching him ask if he could. She was staring at him and he knew he looked like a mess. He still the wore the clothes he had on when... whatever happened, happened. His hair was matted back with sweat, which was still beaded along his forehead. He'd tucked his silk black shirt into his rather too tight trousers considering how uncomfortable he was right now, but Magnus had insistently refused to not change. For one, he would have required Cat's help and he's not quite ready to admit just how weak he is right now. Two, he suspected he would have a lot harder time convincing the Shadowhunters of his condition if he looked as good as he normally did. And three, he was just too tired.

"I assume this meeting is important," She began, moving her gaze between them now and skipping over pleasantries entirely and Magnus couldn't tell if he was pleased or not by this.

"Believe me we wouldn't have called if it wasn't," Magnus smiled bitterly, his eyes flashing dangerously and he refused to hold back the contempt lacing his words.

"I believe it to be an urgent matter that impacts both of our communities," Cat answered as if Magnus had never spoken, meeting Maryse's eyes straight-on, back straight and voice firm and Magnus smiled. Cat always did have a knack for demanding the same respect that was expected from her.

Maryse Lightwood obviously had never encountered this before and paused, watching Cat closely with a scrutinising eye, "Catarina Loss, yes?"

"Yes," Cat replied simply and Maryse nodded and spoke again as if she viewed it as giving in,

"Very well, explain things to me, Miss Loss."

Before Cat could even open her mouth there was a knock on the door again, but unlike the Shadowhunter who brought them here, this one didn't wait for the door to open for them. The door opened and in stepped, quite possibly, the most attractive Shadowhunter Magnus had ever met. 

   He was tall. God was he tall. Pale skin, with a dark rune Magnus couldn't make out from where he stood that stretched along his neck in a way that wasn't quite fair. Eyes that, tragically, from this distance, he couldn't quite make out the exact shade but from where Magnus stood on the other side of the room, Magnus was sure they were gorgeous. He wore the usual Shadowhunter apparel that for the life of him Magnus couldn't quite find fault with, not when it was on someone like this, even with the demon ichor that Magnus saw still stuck to his shoes. 

   He obviously hadn't expected an audience because catching sight of Magnus and Cat his mouth shut tight and a light tinge seemed to paint his high cheekbones.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware you had a meeting," He apologised, voice deep and steady, formal and like a soldier. Magnus didn't know what he had expected, he was still a Shadowhunter after all.

"What is it, Alexander?" Maryse asked, irritation painted across her face as she sought a glance at were Cat and Magnus still stood.

"You wanted the reports from the patrol," The Shadowhunter, Alexander, replied in the same even tone, handing over the report to Maryse's already waiting hand.

"Thank you," She clipped and looked ready to dismiss him before her eyes once again flew over Cat and Magnus and she pursed her lips a little before adding, "Actually, it might be better if you stayed in for this."

She was trying to even the playing field, even a fool could see that.

"I don't know if that's appropriate given what we have to say, we would prefer it be kept private for now," Cat stated, eyeing Alexander suspiciously.

"Given that Alexander is the Acting Head of this Institute in my absence I think he has the clearance to know what is going on," Maryse countered, looking pleased with herself despite her continued air of professionalism, while Alexander's eyes squinted from Maryse to Cat, until they fell on Magnus and held there for a second longer than the rest, probably taking in his rather haphazard appearance and, not one to be judged passively, Magnus raised an eyebrow at him and watched as he quickly removed his gaze and turned back to Maryse with a clench in his jaw.

"Very well," Cat consented, still watching Alec before looking to Maryse, "How do I know he can be trusted?"

"He's my son," Maryse answered plainly and Magnus had to hold back a groan, of course he was. 

Cat didn't appear to react at all at this news, merely nodding before turning to Magnus, checking he was okay with this, before back to Maryse, beginning simply, "Valentine Morgenstern sent out an attack for Magnus yesterday evening. Magnus was able to fend off the attack until the point of exhaustion, but in the process of doing so was injected with some sort of serum. I was unable to identify. Since then, Magnus has sustained a puncture wound that cannot be healed by magic and his magic itself...," Magnus could see her hesitate, the second of silence jarring compared to her previous professionalism, "Is acting out."

Still, Cat was never one to beat around the bush and once again Magnus could tell Maryse was unused to this degree of frankness from fellow Shadowhunters nevermind Downworlders. 

"And you're sure this was the work of Valentine?" She inquired almost lightly and Magnus felt mocked.

"Well the Circle runes burnt onto their necks did seem like a telling sign," Magnus deadpanned. His input seemed to remind Maryse that he was in fact here, and aware of everything that was being said. Her lips pursed again and she spoke, cold and detached, 

"I suppose we'll just have to take your word on this then."

"Yes," Magnus said shortly, "You do."

"What do you mean exactly by 'acting out'?" It wasn't Maryse who was asking, but Alexander. Her son, Magnus reminded himself. 

Cat replied for him, Magnus wasn't even sure if he could, he was too surprised by Alexander's addition. Something that had surprised his mother too, her lips pursing even further until Magnus thought they looked oddly like prunes.

"It's not reacting in the ways it should when he calls on it. It doesn't work in the way he wants it too or it takes two or three tries to make it work," Cat explains.

"Could that not just be a side effect of his, as you say, exhaustion of magic?" Maryse voices, an eyebrow raised and Magnus really hates coming to the Institute, if he wanted to be mocked he would have phoned Ragnor, at least then he would have known it was lighthearted.

"No," Magnus said firmly and spoke no more, glaring at Maryse and allowing Cat to continue,

"When he attempted to heal the wound himself it burned and then when I attempted the same... well his magic reacted."

"Reacted?" Alexander was asking and if it wasn't for their obviously shared DNA in appearance Magnus would have had serious issues in seeing how he was Maryse's son. His arms were folded across his chest, a closed off soldier. He kept his feet planted firmly in the parade rest the entire time he stood behind his mother's chair, in obvious deference to her authority, just like every other dutiful Shadowhunter. But his brow was furrowed, Magnus noted the scratch that cut straight through his right eyebrow. He sounded like he gave a shit. And that was new.

"It was like it was forced out from his body, to defend or to attack I'm not sure. Maybe both. His body wasn't physically harmed but he becomes drained all over and his usual symptoms are elevated. The force of it does, however, harm everything else. I had to put up protective spells to spare myself the second time."

"And the first?" Alexander asked at the exact same time Magnus thought it.

"Like being hit by a car," She replied simply, like it didn't matter, like Magnus' magic hadn't almost killed her, like _Magnus_ hadn't almost killed her.

   Alexander looked pensive, leaning back a little in contemplation, squinting an eye and quirking an eyebrow. His gaze shot to Magnus for split second but was gone again as soon as Magnus caught it.

"What kind of serum?" He asked.

"I don't know," Cat answered honestly.

   With that, the room fell silent. Alexander stared intensely into seemingly nothing before turning his gaze to his mother, waiting. Maryse stared, had been staring the entire time, at Magnus. Quiet and serious, tapping a finger against her chin, before she straightened and addressed them both,

"Well, this is, of course, distressing," She didn't sound overly distressed, "Our High Warlock unable to control his magic and lashing out at other warlocks at the mere threat of their magic." Magnus' jaw clenched and Cat's back straightened, "What do you propose we do about it?"

"We imagined you would have some idea about that yourself," Cat contended.

It was Alexander who spoke next, careful and cautious sounding as he switched his glance from his mother to Magnus, to Catarina.

"He's going to have to be checked over by our medics."

"Understandable," Cat nodded when Magnus felt like doing the exact opposite. 

"And then, until we figure out either how to fix this, or what Valentine did to him... he's going to have to be monitored."

"Excuse me?" Magnus asked incredulously, suppressing a wince at his movement.

"What kind of monitoring," Cat said instead, not altogether ignoring Magnus but not reacting with the same indignance he was hoping for.

"Overnight for the medical checkup. After that, he would be free to return to his loft..."

"But?" Magnus asked and drew Alexander's eyes to meet his, "I'm sensing a 'but' here."

As soon as he was no longer required to hold Magnus' gaze they were back to Catarina's, maybe he had, correctly, realised she was the more level-headed of the two, "But he would need daily check-ups on his condition and... if as you say his magic is acting against him. It could be dangerous. To both himself and potentially others. I would suggest having someone be there with him to monitor."

"A Shadowhunter?" Cat asked, as pragmatic as she was Magnus could tell even she thought little of the idea and Magnus was relieved to hear it.

"Not necessarily," Alexander replied, glancing at Magnus and holding his gaze for the first time as he addressed his directly, "Whatever you feel comfortable with."

"Now now, Alexander," Maryse objected, looking ready to take the reins of the conversation that quite frankly, Magnus could see belonged rightfully with her son, "A Shadowhunter would be more fitting if we are to properly aid him."

   She just wanted to keep an eye on him and Magnus knew it. But Alexander's eyes were still on Magnus when he spoke again before eventually sliding to his mother, "In the case of erratic magic shouldn't it be better he be monitored by someone he trusts? It could result in fewer incidents."

Maryse's fingers tightened over the pen she was holding and Magnus noticed how her knuckles turned white as she turned to look at Magnus and said with forced civility, "Who did you have in mind?"

"Cat," He responded easily.

"Actually," Cat replied as if she had just been forced out of a serious revelation, sounding cautious and apologetic in ways he didn't like, "I think it best if you minimise long-term contact with warlocks until we get your reactions to magic under control."

"Raphael then."

"He's the leader of the New York clan, he can't be there often enough to look after you," Cat said. Magnus was beginning to get rather angry at everyone's choice of words. He didn't need 'taken care of' exactly, and being 'monitored' made him feel too much like a science experiment. He was still the High Warlock of Brooklyn, hazy magic aside, he was still capable of keeping himself in check. Probably sensing his turmoil, Cat smiled sadly before turning, ignoring Maryse entirely to go straight to Alexander, "I think a Shadowhunter is our only option."

Magnus had his mouth open ready to object when Cat sent him a stern look. And Maryse took the opportunity to get in the last word, "I'm glad that's settled then. And we already have the perfect candidate to watch over you."

She was smiling and Magnus didn't like it. He was tense all over and he'd been standing too long, having not been invited to take a seat, and he was still precarious in terms of stability after his magic reacted against him. He was swaying, his head was hazy, his fingers digging into his palms, and his breathing coming out more and more heavily.

"Who did you have in mind?" He forced out and Maryse simply looked at her son. Who didn't look at Magnus.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't the fic I was planning on writing but it's the one that happened. So tada!  
> Not exactly a canon divergence but not exactly a fully fledged AU either but I hope you all like it! I'll try to keep within a one to two weeks update routine!
> 
> You can find me at @fangirlbusiness on tumblr!


	2. Chapter Two - All Our Walls Are Up

Magnus' P.O.V

Magnus hated the Institute. 

He'd been escorted to the medical ward of the Institute. Maryse had finished their meeting without much debate, having successfully stunned Magnus into silence, Alexander, of course, in deference to his mother's orders, didn't argue, and Cat seemed strangely okay with Magnus' assigned carer.

Cat had then been quickly ushered out of the Institute all together, which wasn't surprising considering Shadowhunters' tendencies to become paranoid when they play host to one too many Downworlders at a time. Still, Magnus missed her and he loathed to realise that in her absence his skin had finally stopped buzzing all over incessantly and he had regained control over most of his bodily functions, with his body temperature at last evening out.

Alexander had been ordered to take Magnus to the ward and all the way there he stayed quiet, his eyes looking far down the hall ahead of them and not so much as sparing a glance in Magnus' direction. Magnus had hoped on gaining a better impression of his apparent 'guardian' and while Alexander didn't give him much of a chance, he took his stoicism as a plain enough indication of who he was.

Alexander was a soldier. He would take orders and would follow them without question. Which shouldn't be all that shocking considering that he is not only a Shadowhunter but a Lightwood one at that and Magnus knew that family to be staunch traditionalists. With, perhaps, one exception.

   Isabelle Lightwood sauntered into the ward, lab coat on, clipboard in hand, and as gorgeous as ever, with her brother trailing silently behind her. Magnus had been rather surprised at Alexander willingly leaving Magnus, an undoubtedly documented 'reprehensible' warlock in the Institute's archives, sitting alone in a room in the Institute, even if it was only a medical room. 

   Magnus didn't know Isabelle personally but he'd heard her name in passing, heard the rumours and the stories shared in the Hunter's Moon and other Downworlder hot spots. He knew she was rather close with the Seelie Knight Meliorn and the only Shadowhunter he accepted negotiations with. He knew she was close with the members of the New York pack, although perhaps that was down to her friendship with Clary Fray (another Shadowhunter he didn't _hate,_ they just moved in different circles). And he knew she was also close to the latest fledging under Raphael's wing, Simon Lewis. Despite never meeting her in the flesh Magnus was already certain they would get along. She seemed sympathetic, open, engaging, a bit of a genius, and strikingly beautiful. Besides, she'd already made friends with every other Downworlder group, perhaps he would give her the matching set. 

"Magnus Bane," Isabelle smiled warmly as she walked over, hand already out to shake Magnus' hand and he took it easily, smiling in equal return and her smile turned into an almost devious grin and she whispered as if they had been friends forever, "I've heard so many stories."

"None of them true I'd bet," Magnus countered, still smiling and Isabelle's smile widened.

"You doubt my sources?" She smirks all coy and fake innocence.

"The only truly reliable source is the one sitting right in front of you," He winked and she laughed, bright and easy and moved to speak again when a gruff voice cut in,

"Izzy," It was Alexander, his arms were firmly crossed in front of his chest and he was glaring at his sister. 

    Magnus glanced between the two siblings. Alexander, stiff and closed up, glaring at his sister with raised expectant eyebrows and Isabelle, exasperated and dare Magnus say it? A little amused? And definitely fond. Magnus wondered how they were related. Besides the fact that they could be twins if not for the age difference. Magnus had heard stories of the eldest Lightwood as well. _"He's going to be running that Institute someday." "Heard he's the most desirable match in Idris." "You hear about that mission the Lightwood boy led last week?"_. The stories didn't exactly paint a picture of a friendly open-minded Shadowhunter, just your typical by-the-by, run of the mill, standard Shadowhunter. Ambitious and talented...  _"Going places"_ Luke Garroway of the New York wolf pack had once said to many an eye roll and scoffs from the surrounding Downworlders besides, perhaps, one other werewolf, and one young vampire.

Isabelle rolled her eyes when she turned away from her brother and back to Magnus, "Ignore him. He's not very good with strangers."

"Are we talking about Alec?" A new voice asked and Magnus peered past Isabelle to watch a golden-haired, golden-eyed, golden boy stride in not even looking at Isabelle but grinning wickedly at Alexander who was, once again, glaring (or maybe he never stopped?). 

"Shouldn't you be training," Alexander said sharply and the boy only grinned more and slapped Alexander's back.

"It's sweet that you'd think I need it."

"Ignore them," Isabelle interrupted, smiling at Magnus and looking as if she had just saved her brother from an aneurysm, "That's Jace, the other brother."

"The better one," Jace smirked.

Magnus raised an eyebrow and Isabelle filled him in, "Adopted. He's also a brand new Herondale which he's definitely not letting get to his head."

"You know me Iz," Jace grinned, "I'm humble like that."

Isabelle rolled her eyes fondly and permanently turned her gaze back to Magnus but spoke back to her brothers, "Alec's right though, I have things to do."

Magnus could have sworn he heard Alexander murmur a small 'thank you' to no one in particular but he couldn't be sure, didn't have the time to think on it because Isabelle was already asking him questions.

"How often do you exhaust yourself of magic?"

"Hardly ever," Magnus answered honestly, and maybe a little smug as Isabelle raised a questioning and then impressed eyebrow at him and marked his response down.

"When was the last time you were drained? Ignoring anything since the attack I mean."

"Six months ago."

"Do you mind me asking how it happened?"

"Yes I do," Magnus answered simply and tried not to react to the three glances shot his way for the briefest of seconds.

"How long does it take you to recover?"

"Fully?"

"Just so you can comfortably use your magic again but not so much you could do anything major."

"Twelve hours."

"And to recover fully?"

"It varies," He answers and she looks at him and he realises he'll have to elaborate, "It depends on how it happened. What I did. How I felt."

She nods pensively, writing all her notes down, then reading them, and maybe rereading them before she looks up at Magnus again and looks apologetic before she says, "Shirt up please."

   Magnus could lie and say he was 100% okay with this, but he wasn't. Isabelle on her own maybe. Alexander at a stretch, he was his 'guardian' after all. But three Shadowhunters he'd just meet in one room? If he was in peak health then he would have no problem whatsoever, might even welcome the opportunity to drive them all wild with desire, but he had a wound that caused him to lash out at whoever touched him and it was caused by a Shadowhunter sure it was a maniacal one, but it was still a Shadowhunter.

"Jace, out," Alexander, as if he had read Magnus' mind, spoke firmly and leaving no room for debate, his voice hard and instructive, giving a clear order. Magnus turned to see Alexander looking at his brother, dropping his arms to firmly push his brother along and back to the door. Isabelle was now the silent one as Jace looked mildly startled at being escorted out by his own brother but, perhaps with one rather incredulous look, he did as he was told without objection. Magnus and Isabelle watched and waited until Alexander had walked back and resumed his, arms crossed, closed off soldier stance and give Magnus a small nod. Isabelle looking oddly proud before she turned back to Magnus and asked again, still patient, "Up."

With one final look to Alexander, who was no longer looking at him but firmly to the white wall opposite, Magnus' hands went to the hem of his shirt and pulled it up. He winced slightly at the sting the movement caused, still sore and strained from all of his exhaustions. Isabelle took the shirt from him and handed it wordlessly to Alec who already had a hand waiting to take it, still not looking.

Isabelle didn't touch him right away. Just stared at him. Scanning over his body before putting on a white pair of gloves, looking up at him to get confirmation to touch and Magnus nodded curtly. Her hands didn't immediately go to the puncture wound. Instead, she found her way to the other scar he had earned that night and ran her thumb across it, eyebrows furrowed as she finds all the other ones, the older ones.

"Are these all from the fight?"

"No, just the first," Magnus replies and she nods slightly, focusing more on his body than his words.

"All seraph blades?"

"No," Magnus corrects, "A few are demonic."

Isabelle hums before removing her hands altogether and making the notes on her clipboard.

"Now, I'm going to touch your puncture wound. I don't know what to expect here but... that's why I've got to do it," She said diplomatically and Magnus nodded again.

Perhaps it was hearing that the wound that was the whole reason he was even here in the first place was finally going to be examined but Alexander finally turned to face them, coming up just behind Isabelle, gaze focusing in on the wound.

Isabelle's hands were cold even through the gloves and Magnus repressed a shiver. She was pressing lightly at the skin just before the actual wound, ebbing in slowly, letting Magnus prepare. When she finally did press in at the wound he hissed and the pressure on his skin paused, she didn't lift it, she just waited. When Magnus appeared to have calmed she kept going, running his fingers around the wound, taking sporadic notes and alternated between biting her pen, holding it, or putting it behind her ear.

Magnus didn't know how long the exam lasted before Isabelle was stepping back, Alexander, however, stayed firmly where he stood, just a few inches from Magnus' right shoulder. 

"What's your diagnosis?" Magnus asked, determined to keep his voice neutral and calm, not like he was really worried, just... curious.

Isabelle smiled lightly before she looked to her clipboard, "I have a theory but I don't want to throw anything out there until I can have something plausible to go on, so that means tests."

"Tests?" Magnus asks and maybe he's not so good at keeping the apprehension out of his voice as he thought because Isabelle smiles again.

"Nothing terrible, like I said I want the basics before I go into anything serious. I just want some blood tests, maybe take a sample of some of the skin around your wound. That sound okay?"

"Only as long as you control the samples," Magnus stated, he didn't want anything he gave going anywhere else. No Clave official would be getting his blood to experiment on.

Isabelle smiled warmly, "Nothing leaves this room, patient-doctor confidentiality and all that." 

Patient, doctor, _and Alexander_ , Magnus thought but he let it slide. He trusted Isabelle's word.

Still, when she broke out the needle and syringe he stiffened and she paused, "Is it the blood or the needle?"

"Let's say both," Magnus said with apprehension as he stared at the syringe that was oh so similar to the one that started this whole thing.

"I promise I'll go easy," Isabelle replied gently. Magnus knew she meant well but that didn't stop him from continuing to tense as she got closer and it didn't stop him from stiffening as she wiped across one of the veins in his arm. It was deathly silent, all he could hear was his own heartbeat ringing in his ears and the sound of a clock ticking somewhere in the background and he nearly jumped when he felt a hand nudge his leg and looked over to find Alexander standing, left hand outstretched and placed in an offering. He watched how he swallowed slightly before he spoke, as low as ever but less gruff as before,

"Tensing your arm will only make it worse."

Magnus only stared and in his periphery, he could sense more than he could see Isabelle pausing, letting Magnus stare at her brother. And Alexander let him stare too, he stared back, and he never moved his hand, just waited for Magnus to decide.

Alexander's eyes were very beautiful. He could see them now. They were hazel. The artificial lights of the Institute did them no favours but somehow they still shone, bright and green enclosed by deep brown. Maybe even with a few flecks of gold. And he did have a scar cutting right across his eyebrow and maybe even a little more above, Magnus wondered how he got it. Alexander was throwing Magnus off a little and he hadn't felt his skin hum in the same content way as it was right now in a long time. It was nothing like the distracting, incessant, unnerving way his skin buzzed after his magic shocked him since the attack. It was gentle, under his skin, like a whole new layer that he had never realised was there before. Magnus cast his eyes away from Alec's and to his hand, still there, waiting. He slid his own in gently. It was one of the few times it was devoid of any rings and his fingers slipped in easily between Alexander's. He turned back to Isabelle, somehow no longer prepared to look at Alexander, and nodded. The second the needle went through his skin he squeezed Alexander's hand and immediately felt his own hand being squeezed back.

***

When can I expect my results?" Magnus asked a while later.

Alexander had let Magnus let go of his hand first before he excused himself and Magnus watched as he flexed his hand on the way out.

Isabelle smiled, "It should be ready in a few days. A week tops."

Magnus nodded. "And where will I be staying tonight?"

"There's a private medical room already set up for you so unless you're hungry you can go there right now. I'm sure you're tired."

"Why do I look it? Magnus joked and Isabelle looked at him with reprehensive amusement.

"I'm sure you know you do," She replied before nudging him playfully, "But somehow you still make it work."

"It's all in what kind of moisturiser you use my dear," Magnus grinned as Isabelle laugh lightly and the door opened.

   Maryse Lightwood strode in. She didn't look tired enough for someone still awake at 3 am but then again none of the Lightwoods did, Magnus wasn't convinced it wasn't magic.

"Hard at work I see Isabelle," She remarked, so cold and formal you'd forget she was supposed to be her mother.

"I'm just processing Magnus' tests," Isabelle reported, standing up from where she had sat with Magnus on the patients reclined chair. Back straighter and sounding and seeming nothing like the confident young woman she was seconds ago.

"Clearly," Maryse said sarcastically, glaring at Magnus.

"Mother," Another voice Magnus could now register as Alexander sounded as the man himself turned around the door.

"Ah Alexander, perhaps you can tell me what is going on here exactly?" Maryse inquired and Magnus watched Alexander's eyes snap quickly to Isabelle, almost as if he was checking up on her.

"Isabelle was just finishing up Magnus' medical check," He responded simply, his stance unconsciously slipping into a parades rest.

"And where were you?"

"I was on the phone to Catarina Loss."

"Excuse me?" Maryse asks incredulously and Magnus perks up a little, wanting to ask the same question, although more politely than she just did. Magnus can almost see her eyes burning into her son from where he sits all the way across the room. "Why would you need to phone her?"

"I assumed she would like to be informed that Magnus was in a stable condition," Alexander answered plainly again, once again sounding like just another soldier delivering a report on a mission.

"And why would you assume that?"

"She brought Magnus here."

   Magnus can imagine the way Maryse's nostrils must be flaring, her eyes still burning into her sons, who, despite towering far above his mother, seems to purposely slouch to lessen the difference in front of her and Magnus is surprised to not see her correcting him, but then again, maybe she likes that he does that. That he makes concessions in how he presents himself to her.

_"He's going to be running that Institute someday."_

Magnus wonders if the knowledge of that bothers her. 

"In the future Alexander, you will remain by Bane's side. It was you, not Isabelle, that I assigned to be his monitor. And I expect you to follow those orders."

"Yes, mother."

"And come and speak to me tomorrow before you go," She orders just as she turns to leave and adds, "Privately." She waits for Alec to nod.

   As soon as she's left and the door is closed Alexander is walking straight for his sister, hand out to touch and hold onto her elbow lightly, eyes down to catch her own, asking silent questions only siblings can and Magnus feels like he's intruding. When Isabelle nods he pulls back and turns to Magnus.

"Catarina says she's glad your okay. And... she told me to tell you to behave... And put her as her higher on your speed dial." Magnus thought he sounded confused by the message but as a soldier seemed to still be compelled to deliver the message nonetheless.

Magnus snorts and hops off the table to stand beside Isabelle, "You'd think she'd know me well enough after about 200 odd years to know that I never behave."

Isabelle grins and Magnus thinks he may even see Alexander's lips tilt up at the corners before Isabelle is repeating her earlier question as she leads them all out of the medical room, "You hungry?"

***

"Oh, so I'm no longer being ostracised?" Jace exclaims as soon as they enter the kitchen, Clary Fray immediately noticeable beside him due to her red hair.

"Don't be so dramatic Jace," Clary says fondly, rubbing up along his arm and laughs as he pouts comically.

"We're just in here to get Magnus some food, then we're getting as far away from you as possible all over again," Isabelle jabs playfully.

"Tell me you're not letting her make something for you Magnus?" Jace asks, earning him another, less playful, jab from Isabelle.

"This is why I ostracise you," She glares and it's his turn to laugh as Clary comes up to Magnus and smiles politely, 

"Come on Magnus I'll get you something."

   Eating around a kitchen table in the New York Institute with only four Shadowhunters for company was not something Magnus had ever expected or planned on experiencing yet that's what happened.

   Jace spoke _a lot_. Earning him a near never-ending number of eye rolls from the others around him. He seemed cocky. His name, Jace Wayland now Herondale, was coming back to Magnus. He was another Shadowhunter he had heard a lot about before as well. He was the Shadowhunter golden boy in every sense of the word. He was Imogen Herondale's only surviving heir, the son of her dead son, killed at the hands of Valentine. He was highly skilled and quite possibly one of the best warriors they had, with even more power than most thanks to the rumoured experiments he was subjected to under Valentine as a baby. Magnus thought it a little too personal to ask about on a first meeting. When Jace wasn't talking he was hanging on Clary's every word or trading jabs with Isabelle or throwing remarks at Magnus and Alexander. 

   Clary was quieter. Not so much reserved as she was polite. He knew she was still getting used to all this, everyone knew her story, even Downworlders, and Magnus more than most considering he'd been wiping her memory for years as a child. She mostly sat smiling with an equal measure of love and amusement in her eyes at everything Jace said or did. She would spend a great deal of the conversation sharing knowing looks with Isabelle that was common amongst best friends and Magnus didn't even attempt to decode them. She didn't interact with Alexander much at all, she did shoot the odd glance his way though, watching his reaction to comments Jace or Isabelle made at their brother's expense and then sometimes she seemed to watch him for no real reason at all except to maybe make sure he was okay.

   Isabelle was the middle ground. She spoke to Magnus directly the most out of them all. She made the most jokes at Alexander's expense and earned the most reactions from him, although they were so small Magnus may have either missed most of them or imagined them all. She laughed a lot and she laughed out loud, bright and clear and happy. 

   Alexander, sitting in the group physically, giving the odd reaction, a slight smile, a small smirk, maybe even a huff of laughter, an ever-present shine to his eyes. Yet, he still felt separate. He didn't speak as he sat with his arms crossed and lying on the table in front of him. Even now closing himself off and Magnus suspected it was because of his being there. This only made Magnus curious. Curious to see what Alexander was like when he dropped the guard and when he let his reactions go uninhibited. Magnus found himself wanting to see Alexander laugh and began engaging more with the group discussion, throwing in more of his own jokes and keeping a close eye on Alexander but he never laughed. He did look at Magnus a few times though. Almost like he wasn't sure if he was supposed to but also sometimes as if he knew the jokes were being made for him and whenever he did catch Magnus' eye Magnus found his toes curling in his boots.

***

   Magnus woke feeling significantly better than he had the last few times he had regained consciousness. The beds at the Institute weren't great and the ones for patients were even worse, but he was fully rested and when he stepped out of his side room he found Isabelle Lightwood smiling at him with a cup of coffee and some buttered toast on a tray.

"I may not be the best cook but I think I can safely say I have toast and coffee pretty much down to an exact science," She smiled, "I didn't know if you liked jam so there's a pot on the side."

"Thank you, Isabelle," Magnus replied smiling, "If only you were assigned to monitor and not your brother, I think we would get along famously."

Isabelle smiled, a little less happy and a little more serious but she was still smiling, "Thank you. But Alec will be good for you."

"Good for me?" Magnus asked with a smirk, "I think I can handle myself dear and besides... your brother couldn't handle me." He winked and she laughed a little, still not truly genuine.

"Not what I meant," She explained, "And I know you can handle yourself. My brother is just a good guy. He knows what he's doing and just... you'll be in good hands. That and he's insanely neat."

Magnus laughed and finally, Isabelle seemed to fully reciprocate and he replied, "I'll take your word for it but I do have to tell you, I've never gotten along well with these stoic soldier types."

Isabelle smiled, "Just wait until he gets comfortable."

   Magnus was supposed to wait for Alexander by the main entrance but he was taking a lot longer than Magnus had expected and Magnus was getting antsy, he just wanted to be home now, and he missed his cats.

   Eventually, Magnus gave in to his curiosity and went out searching for his missing escort. No Shadowhunter he walked past stopped to take his questions or even ask where he was going although plenty stared after he passed by them. Eventually, he found himself back outside Maryse Lightwood's office and heard the slightly raised voices coming from within.

"I will not discuss this Alexander!" Maryse was yelling before seemingly composing herself to continue plainer and Magnus chanced his magic to let him hear better and was relieved when it worked immediately, "This is a mission. Magnus Bane is a mission. I assigned you to be his monitor because I knew you wouldn't get involved in the same way Isabelle might have, you know the way she is," She states clearly, a dismissive tone about her daughter's capabilities evident, and taking a small breath she continues even firmer, "I know you will be able to report back accordingly and honestly about Bane's condition. This is the top priority. The High Warlock of Brooklyn just losing control? You need to test the validity of his claims and for now, you need to keep others from finding out, at least until we can verify his condition and find some plausible cause and cure. If the Clave or any other Downworlder found out that someone as powerful as Magnus Bane has been compromised, and in our district no less, with no clear indication of how it happened or how to fix it, there will be uproar. I need you to listen to me, Alexander. I don't want any more independent decisions with this. You do not call other warlocks without my consent on the matter and when in front of Bane you do not question my decisions, and I want daily updates on your mission. Am I making myself clear?"

"Yes mother," Alexander confirms almost immediately and Magnus clenches his fists by his sides. His life was turning into a George Orwell novel by the second and any forming impressions he may have had about Alexander as someone to be trusted seemed to vanish, so quick to defer all control to his mother, so quick to agree to terms about Magnus' condition without Magnus' consent. Magnus shouldn't be disappointed but for some reason, he found that he was. Was he really to be tucked and hidden away until the Shadowhunters knew what to do with him? That just wouldn't do at all and there was no way he would allow it to happen.

He turned without hesitation back down the hall to wait by the door. Eyes blazing and arms coming up to fold across his chest to create another barrier between him and the surely imminent arrival of his new guard, Magnus waited in silence, pushing back the absurd small voice in the back of his head that maybe, just maybe, Alexander could prove him wrong.

***

Alec's P.O.V

   Alec closes the office door behind him and holds back a groan, reaching a hand up to rub at his eyes. His mother's words still burning in his mind and ringing in his ears, having drilled in the importance of his mission incessantly for the first half of the debriefing. He already knew the importance of this mission but he doesn't think his mother understands it in the same way he does, and he doesn't think anyone understands it in the way Magnus does.

   Alec isn't one to disobey orders and he isn't exactly planning on starting now, at least not outright. But he can't help but feel his mother may be misguided in more than dew aspects of the situation, either by her prejudices against Downworlders, fear of Valentine, or simply her dislike for Magnus Bane. He wants to be a loyal son and obedient soldier but as he continues his walk back to meet up with Magnus he can't help but let the nagging attention to his conscience grow. He turns the final corner and sees Magnus standing, waiting for him.

The first thought Alec's brain supplies him with is that Magnus looks like magic. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will take two weeks-ish probably because I'll be going away to Rome this week but I'll try and get some work in on it this week so I can update as soon as I can when I get back!  
> I hope you all liked it!
> 
> tumblr: @fangirlbusiness


	3. Chapter Three - Home Sweet Home

Magnus' P.O.V

   When Magnus used his magic to open his front door Alec didn't say anything. When they stepped in and walked straight into the aftermath of Magnus' outbursts, shards of glass from the mirrors decorating the wooden floors, books flown out in every corner with loose pages strewn here, there, and everywhere, and the smell of smoke and singed hair still hanging in the air, either from the fireplace Magnus had blazed or from the aftershocks of his magic in the air Magnus wasn't sure, Alec still said nothing. And he said nothing when Magnus twirled a hand and everything was put back into its proper order. Magnus side-eyed him carefully, searching for any suspicion that Alexander may have that Magnus' claims of out of control magic were fabricated (as his mother clearly believed).

   Magnus clapped his hands together, forcing a wide smile on his face, and turned swiftly around to Alexander who watched with raised eyebrows at Magnus' sudden movement, "Well, home sweet home Alexander. I suppose you should make yourself comfortable," Alexander only nodded in reply and took an awkward glance around the room, feet shuffling a few degrees but otherwise refusing to move and Magnus really didn't want to become frustrated with his new human personification of an ankle monitor so quickly excused himself to get freshened up.

   Going for a shower wasn't just an excuse to escape Alexander's stifling company but a chance to make Magnus feel like himself again. He still felt the itch of the Institute on his body, the vaguely metallic and antiseptic smell of the medical ward on his clothes, and moving his arm was a bother when he realised he still had the bruise from where he had his blood taken. His hand soon lit with his magic, crackling slightly around his fingertips, but he didn't immediately move it to heal the bruise on his arm. He stood partly under the stream of water raining down on him and carefully turned his hand around, observing his magic. It glowed steadily and licked around his fingertips and felt the same way it always felt.

   It was warm and strangely tangible in a way that was unique for every warlock. For Magnus, it trickled through his fingers, pulling the flames upwards as it waited to be used. It felt like someone was unravelling rope from inside his body as if he was calling on it from the depths of a bottomless well that would always be there for him. The mere ignition of it in his hands was enough to loosen the knots in his back. Staring at it now he almost wondered if he had overreacted. If his magic was fine, that it just needed some proper rest, that maybe whatever he had been injected with was short-term and only supposed to weaken him enough for the rest of the fight with the circle members.

   It was wishful thinking of course because, while ever since this morning it had been responding just fine, whenever he thought too hard about it or when, like now, he moved his hand closer to his own body it was as if it turned on his fight or flight response and despite his best efforts his body was flooded with panic. He quickly forced himself to move his hand away from the syringe wound and, with more distance from himself than he was used to, he waved a hand over the bruise and watched it slowly melt away from his skin.

   When he stepped out of the shower and turned off the water he expected to hear the sounds of movement around his loft, a sign that Alexander had actually followed his request and stepped into his loft. Not that Magnus necessarily wanted the man to really feel at home in a place that clearly wasn't his, but Magnus' and Magnus' alone. Still, Magnus couldn't imagine how he wouldn't lose his mind with a roommate who barely said a word and couldn't take more than a step or two into his hallway. Maybe he could take a leaf out of the ancient Romans book and have Alexander stand in his parade rest in the corner of his living room like a statue the same way they did with their favourite gladiators, _"Oh yes! That's my Shadowhunter, do you like it? Go wave a hand in front of his face, he won't even flinch!"_

   Magnus had never been overly hopeful at the prospect of being put under Shadowhunter 'care', being placed under a microscope and completely at their will. Shadowhunters, he had found, almost always had their own agenda when it came to Downworlder matters and would always favour the needs of their own people before the ones they were supposed to protect. Yet, Magnus had to admit he, foolishly, initially, thought Alexander would have been alright. Of course, Magnus would have preferred his sister Isabelle or even Clary Fray, despite her inexperience. With them at least he could have a conversation.

   But Alexander had seemed respectful upon being invited into the meeting concerning Magnus' situation. He listened attentively and seriously and appeared more than ready to compromise with Magnus over how they went about his monitoring process until his mother shot his ideas down. Then, of course, Magnus' opinion of him had strangely moved in his favour when he, without being told or even indicated to do so, sent his own brother away in order to give the privacy Magnus wanted, despite him not voicing his uneasiness. Then, there was also the case of the offer of support Alexander had given to him when Magnus was having his blood taken which, if Magnus was being honest with himself, had completely surprised him, which was _not_ something that happened often.

  Combined, it had all been very surprising and very confusing for Magnus to see from a Shadowhunter and Alexander appeared to have real intuition and compassion Magnus had previously thought impossible for a soldier to possess. Granted, Alexander still hadn't seemed overly approachable but he obviously wasn't cruel. He seemed a serious and responsible leader while also uncommonly fair. And Magnus initially thought, ' _well things could be worse_ '. Which was foolish looking back in retrospect because then he'd overheard Alexander and his mother and he realised just how wrong first impressions could be. Magnus was a mission to Alexander. Assigned by his mother to make sure that Magnus was actually losing control of his magic.

   As if any warlock would so easily lie about something like that. Magic wasn't, as some thought, just another body part to be felt and classed in the same way people separate their arms from their legs or their eyes from their ears. Magic wasn't something physical you could touch, it had no physical weight to it. It was so much more than anything else any person could imagine, it was something many warlocks found hard to even describe, it was one and the same as a person's life force. It was the essence of everything a warlock was. With them since birth and leaving with them at death. Magnus thought it might as well have been a part of his own soul. And _definitely_ not something any self-respecting warlock would lie about.

   Whatever supposed natural good qualities Alexander possessed were to be ignored. His role as an obedient soldier and son overshadowed everything. He was following the decisions of his mother without a thought to Magnus' opinions on them. He was, like so many Shadowhunters before him, trying to impose upon Magnus' free will. Control where he went, who could see him, what he chose to do with himself, and how he would go about doing it. Despite whatever his intentions had seemed originally Magnus was now convinced Alexander was nothing more than a puppet who could only and would only follow orders, ignoring his own gut and instincts.

   Magnus could have no time or respect for people such as him. No trust and no possible friendship for a man who ignored his own sense in favour of blindly obeying orders that were so painstakingly obviously wrong. Yet Magnus also registered the need to force some civility with him, if they were to live together in the close confines of his loft then Magnus couldn't entirely hate him. But forced smiles and forced conversations were as far as Magnus could go.

   Magnus, now dressed and finally feeling more like himself, started to venture back to where he had left Alexander and saw almost instantly that the man hadn't moved any more than a couple of steps into the house before stopping again. Magnus was ready to roll his eyes, announce himself with a sarcastic quip about Alexander's reservations to become comfortable in a place that wasn't his when so many others would, when the sounds of soft cooing reached his ears and he paused where he stood, watching. 

   Watching as Alexander stood and scratched around the ears of his purring cat, Chairman Meow, and slowly raised another hand to pet over the second, Church, who had been insistently pressing his head into Alexander's thigh from where it stood on the sofa of the living room. The two cats had completely ignored, or perhaps simply not noticed, their owner and continued to do so in favour of the attention of the man above them. Alexander seemed equally engrossed in the cats and had a slight lilt to the corner of his mouth that Magnus reprimanded himself from thinking looked devilishly handsome. He stood still and watched Alexander make soft, gentle, unintelligible noises in the cats' directions that, if Magnus had not been standing only a few feet away, he might have thought he was imagining. 

  Magnus hadn't been entirely sure what he had expected to what in on. He had prepared himself for maybe walking in and catching Alec in the act of snooping through the books in his library or in his study, searching for something incriminating. He certainly wasn't prepared for this and it annoyed him exceedingly. He'd just made his mind up about Alexander, and he didn't need any more attractive qualities popping up that would cloud his judgement and resolved to end this scene, and his torment, immediately.

   He clapped his hands together, watching Alexander jump at the sound just as he had before and while he stood straighter he didn't form the soldier's stance as Magnus had expected he would and kept one hand petting over his cats. Magnus frowned in further irritation but upon noting the confusion that flashed across Alexander's face he forced a light tone and said, "Well, I'm glad to see you've already met my cats, Chairman Meow and Church," he didn't fail to notice the slightly raised eyebrows at their names but continued, "It's good to see you get along. Church can be... let's say, _reserved_ with his affections."

   Despite the fact that Magnus thinks it's pretty obvious that it's Alexander's turn to speak, he doesn't, simply looking from the cat and back to Magnus, and Magnus holds back a huff of annoyance and tries again, "I expect you'll be needing someone to bring more of your things?"

"Uh... no," Alexander says at last, rather awkwardly with one hand going to the strap on his bag and holding it self-consciously, "This is it."

Magnus couldn't help but let his gaze wander over the pitiful single bag that was slung over Alexander's shoulder while also not doubting he had a few glamoured weapons on him somewhere, "Well then," He sighed, "If you want to unpack I can summon up a spare room for you. Unless you insist on guarding me while I sleep, in which case a very comfortable sofa at the end of my bed will await you."

Once again Alexander appeared at a loss for words, Magnus watched his gaze as it quickly moved in the general direction of Magnus' bedroom before planting firmly right back into to the living room and yet he still said nothing although at least this time he did seem to be mustering about a response but Magnus didn't have all day to wait. Magnus' sigh was more emphasised this time and he took a few steps forward, "If we're going to have any chance at this set up working I'm afraid we will have to talk to each other Alexander." Again Alec remained silent and Magnus fought to not roll his eyes, "I'm not suggesting we become best friends and braid each other's hair but a few words of response every now and again would be appreciated."

Alec nodded before seeming to catch himself and cleared his throat, "Understood."

   This time Magnus can help but roll his eyes, he's not exactly giving him a lot to work with and yes Magnus knows he had decided to be civil but come on. Maybe the Roman statue idea wasn't half bad. He was ready to make some parting comment to give him another excuse to remove himself from the situation when his doorbell rang. Magnus eyes his door carefully and is half surprised to see that Alexander, his so-called guardian doesn't react alarmed in the slightest and merely turns to the door, so much for being his great protector.

   Magnus moves to the door and uses his magic to amplify his voice and demands to know who disturbs the High Warlock of Brooklyn, out of the corner of his eye he spots Alexander's mouth once again lilt a little upwards... but then again, it's so slight he probably imagined it.

"It's me you dramatic ass," Came the exasperated voice of Catarina and Magnus, too astonished to reply, flicks his wrist and lets the doors open for her. "I would have entered in on my own," She announces as soon as she steps through the door, "But I don't know if that fits protocol." She finishes with an expectant look to Alexander, which Magnus follows, although he is more bewildered than expectant. He's waiting for Alexander to throw her out rather than answering her questions.

"I would prefer if you waited to be allowed in from now on. At least until we have a better understanding of what's going on and who's a threat," Alexander replies calmly and Magnus' mouth falls open even wider at his nonchalance, and the fact it's the most words he's heard out of his mouth all day.

"So I'm under suspicion?" Cat asks, hands moving to her hips.

"I want to say officially that we're just not ruling anybody out," Alec replies diplomatically and Magnus watches Cat smirk.

"And unofficially?" 

"I think you're safe," Alec states before both turn to Magnus who is sure he looks like a gaping fish and quickly closes his mouth.

"What are you doing here?" He asks Cat immediately, then realising how rude that must have sounded he shots her an apologetic look, "I was under the impression I wasn't allowed unsanctioned contact with other warlocks." 

"Considering Alec was the one who called me to let me know you were here, I'm assuming it's alright," Cat answers simply and Magnus' gaze falls to Alec who looks strangely uncomfortable again, before clearing his throat,

"I got her number from the Institute's archives and invited her here while you were cleaning up."

   He wasn't making this easy for him, was he? Magnus stared at Alec for a moment, considering him. He was looking at Magnus with that bashful yet patient expression he'd had when he'd offered Magnus his hand and Magnus wondered if any part of this was an act. How could someone who switched from one polar opposite to the other possibly be both and not just forcing the other? And which was Magnus to know was the genuine one. It was probably safer not to dwell on it at the moment, he'd just come to one conclusion about Alexander he didn't need to be immediately changing that again. Not before he got a second opinion. So Magnus raised his hand and, never taking his eyes from Alec's, twisted his magic to live and felt it ripple out across his loft as another room soon materialised beside his own.

"Your room is down the hall and to the right. You can make yourself at home there," He stated simply and watched as Alec stood with a nod and went to move before pausing and muttered a small, "Thank you." before he set off and Magnus didn't look back to Cat until he heard the bedroom door close.

"So your magic is working alright?" Cat asked, eyeing him closely.

"Yes," Magnus affirmed and moved to lead her to the sofa at the fire and slowly turned to her, "You don't think we overreacted in going to the Institute do you?"

Cat didn't even wait to think, "No. Not when I experienced what I did when your magic burst out."

"I don't think I ever got round to apologising for that," Magnus replied and watched as Cat scoffed dismissively.

"And you don't need to. Magnus nothing you did was your fault."

"And you don't think it was all just a fluke? That it's fine now. My magic has been responding to me just fine."

"And do you feel fine?" Cat asked firmly and nodded when Magnus' silence was answer enough. "I don't know what's been done to you or your magic but I don't think it was a fluke. Valentine attacks people for a reason. He attacked you for a reason. And I don't think all that serum was supposed to do was make you an easy target."

"What was it supposed to do then?"

"That's for Isabelle Lightwood to say."

"How do you know Isabelle Lightwood?" Magnus asked.

"Alec told me she was your medic and asked me if I would be free to consult with her during the course of her research," She explained then smiled at his shocked expression, "I was surprised as well."

"Was this during your phone call?"

"Yes, why?"

"It's just...," Magnus hesitated, twirling a ring around his finger and feeling the engraving running along it before he looked Cat dead in the eye, "Before we left the Institute I overheard a meeting Alexander was having with his mother. She ordered him to make sure of the validity of my claims and also restrict my contact with other warlocks without her consent. And I don't see any way that she would allow you into the Institute to work on my case. Unless of course, she wants you to be kept a close eye on because you brought me in and she probably suspects we're both lying."

Cat paused for a moment this time, one eye squinted for a second before she looked at him clearly and spoke calmly, "Do you know what Alec said when he invited me here?"

"No."

"He said he thought it would be good for you to see someone you trusted, to have someone you could talk to about how you were feeling," She took a breath now, simply because she had or to or to let the words sink in to Magnus he wasn't sure but then she was continuing, "I wish you could have had me or Ragnor or even Raphael here to watch over you but if it had to be a Shadowhunter you could have done much much worse. He's a soldier, I'll give you that. He doesn't appear at all talkative or sure of himself and he probably isn't the easiest person for strangers to get along with... but, he's a leader. That much is clear as day."

"A leader who ignores all of his own instincts in order to appease his superior. I heard him agree to his mother's demands Cat."

"You heard him agree to all of those things but have you yet to see him act on all of those things?"

Magnus had his mouth open and ready to argue but found no actual example to give and watched Cat smirked before he fell silent and eventually said, "I can't trust him Cat."

"I'm not telling you to trust him. Lilith, you've known him two days!" She exclaims, "Just... believe in him a little. The benefit of the doubt. He is not his mother and until he proves you wrong, you're going to have to not doubt his intentions every single time he does something. Talk to him. Ask him about it."

"I can barely get two words from him and you expect me to build a foundation of mutual respect from a conversation that will never happen?" Magnus asks incredulously, maybe he's going a lot over the top but he knows he has a valid point and even Cat concedes a little before saying,

"You'll still have to try." 

"I know you're right," Magnus sighs and watches her smirk,

"I always am."

***

Alec's P.O.V

   Alec wasn't entirely sure what he was doing. His conscience had won out about halfway up the stairs to Magnus' apartment and he'd already decided to call Catarina Loss when Magnus left to shower.

   Magnus had provided him with a room that looked as if it had been plucked straight from the Institute itself and his bag dropped to the end of the bed rather unceremoniously. He wasn't going to bother unpacking, not because he didn't want to make himself comfortable like Magnus had instructed, but because he didn't see the point. He hadn't brought much to warrant putting them all away, a few pairs of jeans, some jumpers and shirts, and a spare pair of clothes for gear. He could have brought more, in fact, he could picture a few of the clothes he had left behind at the Institute, but he could manage with what he had and he really hadn't wanted to seem like he was infiltrating Magnus' home. Alec could already tell Magnus felt bad enough about his situation without Alec turning the loft into less of a home for Magnus just to suit Alec's own comforts. Still, he unpacked. He put his clothes in the drawers and a picture of his siblings on the bedside table. It didn't take five minutes but Magnus had asked him to do it and he thought he owed him at least that much.

   He knows he's not the most open or talkative of people, knows he can come across as aloof and uninterested to people who he's not comfortable with, and this is a new situation for Alec. To be living in such close quarters and guarding someone, on a mission he's never experienced, who he doesn't know and someone who, well, someone who distracts Alec a little too easily. Magnus Bane is... new. Different verging on eccentric in ways Alec was unaware he would find endearing but he wasn't going to allow himself to dwell on that factor, those thoughts and ideas could lead him to nowhere or any good. At the very most it was a surface level attraction and that was something Alec had learnt to ignore all of his life, so now shouldn't be any different. It certainly wasn't going to stand in the way of Alec and his job and he's more than sure that Magnus wouldn't appreciate finding out about Alec's slight... appreciation for him. Magnus was attractive and that was all Alec would let himself recognise. He had a job to do and he couldn't let anything get in the way of that.

  The ring of his phone brought him out of his own thoughts and he answered immediately upon seeing Izzy's name flashing up at him.

"So tell me," Came the smiling tone of his sister and Alec couldn't help the fond smile that spread across his face.

"Tell you what?" He asked plainly and even through the phone, he could imagine her rolling her eyes.

"Don't play dumb with me Alec. How is Magnus, Magnus' loft! Just... Everything," She countered.

"It's... fine."

"Fine? The High Warlock of Brooklyn and his home is fine?"

"I don't know what you want from me here Iz," He replied, shrugging even though she couldn't see him.

"Anything. Just... what is it like?"

"The loft... fits his personality," Alec surmised.

"And him?"

Alec hesitated before answering, "Different."

"Good different?"

"That remains to be seen but... I suppose, yeah." 

   He could tell through Isabelle's momentary silence that she wanted to ask more. Wanted to push a little further and really find out what Alec thought. She knew, of course, the way a sister always knows, that he was hiding something. She knew, the way a sister so close to a brother as she was to him knew, that he was gay. He'd never told her in so many words, had never said it to himself before, never really thought it in such plain terms even in his own mind before. It wasn't something he often allowed himself to recognise about himself. It wasn't exactly something he saw himself as being allowed to be. She could tell though and she could probably tell that he had been a little more than just caught off guard by his appearance both at the Institute but also in general, but she never pushed things. She would hear from him whatever he chose to tell her and leave it at that and right now he was ignoring any of his personal observations in exchange for being professional. 

"Have you spoken to him yet?" She asked instead.

"A little."

"And?"

"And he materialised a room for me."

"His magic is doing okay?"

"Seems to be."

"What else?"

"What else what?"

He heard her scoff before saying, "I mean what else did you talk about?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" She asked disbelievingly.

"Izzy, he's been talking to Catarina Loss for the past fifteen minutes and before that... well, I didn't have much to say."

"Catarina Loss?" Isabelle asked carefully, voice considerably lower and Alec wondered where in the Insititute she was that she felt the need to do so, "I thought mum said he was to have no unauthorised contact with other warlocks?"

"What mum doesn't know can't hurt her," Alec justified and heard Isabelle laugh.

"My, my, Alec! Are you breaking the rules?"

"I wouldn't say that," Alec bristled, "I authorised the contact. I'm in charge of his monitoring process and-."

"It wasn't a criticism Alec!" Isabelle interrupted quickly and he relaxed at the sound of a grin in her voice, "I would have done the same thing. Does that mean mum also doesn't know about your request for her to consult with me on Magnus' case?"

"It might."

"Oh, mum is going to love this when she finds out!"

"She's not going to find out Iz. I'm serious," Alec was coming across a lot sterner than he meant to and he sighed, scraping a hand over his face before digging the nails of his hand into a fist by his side. Clinging to the slight pain to release his stress in any direction that wasn't his sister, "I just - I can't follow orders on this one. Or least not all of them. I don't know. I guess my conscience won't let me. I mean, this is about a person and I just... I can't let normal protocol run on this one. Besides, my gut is telling me that isolation isn't going to be a cure here."

"I agree with you," Isabelle replied, voice softer than he knew he deserved but this was just how Isabelle got with him sometimes, like she knew saying this was hard for him, as a loyal soldier and dutiful son but also someone with their own set principles. "I agree with everything."

"Thank you," He breathed and they let the silence hang for a few moments between them.

   When the bedroom door was knocked and in a second opened just a hint enough for Magnus' head to peer through Alec wished he hadn't wasted those few seconds to talk to his sister.

He looked over to Magnus who actually looked rather apologetic to have walked in on the phone call and Alec gave me a small nod before focusing all of his attention back on his sister, "Iz, I gotta go."

"Okay, just... make sure to call. Let me know how you're doing."

"I will, I promise," He said with a smile she couldn't see, hanging up before goodbyes could properly be said. He wasn't entirely sure how much time he would be passing between the loft and the Institute but he had a feeling it wouldn't be a lot.

   He locked his phone and quickly glanced back to Magnus who stood at the door, twirling a large ornate ring around his finger. Alec watched the bob of his Adam's apple and the way it shifted the long, silver, necklace hanging around his neck. Alec fixes his eyes to Magnus' instead.

"Would you like to eat?" Magnus asked, voice steady despite the tension Alec could feel in the air between them. He nodded simply before remembering Magnus' earlier request and spoke instead,

"Yeah -, yeah food sounds great."

***

Magnus' P.O.V

   He really hadn't meant to use his magic to eavesdrop on Alexander's phone call, to his sister Isabelle. He'd been telling the truth when he told Cat he would try and give him the benefit of the doubt but... baby steps. He really only heard the tail end of it. About how Alexander had willingly gone against his mother's wishes in inviting Cat here and how he planned to keep doing so. Magnus was having serious whiplash about this whole situation.

  He'd thought the conversation to be over when he'd knocked. Sure the ending seemed abrupt after only a simple 'thank you' but Magnus had always supposed Shadowhunters to be abrupt people, leaving no room for 'I love you's, or 'I'll miss you's, or even a simple 'goodbye', and the call had still ended rather shortly. But the phone call hadn't ended. And Alexander once again switched personalities. Entering the loft cool and aloof but was now standing on the phone smiling at his sister with a soft expression she wouldn't even see. Magnus had almost wanted to close the bedroom door again to give them some privacy but by that point, Alexander had already seen him.

   Magnus was going to have to do some serious rethinking because Alexander certainly wasn't going to be making this easy for him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was later than expected but I'm back from Rome so the typical 'one week unless something terrible happens' update rule will be back in order!  
> Magnus is experiencing a lot of back and forth and Alec is experiencing an entirely new situation so we'll see how they handle it.  
> tumblr is @fangirlbusiness <3


	4. Chapter Four- Rome Wasn't Built In A Day

Magnus' P.O.V

Magnus was feeling uncharacteristically awkward, perhaps Alexander's own demeanour was contagious. Yet, Alexander Lightwood had him flailing. Magnus had just agreed to not doubt every word that came out of his mouth and while he wasn't prepared to become friends any time soon Alexander was making the idea not seem entirely horrible right now. Magnus had never imagined himself to ever make friends with someone so serious and reserved but Alexander kept surprising him, quietly displaying very attractive qualities at every turn but Cat had also been correct to say they had only known each other for two days. Two days wasn't nearly long enough to truly know someone's character and Alexander could yet show his ugly side and Magnus decided that he was quite sure that, within a few weeks of close quarters, his relationship with Alexander would be almost certainly resentful, on both sides.

"I'll be honest with you Alexander," He announced, forcing the awkward air aside as they came into the kitchen, "I don't usually keep a steady stock of food unless I'm planning something extravagant. I tend to just conjure up whatever I fancy," Upon noting Alexander's furrowing brow he rolls his eyes and waves a hand to materialise a selection of breakfast foods into existence over his counter tops and looks back to Alexander, "It's not quite stealing. I just deposit the money straight into the bank accounts, it's... more efficient that way. But, if you're more comfortable with preparing your own meals then I can arrange a weekly replenishment of my cupboards."

"Thank you," Alexander says, and he sounds sincere and Magnus imagines that's all he's going to get in response before Alexander adds on, sounding cautious, "As long as you still feel comfortable in your magic being able to do so."

Magnus squints his eyes, wondering if this is where the check on the validity of his magical concerns comes in, "If you'd rather play safe then I can arrange a daily order that will charge my bank account. Someone will deliver and you can carry them upstairs and unpack them wherever you may choose,"

Alexander either doesn't pick up on his suddenly curt and mildly irritated tone or simply chooses to ignore it because he nods and merely thanks him again. Magnus isn't over his defensive mood though and decides to poke further into Alexander's possible questioning of his condition,

"My magic has felt and reacted in the usual way since I woke up."

"That's good," Alexander replies and once again, after a seconds pause, he adds, "I just want to take precautions in case it suddenly goes the other way. Or maybe it'll be gradual. I would just recommend caution and careful consideration where your magic is concerned."

"So I'm not to permit any clients? What would you recommend I do with my time?" Magnus inquires and he knows he's steadily raising his attack and he can only admit to half trying to rein himself back.

"I'm not saying that at all," Alec answers and Magnus pauses, watching him closely, "You're still the High Warlock of Brooklyn and considering how your magic seems stable at the moment I don't see why you shouldn't be able to exercise it accordingly, if with a little more watchfulness."

"Seems stable? It is stable at the moment. Or would you like to examine the validity of my claims?" Magnus asks, and perhaps he's being too outright, too obvious that he overheard Alexander and his mother but Magnus finds that he wants to see Alexander's reaction to that knowledge more than he wants to keep the peace that Cat had suggested.

Alexander visibly bristles, standing a little straighter and squinting an eye, Magnus isn't sure if he's jumped to the correct conclusion that Magnus had overheard or if he's just taken aback by the accusation. His tone is, however, far more measured than before. A natural sense of pragmatism that screams diplomat coming from his every word and Magnus once again remembers the man in front of him is one day going to be the Head of the New York Institute, "I am here to examine your condition, that much is true. But I'm not examining whether or not you were telling the truth, I already trust that you were, I trust that Catarina Loss was, I trust my own eyes when I saw that puncture wound. Whether or not it was meant to affect you long-term or short-term remains to be seen but I will be here to monitor either or."

Magnus stares at him, perhaps for too long. He watches as a pink flush takes over Alexander's cheekbones, but his stance and his face remained resolute and firm, jaw clenching and eyes never wavering while Magnus' do. If Cat were here he knows she'd slap him across the head for doing precisely the very thing he said he wouldn't do and doubt his every word. Alexander Lightwood is evidently far more complex than Magnus gave him credit for and Magnus was now firm in his belief that while he didn't have to trust the man in front of him, he did have to respect him. He definitely wasn't his mother's pawn.

Finally, Magnus concedes, "I apologise."

Magnus watches as Alexander visibly loosens and the corners of his mouth even going as far as turning into half a smile as he replies, "It's alright. I get it."

"I'm not sure you do," Magnus replies, "But I can appreciate the sentiment," Alexander nods minutely and Magnus decides to backtrack on all of the tension, "But I asked you in here to eat breakfast, not argue, so tuck in."

"Thank you," Alexander replied, pulling various items of food over to himself as Magnus did the same. Magnus stirred his own coffee thoughtfully as he stared at him, wondering if there was any way in which he could make their conversation lighter, or as light as one could be given their situation,

"You can call me Magnus you know?" He said at last and Alexander looked up, "No middle name to have to choose between. I imagine you do, in my rather extensive experience I've never known a Shadowhunter to ever just be given the one."

"Gideon," Alexander supplied, not sounding overly fond and it was Magnus' turn to quirk his mouth into a smile that Alexander seemed to catch because it was surprisingly returned, "But I would ask you not to use it."

Magnus' smile grew as he raised an almost teasing eyebrow, "Oh? Not a fan of Gideon?"

"Not overly fond no." Alexander smiled, still slight and like it could be plucked from the air in a second but it was there, he looked oddly pensive though like he debating something before he spoke again, "You can call me Alec though."

"Not fond of Alexander either?" Magnus asked with slightly raised eyebrows, he had after all been calling him that exclusively since meeting.

"Only my parents call me Alexander," He explains and Magnus nods.

"Alec it is then," He agreed and let the conversation lapse into silence until they were both finished with their food and Magnus spoke again, giving a pointed look to Alec's empty plate, "Better than the Institute I imagine?"

"Most things are," Alec replied and Magnus wondered if that meant more than just about the food.

"I suppose we'll be seeing a lot of it from now on," He observed.

"About once a week," Alexander - Alec - replied, "It really depends on your condition and whatever Izzy might find."

"But you'll be there more often than I will?"

"I'll only be there when you are," Alec answered, looking mildly confused.

"I didn't think you would be allowed to skirt on your Shadowhunter duties," Magnus continued and Alec was shaking his head before he was even finished,

" _This_ is my only duty right now."

Magnus blinked, reminded again of that renowned Shadowhunter reputation he had been told so much about, that they were always steadfastly dedicated to whatever mission they were assigned. He cleared his throat, looking away from Alec and then back again, regaining composure, "Well you'll still be going on patrol surely."

"I hadn't planned on it."

"Well _I_ certainly don't plan on stopping taking clients," Magnus replied, eyeing Alec closely, "Unless of course, you have some kind of objection."

"Like I said before, taking clients is fine," Alec shrugged, "Your magic seems fine at the moment and while I'd recommend not taking on too many clients and none that would be too strenuous for you, just to be safe, I don't have a problem with it."

"In that case, I don't see the problem with you going on patrol," Magnus answered.

"I would just feel more comfortable if I was here, just in case something happened. Besides, I've already told Jace I won't be there tonight," Alec admitted and Magnus rolled his eyes, coming across more exasperatedly amused than he'd planned.

"Like you said, my magic is stable right now. If you want you can stay in tonight, miss patrol and 'monitor' me to your heart's content to satisfy your worries then fine. But if, as I suspect, all goes off without a hitch, you can go back on patrol. I'll probably be done with my clients by the time you leave anyway. How's that for a compromise?" Magnus offered and watched patiently as Alec debated things over in his mind before finally sighing and targeting Magnus with an almost scrutinising glare,

"If you're sure?"

"I'm sure."

***

   Magnus knows he's not being entirely practical with his decision to keep having clients and send Alec off on to patrol. His magic could always take a turn for the worse and either result in something as small as a potion spoiling mid simmer or result in something huge like a demon breaking lose or even the inadvertent maiming of a client but he couldn't with a good conscience just sit around all day. Feeling the thrum of his magic steady under his skin, just fine, and not use it to do anything of note. He was still the High Warlock of Brooklyn and as long as he had his capabilities about him he would use them. And sure, sending the one neutral person in terms of his magic's reactions to other people, and who was also supposed to be watching over him, away for hours at a time each night was probably risky, Magnus saw it as self-preservation. 

   One conversation ending in some form of compromise and no argument was no guarantee they wouldn't be at each other's throats by the weeks end if all they both saw was each other. Even the half argument they'd had before over the validity of Magnus' concerns had been enough to frustrate Magnus. He had been ready to throw all his promises to Catarina out the window in favour of letting off some steam and yelling at the Shadowhunter in front of him but no. He hadn't been allowed that. Because Alec Lightwood was too patient, too stubborn, too pragmatic, too insistent on maintaining a sense of peace to allow Magnus the satisfaction of yelling at him. It was all very off-putting. Alec was a conflicting mixture of Magnus' impressions of him and the surprises he kept throwing Magnus' way and it just wouldn't do.

  Of course, this wasn't just for him. This was for Alec as well. Alec surely wouldn't be a fan of being cooped up with an increasingly erratic warlock all of the time and Magnus was sure he would miss his siblings let alone the chance to see the world outside of Magnus' loft. 

  Yes, Magnus thought this was a rather good plan.

***

   "Are you insane?" Ragnor asked incredulously through the phone as Magnus stirred his potion, causing Alec to look up from where he sat runing his arrows at the other side of the room. Magnus glanced both in embarrassment and apology towards him before picking up the phone and switching to handheld, holding it awkwardly between his ear and his shoulder as he continued adding ingredients.

"I would appreciate it if you kept your voice down," He grumbled, voice considerably lower than his friends, determined to keep some form of privacy from his monitor.

"Oh I'm sorry did my outburst make your Shadowhunter uncomfortable?" Ragnor mocked and Magnus huffed in distaste.

"He's not my- That's not the point," He sighed, "Look, just take it up with Cat. She was the one who took me to the Institute in the first place."

"Oh, believe me, I will be having words with Cat my friend," Ragnor replied venomously, "And I can't believe I'm only hearing about this now."

"Well it has been a busy sort of two days," Magnus said sarcastically and he could almost hear Ragnor's eye roll.

"Don't use sarcasm with me, Magnus, I'm too old for it," He groaned. Magnus dropped the final ingredient into the potion and watched it fizz on the surface before melting into the liquid and transforming it entirely blue. Smiling he turned it off the heat and went back to his phone call.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"Tell me you're firing that Shadowhunter and coming to stay with me. It'll be a lot more trouble for Valentine to bother you in London," Ragnor implored and Magnus' couldn't help the laugh that erupted out of him, his smile stretching wide as he replied,

"My dear cabbage you know we can't spend more than two days together, don't you remember the 70s?"

"Well, at least this time I won't have to contend with you and David Bowie," Ragnor grumbled and Magnus rolled his eyes.

"Look, I appreciate the offer but I already suggested it and Cat said no."

"I really have to have words with her," Ragnor muttered, more to himself than to Magnus.

"She's right Ragnor," Magnus interrupted and could hear Ragnor's astonishment through the phone, "My magic feels volatile around most other warlocks. Or at least I begin to feel queasy around them. And Raphael is too busy with his clan. So, a Shadowhunter is the, sadly, perfect alternative."

"That doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."

"Well, neither am I, old friend, but we have to make do," Magnus reassured, still smiling at his friend's contempt for Magnus' own situation.

"How is your Shadowhunter treating you... Alec Lightwood did you say?"

"How many times- he's not my- Yes. Yes, Alec Lightwood," Magnus replied exasperatedly, giving a sideways glance over to the man in question to make sure he wasn't eavesdropping. No, he was still meticulously trailing his stele across his arrows.

"Robert and Maryse's son?"

"Their eldest yes."

"They were Circle weren't they?" Ragnor asked and Magnus could tell where he was going without him needing to say it.

"No," He said firmly, "No. There are few things that I know for certain about Alec but I do know that he has no Valentine sympathies."

"And how do you know that?" Ragnor asked sceptically.

"I just do, I can tell," Magnus answers, ignoring the loud scoff Ragnor sends down the phone, "I'm serious Ragnor."

"Be wary is all I'm saying."

"When am I not?" He asks, hanging up before Ragnor can finish his cry of objection.

***

Alec's P.O.V

   Alec was respectful enough to not discreetly burn his hearing rune into action. He even resisted the urge to try and lip read. Magnus had started the call quietly enough to let Alec know he wanted some privacy and Alec felt safe enough to trust that Magnus wasn't having any untoward conversations. Alec had, of course, looked over at the sudden outcry of the person Magnus was talking too and it was enough to let Alec guess that the phonecall revolved around Magnus' situation, and probably to a degree Alec's role in it. It wasn't much cause for surprise for Alec to discover other warlocks didn't take the news Magnus was being monitored by a Shadowhunter too well, relations had, admittedly, never been great between them.

   His mother's orders to keep Magnus' situation under wraps had also been playing around in his brain as he tried to distract himself with runing his bow and arrows. He was sure that Magnus' comments on Alec trying to test the validity of his condition meant he had overheard at least part of his conversation with his mother. He thought it best to wait and see if Magnus wants to bring up that conversation or not so until then Alec isn't mentioning it, although he did ask Magnus if he wanted Alec in a separate room while he took clients or not, both to offer privacy and to keep Magnus' condition under wraps. Again Alec suspected Magnus knew he was referring to his mother's orders but Alec was going to let Magnus decide on this one, as a leader of the Downworld Alec thought he was probably more knowledgeable of his people's reaction to the news than his mother was. Magnus had decided Alec should wait in his room while clients were in his loft, noting that other Downworlders would be uncomfortable to have a Shadowhunter overseeing the events even if they had been invited there by Magnus, and Alec had agreed, meaning he only came out to monitor Magnus when he was brewing the potions or researching or examing articles for his clients. Admittedly, Alec knew that if something did go wrong while a client was here and suddenly a Shadowhunter came bounding out to help it would probably send the client into shock but he found he could live with that.

   He had perhaps been focusing a little more than he usually would on his arrows but he had to focus on something to avoid looking over to Magnus. His jaw was actually aching a little at the constant lock he was setting it in as he forced a hold over his urge to glance over every few seconds but the temptation was too great to not give in a few times. The act of potion making was fascinating to Alec, he'd never actually seen it happen up close like this and while some of the ingredients were... stomach churning, the reactions they created where... something else. The contents inside the pot glowed silver at one point, illuminating the curves and sharp edges of Magnus' face as he stirred, eyes squinting in concentration and Alec had noticed the small crease that formed between his eyebrows whenever he did. Occasionally the smoke from the pot swirled tightly upwards before slowly expanding outwards one ring at a time, enveloping Magnus in a mist. Or sometimes sparks would jet out from the flames below and Magnus would even bat an eyelash. Each potion was different and had its own smell, the one he'd been making during his phone call filled the loft with the smell of smoke and seaside.

   And then Magnus, entirely separate from the potion, stubbornly kept demanding Alec's attention. He wants to push everything that is calling him to look to one side but it's taken so much room in his mind that there's nowhere he could put it. How he smiled at the reactions of a potion going well, how he was over the top in his eye rolls and shrugs at other reactions the person on the phone couldn't see, how he quirked his right eyebrow and smirked whenever his friend said something particularly noteworthy, how his laugh just ripped out of him, bright and clear and uninhibited in ways that made Alec's insides squirm. He was getting angry with himself, he wasn't supposed to be reacting to any of this but something about Magnus, who Alec wasn't even sure Magnus could do more than tolerate, forced him to face it head on, forced him to register just how appealing he was to Alec.

   So he forced himself to think about other things, about how Magnus' magic seemed stable even by the end of the day. That while Magnus looked vaguely tired, and made a little pale, when he apparated his finished potions to their respective clients and money was materialised in its place, finally moving to clear up his workspace and make his way towards Alec in the kitchen, he seemed fine.

   "You know you don't have to wait for me to be able to eat Alec?" Magnus asked as he made his way over to his cupboards and gave them a once over before waving his hand and materialised a plate of steaming food for himself.

"I don't mind," Alec replied and Magnus made a vague gesture as if to say 'suit yourself'.

"Did you want any?" Magnus asked as he pointed to his plate of food.

Alec shook his head. "No, no it's fine I'll just get myself something."

"Are you satisfied now that'll I'll survive in your absence tomorrow?" Magnus asked and Alec thought he was almost teasing.

"I'm still not entirely comfortable but," He sighed, "We did reach a compromise so I'm trusting you on this one."

   Alec watched as something flickered across Magnus' face, a spasm shot through his jaw before he caught it and in a second he was back to normal, sending Alec a small smile and tilting his head slightly forward in thanks.

"I'll be in my room or my study for the rest of the evening so unless something happens..." He said evenly.

"I'll leave you be," Alec finished for him and watched him turn and leave.

***

Magnus' P.O.V

   Magnus woke, feeling much the same as he had yesterday. His magic was already ready and thrumming through his veins before he'd even really woken up properly. With his clients, he had managed remarkably well and it had filled him with confidence that today should be no different, he had, near the end of the day, began to feel rather nauseous and tired but with his condition and tiring himself by taking clients all day he didn't find that at all unusual. 

   He pulled a pair of pyjama trousers on and threw a loose black robe on, deciding to spare Alec the shock of seeing anything he would most likely deem as truly indecent. He had plans to go out and conjure himself up some breakfast but stopped in his tracks as soon as he opened his door. The strong smell of coffee and the sounds of food cooking hit him rather instantly, the rarity of these sensations so early in the morning and not made by his own hand surprising him enough to call for a pause.

   As he made his way into the kitchen he immediately found Alec Lightwood with his back to him, flipping something in a pan and smiling at the cats that had jumped up on the counter beside him to watch. 

"I didn't know Shadowhunters could cook," Magnus announced and watched with mild glee as Alec jerked slightly in surprise, turning around with his mouth open ready to respond, he seemed to choke on them as soon as he turned fully round. Looking at Magnus, Magnus watched as a stark blush crawled up Alec's neck and onto his cheeks that contrasted disturbingly well with his white t-shirt before clearing his throat and speaking, voice mildly strained but having no remaining hint of sleep,

"Sorry, morning, I-."

Magnus took pity and stopped him in his tracks, "No need to look so worried Alec. I'm just surprised and mildly impressed," He said, now peering past Alec at the pancakes already stacked on a plate, "You are allowed to use my kitchen while you're here, no need to look like a deer caught in the headlights."

He watched in bemusement as Alec huffed out a small, definitely forced, laugh, "Right. I, um-, uh- Did you want any? Coffee I mean? and pancakes."

"If you're offering," Magnus shrugged, sidling on to a stool and waiting as Alec finished cooking and slide three pancakes on a plate for Magnus while he took the rest and placed a selection of syrups out between them, "You seem to know your way around my kitchen as well as I do," He observed and Alec made an awkward attempt at a laugh again and Magnus added, "You didn't tell me," and at Alec's raised eyebrows he elaborated, "I didn't know Shadowhunters could cook."

"We do, some of us," Alec explained, still rather awkward, the blush apparently permanently stained on his cheeks in ways Magnus decided not to focus on too much, "I don't. Much. Just the basics, the rest I'm not great at but small breakfast foods I have down."

"I distinctly remember Isabelle apparently not being able to cook, a family trait?" He asked and this time Alec's chuckle seemed genuine.

"Izzy is... she's a hazard. I'm not great but I'd like to imagine I can still produce something edible."

"Hm," Magnus offered as a reply. 

"How is your client list for today?" Alec asked.

"Mostly the same as yesterday, I should be finished shortly after you leave for patrol."

"Good," Alec nodded, "Good."

   The day went on in largely the same as before, Magnus had purposely filled the day with clients to avoid any more uncomfortable conversations with Alec that Magnus went through constantly fearing that they would fall silent or become stilted and awkward, verging on painful. The steady stream of clients who had to sit in on Magnus' actions for their requests was also larger so Alec had been relegated for most of the day to his room. By the time Alec was preparing to leave however Magnus only had one or two clients left to see and was stood on the phone to Ragnor and over a boiling potion, an almost exact parody of yesterday afternoon.

"I can't believe this," Ragnor grumbled through the phone.

"Just yesterday you were swearing against his name and his family and now your mad that he's going?" Magnus asked.

"If he _has_ to be there then he should be there to do his job, not slack on his duties and run around with his friends."

"He's not slacking his duties, I told him to go. And they're his family and fellow Shadowhunters, it's not like he's going out for a night on the town."

"Ah, I forgot, that's just you who does that these days."

"I assure you my dear little cabbage that it's more than just me who enjoys going out in the evening, more that's you who thinks everyone should enjoy a quiet night in."

"A quiet night in wouldn't kill you, Magnus," Ragnor countered and Magnus huffed,

"In this company it might," He muttered and smiled at Ragnor's laugh through the phone.

"Uh... Magnus," Magnus looked up and found Alec standing awkwardly by the door of his study and Magnus raised an eyebrow and as Alec opened his mouth Ragnor spoke in his ear, effectively drowning out whatever Alec had to say, "Shh," Magnus replied to Ragnor and could hear his cry,

"I can believe it. I'm being interrupted, and for a Shadowhunter-" Magnus waved a hand to silence the call and looked up to Alec who was stood now rather sheepish in the door.

"Yes?" Magnus asked.

"Jace and Izzy are here so..."

"So, you've got to go, don't worry, I have your number if I need you," Magnus smiled, "Well? Go and have a shadowhunting time and try not to trail too much ichor went you let yourself back in." Magnus watched as Alec's lips quirked upwards a little before he seemed to catch himself and simply nodded in goodbye.

   Magnus watched him go, ignoring the calls for his attention from Ragnor that were undoubtedly happening down the phone so he tore his eyes away and waved a hand back over the phone and spoke, trailing his eyes down the last remaining client of the day, "Now that's out of the way..."

***

Alec's P.O.V

   It was a relief to be outside in the fresh air. Not that he found Magnus' company stifling but he did feel almost constantly on edge about what he would say or do, Izzy said he just needed longer to adjust and he supposed she was half right but if Magnus wears that robe every morning Alec might just have a problem on his hands.

   It's thankfully a quiet night in terms of demonic activity or rogue Downworlders and he's able to have a proper conversation with his siblings.

"So are you enjoying it? Despite the awkwardness," Izzy asks as they round the corner, not far from the Hunter's Moon.

"Enjoying it? I'm there on assignment," Alec replies.

"Yeah but you have to have enjoyed some of it so far?"

"His cats are nice."

"Is that supposed to be a euphemism for something?" Jace asks, earning him a sharp jab for Izzy and scathing look from Alec, "Joking! I was joking, jeez, calm down."

"I know you guys aren't exactly best friends yet but are you getting on?" Izzy asks, ignoring Jace.

"Mostly," Alec replied and went Izzy repeats his words questioningly he goes on, "I'm not sure he trusts me."

"Give him time Alec," Izzy smiles reassuringly and the set off to patrol the area.

    Things were all going reasonably well, it was around half one in the morning and they'd had one shax demon encounter that was relatively easy to get rid of. That was until his phone went off. He glanced down and saw Catarina Loss' name flashing brightly up at him and his entire stomach immediately felt like it was being squeezed, apprehension filling his body as he answered,

"Catarina?"

"You need to get here now."

His expression must have said it all. Izzy and Jace had stopped in there tracks watching him with worry and Alec swallowed before replying, "I'll be right there."

***

   He'd never moved faster in his life, Jace quickly following at his heels, Izzy finishing the patrol by herself before covering for them at the Institute. He was taking two steps at a time as he ran up the stairs to Magnus' loft. Stupid, so _stupid_ , to go out on patrol when he knows Magnus' magic could have gone the other way at any time.

   The front door was already open when they finally reached it, the entire living room smelling like someone had just extinguished a bonfire in it. The room was almost entirely pitch black with only a few street lights able to stream some light through the blinds. This part of the loft at least appeared intact but the closer Alec moved towards the study, where he somehow just knew he would find Magnus, the smell of ash and smoke intensified.

   When he finally gets inside it looks like a bomb has exploded on one side of the room. The bookcase that held various scrolls, and books, and jars of potions and ingredients, and artefacts has split right down the middle, cracking all the way through to the walls and leading to the figure of Magnus who lay almost crushed into it. A giant black shape against the wall outlines his body against the splintered wood. 

   Alec can practically _see_ his magic. It's still fritzing from his body is sporadic sparks and shots and the closer Alec steps the more he's sure that Magnus' body is actually humming. He can feel the magic around them like something tangible in the room. Like if he tried hard enough he could have reached out and grabbed it, bottled it, held it. It was encompassing everything around him, moulding its way around his body, like he was stepping into a separate reality, like the room was made of a different kind of stuff compared to the rest of the world

   He glances over to Catarina who stands at the other side of the room from Magnus with her arms crossed almost protectively around her body and Alec can tell she doesn't feel safe getting any closer, not that she would ever say so.

"Are you-"

"No," She interrupts before he can finish, she looks to Magnus instead, worry and fear etched deeply in her features, "I'm not able to touch him. I get a shook if I even try and reach for him. I think it's my magic being rejected my his."

Alec nods minutely before moving closer to Magnus, bending down slowly as he hears the crack of shrapnel wood chips breaking under his feet, slowly he reaches out to Magnus, his magic buzzes around Alec's skin but it doesn't hurt him and he carefully closes his hands under Magnus' body and lifts him up into his arms. Still moving ever slowly, determined to not disturb him but when Magnus groans at the very first hint of movement, falling further into Alec's hold, Alec realises he's not even unconscious.

   Ignoring the look Jace gives him on the way out, Alec carries Magnus to his bedroom, closely followed by Jace and Catarina. He lays him down on the bed as best he can. As soon as Magnus is down Alec keeps moving, he moves down to his shoes and cautiously begins untying them one by one before slipping them out and setting them by the bed. He can feel the pairs of eyes on him but he's moving on instinct now and he doesn't think he could stop himself even if he wanted to. He moves to Magnus' shoulders and takes a hold of the now charred jacket when Catarina speaks,

"Be careful with that, Magnus will probably want to save it later."

He knows it probably sounds like a stupid request, in fact, he thinks it's rather unimportant right now in the grand scheme of the situation, but he nods in reply as if it were an actual order and begins to steadily peel the jacket off of Magnus' back, Jace coming along to help keep Magnus upright to allow the movement. When he finally has it off he drapes it immediately over the chair opposite Magnus' bed and when he turns to Catarina, she's glaring at him.

"Where the hell were you?" She seethes, voice laced with venom and eyes screaming murder.

"He was out on patrol with me," Jace states protectively, arms crossed and coming up to stand beside Alec.

"Why the hell were you on patrol? You were supposed to be here doing your job," She glares, ignoring Jace entirely to glare at Alec.

"He was doing his job," Jace spits aggressively.

Still ignoring him she continues, "When we went to the Institute for help I'll admit my hopes weren't terribly high but I trusted that Shadowhunters would take our concerns seriously and yet here we are, Magnus is hurt and his client is God knows where and it's all down to you-"

"Cat," A voice croaks out and they're all stunned to turn to see Magnus, head barely tilted in their direction but his eyes, his _eyes_ , are open. Squinting and weak they're open, his warlock mark staring right at Alec and Alec has to shut down on his emotions as soon as he meets them.

"Magnus," Catarina breathes, pushing past Alec to move closer to her friend but halting immediately upon seeing the pained expression it flashes across his face as she steps too close, "What do you need?"

"Resting potion," He all but whispers but Catarina seems to understand because she nods steadily and is immediately walking out. As soon as she's gone Magnus turns away from them again, wincing as he does so, closing his eyes and exhaling deeply. Alec makes eye contact with Jace who for once in his life looks out of place,

"Do you need me for anything?" He asks Alec.

"Water," Alec instructs, "Get him a glass of water."

***

Magnus' P.O.V

   When Alec had lifted him Magnus was only barely conscious but suddenly all he could feel was leather and cotton, all he could see was black, all he could feel was strong hands gripping his body, all he could smell was sweat and dirt and blood and smoke and he didn't know if that was Alec or if it was just him.

   He hadn't been aware of who had taken his boots or his jacket off, only aware of the feeling of relief it gave him to sink deeper into his mattress, but he supposed he should have guessed this also to be Alec, who else would surprise him so.

   Alec was surprising him again. As soon as he'd sent Jace away so was he, but only for a moment for he was back again and hesitating. Magnus chanced a look at him, he knew his glamour was down, wanted more than anything to blind Alec to the sight of them, he hadn't earned that yet, but he just didn't have the power. Well, he did. He'd never felt more filled with magic in his life. It was brimming at the surface and spilling overboard all around him but he had no way to harness his own power, he was too shattered, too exhausted. Alec was stood towering above him, dripping cloth in one hand and a towel in the other, Magnus wished he would just move. And as if by magic or mind reading, he did. He hunched down next to Magnus bed, pausing again like he forgot what he'd planned on doing next before he was moving again. Slow but deliberate he reached a hand out were Magnus' own lay, clenched and cramped against the bedsheets. Alec's eyes were imploring, seeking consent that Magnus found himself nodding too without any awareness of what would come next. He thought he imagined Alec's hands shaking as he took Magnus' own but no sooner had the thought entered his head was it being replaced.

   Alec's hands were callous. Long dexterous fingers held Magnus lightly, stretching out his own fingers and slowly pulling each of his rings from each finger, the sudden loss of the metal sweat-stuck to his now obviously overheated and clammy hands was something Magnus wasn't a fan of but almost instantly Alec was then there with the wet facecloth. Sliding it along and around Magnus' hand, massaging lightly until Magnus felt he had feeling again. Alec moved to the other hand and did the same, then he moved up to Magnus' forehead, shaking hands, again that Magnus was sure were a result of a fever dream, skimmed over his hair, brushing it back and away from his burning skin, the cool cloth the greatest relief from the heat as Alec wiped away all feeling of discomfort. He dried Magnus' hands and face off again with the towel then took the removed rings and lay them by his bedside. 

  Alec wouldn't look at him so Magnus settled for solely looking at Alec. Magnus wasn't sure if Alec was in the trance or if he was. Alec's movements were so methodical, so gentle, so barely there and unexpected it couldn't be natural, it was so opposite from the stoic and socially lacking Shadowhunter he was aware of, it was the other Alec - the one who held his hand and cooed to his cats, the one who couldn't be real. 

   Magnus hadn't been aware of there audience before he had finally been able to tear his gaze away from Alec to Jace, who stood in the doorway watching his brother with a sad expression Magnus wouldn't decipher before catching Magnus' own eye and finally stepping in.

"Got the water," He said.

"Thanks," Alec said, taking it and immediately offering it to Magnus who refused it. He doesn't think he could physically or emotionally handling taking something from Alec right now.

"Potions ready," Cat was suddenly announcing as she came in, handing the small cup to Alec who passed it gingerly to Magnus, "You're lucky I'm a healer by nature."

Magnus didn't take time to muster a response, simply took the potion like a shot and felt it spread right through him. 

"What did you just give him?" Jace was asking.

"It's a potion created for younger warlocks, who don't know they're limits yet or are more susceptible to surpassing them. It's a small shot of instant rejuvenation, not of magic but your own body. It doesn't save lives but it does aid the weak in an easier healing before they can learn to control it," Cat explains quietly, watching Magnus carefully and Magnus offers her a smile before he moves to sit up slightly higher against his pillows.

"Why don't you use them all the time then?"

"They make magic restorations take longer and besides, they aren't a fail-safe and we don't want warlocks thinking there's an easy fix to their recklessness," Cat elaborates, still watching Magnus, "Magnus hadn't taken one since the 1800s, until, of course, Mr Lightwood decided to take a break from his duties."

Magnus says "Cat," the exact same time Jace says, "Hey!" and Alec says nothing.

Cat looks to him though and he continues, "This wasn't Alec's fault. It was mine. I told him to go on patrol, the blame lies with me. I was finished with my clients but took a late request, a young vampire with wisdom teeth needed painkillers so I brewed her some but... I- I felt the change happen. Felt my stomach drop ten feet and my vision go blurry. I sparked a little in her presence, that was all. I sent her away before anything happened. She probably thought I was being rude. I blew up before I even heard the wards close her out after she left... I don't remember much of the next ten seconds besides the overwhelming heat of it all."

   Silence hangs in the air among them for a moment before Cat speaks ago, no longer targeting her anger at Alec but clearly holding back from Magnus given his situation, her voice tight and strained, "But why did you call me and not Alec?"

"I trust you."

"But I can't help you, he can. I couldn't even come near you." Magnus avoids mentioning how even her presence opposite him now at a safe distance was making him feel queasy all over again, instead he gritted his teeth and admitted it.

"But I don't trust him."

  Cat closes her eyes in exasperation and he knows she's aware that's the worst thing he could have said, no matter how honest. He knows she knows that that means he has failed to take her advice. Jace Herondale clenches his fists at his sides and his jaw clenches. Alec barely glances his way, but he hadn't been looking at anything in particular anyway and Magnus can't even gauge his reaction to tell if he's angry or not, sad or not, if he cares or not.

"Will you walk me out?" Cat asks instead, looking to Alec who seemed surprised but doesn't object, "I'm done here for the day. I'll be seeing you, Magnus."

"I love you too," He replies and tries not to feel like her smile goodbye seems disappointed.

   That leaves him with Jace Herondale.

   "Look about my brother-"

"I'm going to stop you right there," Magnus cuts in, he's really not ready for the defensive 'respect my brother' speech, he's too tired, "I don't want to hear it."

"If you could just listen to what I have to say-"

"And why would I do that?" Magnus interrupts again, and watches as Jace clenches his jaw, "Because that's what everyone you know does? I've heard stories of the golden boy Jace Herondale. Who hasn't? Best warrior to come out of Idris in years, best soldier in New York and you'd give the rest of the world a run for its money I'm sure but that doesn't mean I have to trust your brother just because you tell me so. I've known him all of three days and I don't trust my own people as easily, let alone a Shadowhunter. So don't demand anything of me, I'm too tired to allow it."

   Magnus isn't entirely sure where all of that just came from, is even less sure if he meant any of it. He's not sure that he won't regret it later on, but like he said, he's just too tired.

  Jace just stares at him, not even in a wide-eyed shocked 'I can't believe you just said that to me' sort of way. He doesn't even look angry, and that gives Magnus pause.

"My brother is worth ten of me," He says simply, and golden-haired, golden-eyed, golden boy Jace Herondale may just have left him speechless. He leaves without another word and without another glance. He can hear him say goodbye to his brother. Can hear the sound of a door closing but no footsteps making a move for either Alec's room or Magnus' and Magnus wonders what Alec Lightwood will decide.

 _"My brother is worth ten of me."_  

   Magnus found himself waiting for Alec to come back to him, actually hoping he would reappear. He _didn't_ trust Alec, and his brother's words hadn't changed that. But Magnus hadn't exactly given Alec the chance to do so, he'd said he would, said he'd follow Cat's advice and give him the opportunity to prove Magnus wrong but instead he'd gone against his word at every turn. And in turn, Alec Lightwood had proven Magnus wrong at every turn, about a number of things. And for all the confusion he gave Magnus, and despite the polar opposite sides of his personality that, quite frankly, deeply disturbed Magnus for the emotions they pulled from somewhere inside him, Magnus decided Alec Lightwood deserved a real chance. Magnus decided he owed that to him.

  And maybe, just maybe, Alec Lightwood would surprise him just one more time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (the update is a little late but that's not important and it's a longer chapter so the two cancel each other out anyway)  
> Okay so they aren't friends yet (operative word being 'yet'!) but from now on we see a shift in their relationship, they're constantly moving towards trust here people. 
> 
> Next chapter is a bit of fluff because I just want to and also because I'll be back at school from Easter holidays and fluff is less stressful to write so I think it'll be nice to ease me back in.
> 
> Hope you all liked the new chapter! <3 you can find me on tumblr @fangirlbusiness


	5. Chapter Five - For Real This Time

Magnus' P.O.V

   Alec came back.

   Magnus had waited with bated breath, eyes planted securely on the bedroom door, ears alert and ready to catch even the slightest sound of Alec's movement. And he had to admit he felt anxious like he would only be able to breathe once Alec had returned, which he did because of course, he would.

   And there he was. Walking into Magnus' room only to end up stopping short of the bed, standing to stare at Magnus, face unreadable. He did look terrible though, his hair was a mess, stuck to his face with sweat, his clothes, besides being smeared with ichor and dirt from the patrol, seemed to be slightly burnt in places and stank of smoke and upon closer inspection Magnus found him to be covered in small burn marks.

   "Why are you burnt?" He asked, his voice softer than he'd wanted and he wasn't sure if it was because he was still weak or if it was because of something else entirely.

    Alec seemed surprised by the question, blinking out of an apparent daze, looking down at his hands and turning them over to survey the small pinprick marks marring his skin. "Oh," He said like he hadn't realised they were there until this moment, "Um- I guess it was just a reaction to your magic."

"My magic?"

Alec looks almost bashful all of a sudden, jaw clenching just a moment before he replies, "Uh- yeah, from when- when I carried you."

"When you carried me," Magnus repeats quietly, almost to himself, as he stares intently at Alec, who looks oh-so incredibly awkward.

"Yeah," He answers slowly, "Your magic was sort of sparking."

Magnus tore his eyes from Alec's and down to the red marks visible on Alec's pale skin and asked, surprisingly fearful, "Did it hurt?"

Alec looked like he was preparing himself for the answer more than he was Magnus. "No."

   Magnus wasn't sure why that answer didn't make him feel any better. He hadn't wanted it to hurt so the 'no' should have been a relief. But it had been undermined. Undermined by the fact that Magnus just didn't believe Alec. It sounded honest but it certainly didn't look like it and Magnus had never known what to do with receiving half-truths, he was far too used to giving them.

"I'm sure you're tired," Magnus said instead, too tired and too guilty and too lost to go on, "You should sleep, and so should I."

Alec nodded minutely, making his way back to the door before looking like he had suddenly remembered something and turned and said, "Goodnight Magnus."

"Goodnight Alec."

  
* _"Let me just get this right here. You want me to remove the curse I placed on this box, at your request, last week because...?" Magnus asked, exasperation and mild annoyance lacing his voice as he stared at the blond male vampire stood in front him who at least had the decency to look uncomfortable._

_"I changed my mind... it was probably a little too harsh_ anyway _," He shrugged, glancing nervously at everywhere but Magnus._

_"Too harsh for what? You told me it was a safety measure to ward people off from the contents," Magnus squinted suspiciously, looking down to the simple wooden box on his desk._

_"It, ah-," The vampire said, his hand moving up over his mouth, massaging over where Magnus could guess his fangs were hidden, a nervous tick of most new vampires Magnus had discovered. "My girlfriend... she, uh-, she-"_

_"No. No. Don't even think about finishing that sentence," Magnus halted. "You wanted me to curse your girlfriend? Is the art of communication a lost concept for you? 'Protective safety measure' indeed," Magnus scoffed, rather disgusted with the man in front of him who visibly swallowed at Magnus' harsh glare and instead focused on the box on the table._

_"Can you, uh-, can you still remove it?"_

_"I can," Magnus affirmed. "For triple the price."_

_"Triple!" The man exclaimed._

_"I think that's more than enough to buy my silence, unless, of course, you want your girlfriend to find out about your original intentions," Magnus retorted and found a sense of glee at the fear that streaked across the man's face before his lips pursed, his tongue pushing upwards and forwards in his mouth, once again likely over his concealed fangs before he nodded._

_"Fine. Triple it is."_

_Magnus decided to not dignify him with a response. Turning instead to the box in front of him, it was an unremarkable piece of craftsmanship, plain and simple, a small metal clasp over the lid to keep it shut, the corners holding it up were scuffed and close to splintering, it was something a middle schooler made in their first week of construction._

_Now that the room had fallen silent Magnus almost felt alone. Alone with the box and with his magic and he waved a hand to ignite the latter. The blue flames licking in between his fingers and Magnus let them rest there as he considered the box._

_Alec wouldn't approve. Neither would Cat or Ragnor for that matter, as well as Raphael if he knew the full extent of Magnus' condition. This was his last client of the day, the last few dragging on a little longer than he initially anticipated, and he was tired. He could feel the lull in his magic, the call to sleep and charge, the need to sit down and make a cup of something warm to hold in his hands. They would all want him to stop. The box could be saved for the morning. He was already charging triple, why not inconvenience the boy further by making him wait? Breaking curses always took more energy than creating them after all._

_Magnus pushed that all aside. He needed this. He needed one day to go right. After the past two, with his magic exploding here there and everywhere and never feeling 'his' anymore... he needed to know he could still use it. Could still make it the day. That it was still his own to control. A day where he'd spent the entire time in his own home, not returning from or going to the Institute but spending the day like he always would. In his office, without Alec Lightwood hidden in the side room like he was just waiting for Magnus to mess up, helping people._

_And when the first drop of his magic was placed into the box to break the curse, he felt fine. He really did. And then, out of nowhere, the wave of nausea hit. And for a split second Magnus couldn't see, could only feel his spare hand gripping the table, nails breaking into the polished surface of the wood, and the sensation of a hole being opened up in the palm of his hand and when his sight came back to him his magic was actually pouring out of him._

_Panic. That was all he felt. Panic and fear. He couldn't pull it back, couldn't stop, couldn't close the tunnel in his hand, couldn't look away, couldn't move, couldn't breathe. He tried clenching his hand into a fist, tried pulling back, tried everything, but it was like his magic was locked in place, being magnetically pulled into place by someone, or something, else that was now in control of his body and all the power that it held._

_He felt possessed._

_His head was spinning. Nearly everything around him was a mass blur, even his own magic was indistinguishable to him apart from its blue hue. His magic was spilling out and away from the box and over his desk, it was far more magic than the spell needed. It was far more magic than anything needed. The magic was smoking, tumbling across and over the table and he could smell the beginning of something burning before he realised that was him. His hand was beginning to spark, shooting out in every which way and he fought to rein it all back in. It wasn't even magic pouring out of him so much as it was simply just pure unadulterated power, a power that he tried to sometimes forget he contained._

_And then he remembered the vampire._

_"Go," He said. It was all he could manage. Forcing his head up and focusing in on the man. He'd backed up to the door, one hand already placed on the handle ready to flee, the raw fear in his eyes clear as day._

_"Wha-," The man began and Magnus' glamour dropped, Magnus wished he could say it was entirely intentional._

_"Go," He repeated and in a blur, the man was gone, the speed of his departure slamming a draft straight into Magnus, winding him._

_At this point, the room was shaking. Bottles were falling from shelves and smashing at his feet, releasing either miscellaneous ingredients or letting loose even more swirls of smoke and potions previously concocted that made an even more dangerous combination. Through his haze, he realised he had essentially created a bomb. The combination of his out of control, seemingly endless, magic, scattered potion ingredients, and an assortment of other concoctions would never end in anything less than a travesty and he didn't doubt that the blast it made would impact more than half of Brooklyn. Which he couldn't let happen, not for the life of him._

_He managed to push his other hand up to restrain the one pouring out his magic. It hurt like hell. The burn at the skin on skin contact felt like he was being branded by his own hand but he couldn't stop, he needed to pull it all back. Gritting his teeth together he reined himself back in, like trying to pull a boulder back up an impossible hill._

_It wasn't often that Magnus felt proud of his parentage, in fact, he never felt proud of his parentage and it was probably one of the reasons his magic was spilling out to no end right now. But, it was also the reason he was able to force it all back._ _The grit of his teeth didn't take long to give way to a scream, silent to his ears as he blocked out everything that wasn't his magic but somehow he knew would be piercing to anyone who could hear. Although of course no one would, he was alone._

_If he'd thought the burn from his hand was pain then this was something else entirely. He'd never registered the amount of magic he was capable of containing, just basked in the knowledge that whenever he called on it, it was there, and if he was rarely exhausted and took minimal time to recover then he would count himself lucky. But now he was forced to feel it. To feel the leeching, sucking, power that sank into his skin and stabbed through his bones, filling a capacity inside himself he was sure could never be filled but somehow, it was._

_The blue faded from the room, held in his body and for a second he thought it was over before his hands started trembling. He could tell it was coming, or at least something was. The force of it brewing somewhere deep within, rising exponentially before the inevitable destruction. He didn't know how he knew, he just did and he used what little he could to reach his phone before everything around him disappeared into the fire and smoke._

_He didn't know how long it'd been. The world was very dark and he wasn't sure if it was because his eyes were closed or if the world around him had merely ceased. He wasn't aware of much, he registered very little. The pain, of course, he could feel. The feeling like his entire body had been ripped and clawed from the insides, trying to escape, still trying to. He could feel the sparks, smell the smoke, feel the ash laying on his body. But apart from that, he was certain of nothing. At one point someone or something had approached and all his brain could scream was 'Danger' that never really seemed to go away, just fade a little._

_And then there was nothing for a long time. Nothing... Until there was something._

_A pair of hands. Holding him. Warm, callous, and careful. They didn't hurt, somehow he knew they wouldn't. They carried him, placing him into something solid and safe. Everything_ _was still oh so very dark and in a state of delirium he wondered if this could be death, carrying him to heaven... or wherever it was he would be going._ *

   Magnus didn't like when his dreams became memories, or more accurately when his memories became dreams.

   His eyes flickered open, light was seeping in through his curtains, golden and warm, spilling across his room. He moved his head around minutely, his rings, glinting in the warm morning rays, were in a neat pile by the side of his bed and Magnus ignored the urge to remember each and every sensation of the memory they arose and pulled his gaze elsewhere. There was a glass of water on his bedside table and he immediately became aware of the dryness of his mouth.

   The moment he made a move to sit up a low guttural moan slipped from his mouth and he had to pause for a moment to catch his breath, ignoring his shaking arms as they weakly held him in place, before he made an effort to sit up again. This time he managed to hold off the groan until he finally fell back into the pillows propped up behind him. He chanced a sideways glance at the glass before reaching out to grab it, his arm shaking the entire time, gripping it as tightly as he could manage, despite the pain it shot up to his head, and gritting his teeth in frustration as water spilled over the edges as he tried to pull it back towards him, only spilling it more and gave up, letting it rest in his hands in his lap. 

   He couldn't revel in his misery for long though as almost as soon after there was a knock at his door and Alec Lightwood's head was popping in through before the rest of his frame slide into Magnus' room. He looked ready to say something but swallowed his words, glancing instead between the spilt water and Magnus before making his way forwards and picking it up and gingerly sitting on the very edge of Magnus' bed.

"Here," He said, voice cracking ever so slightly and barely a whisper for just a second, "Let me." His face was entirely open with no guile whatsoever to be found, no matter how hard Magnus sought for it. He didn't do anything, didn't even reach for the glass until Magnus nodded. 

   His hands weren't soft, as Magnus had already discovered. They were the callous hands of an archer, that held none of the smoothness that Magnus was used to. And yet, you could tell. You could tell his intentions were to _be_ soft. And gentle and soothing, and maybe even reverent. The brush of their fingers as Magnus handed him the glass was enough to heighten his heart rate, that was of course if the look in Alec's eyes hadn't done so already. He moved slowly, his own jaw clenching as he held Magnus', who found an almost desperate desire to lean into it, which was, of course, mad. And entirely inappropriate. He tilted Magnus' head up just a little and just enough before he moved the cool glass to his lips and carefully let Magnus drink. He didn't move until Magnus had drunk it all, what little there was left after Magnus had spilt half the contents. 

   When he was done Alec moved the glass back to the table and once again looked ready to say something when Magnus noticed his hands. Really noticed them.

"No iratze?" He asked, voice just as quiet as Alec's had been although Magnus could at least blame his own fatigue, it wasn't as if he was affected by anything else. The burn marks covering Alec's hands were still there, muted and red scattered across his skin.

"Not yet, no," Alec replied, like they didn't even matter, like they probably didn't still sting.

"Here," Magnus said. It was far too early in the morning for him to put up all of his defences against Alec Lightwood and besides, the memories of Alec's actions, no matter how much Magnus pushed them to the side, were still too fresh in his mind to allow him to be rough with him. Instead, Magnus was ready to echo Alec's own words as he slowly reached out his own hands to cup Alec's, watching his face closely for any signs that he was uncomfortable. He didn't find any such looks, only more unreadable openness that Magnus found too foreign to decipher. "Let me," He finished and somehow, without any fear or worry that it wouldn't work, his magic came to life in his palm. Soft and glowing, illuminating Alec's pale face. Magnus waited still, waited to see if Alec would object or would question Magnus' magic. When he said nothing, Magnus soothed his magic over Alec's hands. Covering them with his own as he pressed the magic into them, sinking them into his wounds and he watched them one by one cause the scars to fade into nothing. 

   It was probably a bad idea to not take his hands away as soon as Alec's were healed but, for some reason, Magnus couldn't find the will to do so despite the fact he knew it could only be bad for him. 

   Alec decided for him, pulling his hands away slowly back into his own lap, glancing back to the door for a second and Magnus took the chance to pull back his own hands and form some sort of barrier to protect him from the softness that seemed to be emanating from the man sat in front of him.

"Thank you," Alec said at last, clearing his throat to try and make his voice come out firmer and not entirely succeeding.

"I suppose that's the end of me receiving clients," Magnus said, trying for humour, suddenly desperate to reverse whatever seemed to hum in the air between them.

Alec didn't laugh though, didn't quirk a smile, simply squinted in confusion, head tilted slightly and Magnus made a point to not be endeared. "End of my patrols you mean," He stated.

"Why would you end your patrols if it was _my_ client taking and _my_ magic that caused this?" Magnus countered, equally if not more confused than Alec looked.

"Last night was my fault, Magnus," Alec said, still squinting like it was obvious or like he thought Magnus had a concussion.

" _Your_ fault?" Magnus repeated with sudden incredulity.

"Yes. My fault. I shouldn't have gone on patrol, that was stupid of me. My mother was right in at least one respect, I'm supposed to be here. If I had been here then-, then you wouldn't have even taken that client, or I would have picked up on something off, or I could have tried to help you, or-"

"You couldn't have done anything," Magnus interrupted. He didn't mean it to be cruel, more the opposite, he was simply overcome with the end stop whatever guilt that seemed to be glossing over Alec's entire face as he spoke. 

"We don't know that, but we would have if I had been here," Alec argued, seemingly determined to take the blame.

"And what if you hadn't been able to help me? What if you'd gotten hurt in the process?" Magnus retorted.

"That's in my job description," Alec said simply and Magnus tried to baulk at that notion. He could never understand or get over the Shadowhunter beliefs ingrained in their minds from a young age that carried into adulthood, beliefs that often led to their deaths.

"Well it isn't in this job," Magnus said sternly, staring at Alec firmly until he saw something akin to a smile as Alec nodded and couldn't seem to stop himself from returning it.

   A bashfulness seemed to take over Alec who looked away momentarily. "Um-, breakfast?" He asked.

"If it's the same pancakes as yesterday then I suppose so," Magnus replied, he was being far more friendly than he'd intended to be. And he did intend to be friendlier, he'd just imagined he'd go about it slowly, more carefully. He'd planned on taking baby steps. But instead, somehow, for some reason, Alec had him jumping into the deep end without a second thought. Which Magnus knew could only mean danger ahead, he'd had enough experiences with Shadowhunters to know to never get too close. He'd had enough experiences with people to know how fast they could turn. And given their circumstances, Alec Lightwood, a stranger and a Shadowhunter, with questionable parents and a sometimes standoffish demeanour, should have been a red flag to take things slowly but Magnus couldn't seem to help it. The fight had been all pushed out of him this morning, too drained to be rational and besides, Alec Lightwood felt safe. Maybe he could try again later.

"Uh-," Alec said hesitantly and Magnus imagined he saw a blush bloom high on the rise of his cheekbones, "French toast alright? I kind of already got that ready."

Magnus smiled even though he knew he shouldn't. "I'm sure I'll manage."

***

Alec's P.O.V

   Alec wasn't sure what he was doing. He'd just been doing his job this morning checking in on Magnus but at the same time another part of him just... wanted to check in on Magnus. And Alec didn't know what to do with that. Allowing himself to acknowledge Magnus' attractiveness was one thing, finding him endearing was another, but caring, actually caring, Alec  _wanting_ to care, was entirely new. Alec never allowed himself to care about men before, not in the way a part of him was caring for Magnus. Alec had no experience to speak of but even he knew caring in the way Alec cared already was fast and entirely unprecedented. Nothing could or would happen and letting himself let that care grow or be on display... was not a good idea.

But it was difficult. Difficult because Magnus was _right there_ , sat in his bed with a tray over his lap and eating breakfast, the golden covers of the bed pooling around his waist, his face washed in the sun as it steadily rose in the sky outside the window. Smiling at Alec a little. And Alec just couldn't help himself. Caring just a little bit more.

***

Magnus' P.O.V

   "We've reached the highest compromise I can manage, okay?" Alec declared with what Magnus suspected to be slight theatrics that most certainly didn't have him smiling at the Shadowhunter as he turned away to swing his jacket over his shoulders.

"I fear this entire relationship will be filled with compromises," Magnus smirked as Alec turned back to face him, almost looking bemusedly at Magnus, who tried not to go straight back to grinning, "If your going to be my monitor then you're going to have to agree with me on a few things."

"Or you could just agree with me on a few things," Alec countered pointedly but without any of his initial authoritarian stoicism, in fact, he seemed almost friendly.

   They'd continued to be somewhat friendly throughout the morning and well into the afternoon as they cleared the debris that was Magnus' study. Alec had been insistent on no magic until Magnus had gotten properly checked over at the Institute so for the past few hours they'd been manually clearing glass shards and separating strewn potion supplies across the floor. Yet, their work had been stilted more often than not. Magnus had kept on noticing Alec's puzzled and intrigued expressions as he'd sorted supplies or moved miscellaneous books. He'd tried to ignore it. The strangeness of the morning had held deep in his mind and caused him enough sense of caution to want to draw back just a little, but after the sixth or seventh glance the scholar in him just couldn't hold off and they'd spent the better half of the day tiptoeing around the room with Magnus reaching around Alec's arms to explain whatever it was that he was holding. 

   They talked over the different ways of acquiring certain ingredients, vampire hair seemed to particularly amuse Alec, and Magnus was proud enough to recognise that Alec had appeared mildly impressed upon realising the book he'd been holding had been written by Magnus himself.

_"So you're a researcher?" Alec had asked, quirking an eyebrow over his shoulder, hazel eyes glinting almost amused and Magnus rolled his eyes, snatching the book from his hands and ignored how Alec's smiled widened._

_"Researcher, scholar, mentor, investigator... genius," He smirked, "However you wish to class me is fine."_

_"Humble," Alec nodded sarcastically and Magnus might have almost missed the small fond(?) smile that was gone as soon as Alec had turned his attention away._

 And Magnus discovered he welcomed the interest Alec displayed and rationalised it all as being put down to how it had been months, years even since he'd been able to discuss his work at length. Everyone he knew or ever met already knew the in's and out's of his profession, either through their own experience or through his own reputation among the community. But not Alec, Alec was new to everything, he may be the next in line to run the New York Institute but Magnus was realising rather unsurprisingly that Alec's Downworlder education had been very narrowed. And, while the operations of a warlock's everyday clients weren't the top bill of importance to the training of Shadowhunters Alec seemed keen to learn and Magnus found he was equally eager to teach him.

_"And as for vampire fangs I-," Magnus rambled before catching a hold of himself, arms pausing mid hand gesture as he quickly cleared his throat and brought them back down again._

_"What?" Alec asked, smiling fading to a look of worry that Magnus tried to avoid, looking away, focusing on the mess around him, "Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?" And then he was pushing himself off the desk, where he'd been leaning and watching Magnus, and took two clear strides to reach him. "You probably should take a rest. Given last night. I-, I can finish in here until we have to go."_

_"No, no," Magnus said, stepping away from Alec before he could reach out to offer support. "I just realised how long I'd been talking," He joked, forcing a laugh that came across more anxious than he wanted, "Usually I don't miss the opportunity but... given the subject matter. I wouldn't want to bore you any longer. I'm sure your head is screaming to end my tirade on vampire fangs."_

_And then there was a confused look again, that genuinely confused, head tilting five degrees in one direction, eye squinting look that shouldn't be charming. "Magnus," He said simply before coming to a complete stop. Magnus watched how one of his fists curled helplessly by his side, his nails digging into his own palm. Looking away from Magnus for a second before coming right back and Alec too seemed to be making an effort to appear casual. "I live with Jace as a brother, no one could ever talk to much," he said, trying at a teasing smile which Magnus made an attempt to return but Alec seemed to pick up on its lack of sincerity strangely easily for a man who less than a week ago didn't know Magnus at all. "I'd like to hear more stories," He said instead and Magnus could tell it was honest and that both helped and didn't help all at the same time. But Magnus ignored his own conflict for another time._

_Heaving a dramatic sigh that had Alec's eyes crinkling in ways Magnus tried to enjoy, Magnus started again, "Alright, alright. If you insist."_

   "So we'll go and see Isabelle for her verdict and then?" Magnus asked, walking past Alec who held the door open for him.

"Then, if all goes well, we visit the leader of the New York Vampire Clan and then the leader of the New York Wolf Pack. We're going to need to clear the issue of your last client more your magic went off last night, plus I think, considering the risks of your combustions, the Downworlder leaders should be made aware of your condition."

"And here I thought I would be kept under wraps," Magnus remarked, once again making more and more obvious references to Alec's conversation with his mother, but to his credit, Alec didn't seem to mention that small fact, only answering Magnus' points.

"I figured you'd want to keep things discretionary right now in order to keep your business going, at least as long as your magic is mostly under control which it should be with my supervision from now on. Not to mention your position as High Warlock... but I do also believe that something as important as this should be shared with other leaders, at the least to just warn them of Valentines' actions among their community."

"And I agree, although I'm still not sold on you having to give up patrols," Magnus commented and ignored the unimpressed side-eye Alec shoots his way and adds, "besides I'm not sure your mother will agree with your plan."

"She won't have to," Alec says simply, like it's no argument, "It's not up to her anymore," Alec said, sparing another glance to Magnus who this time holds his gaze as Alec continues, "That's up to us."

_Us._  A small word with dangerous and maybe even rebellious connotations depending on how you chose to look at it. It was dangerous to Magnus, dangerous because it seemed to be true. Alec seemed to actually been going above previous and current expectations, Alec seemed to be becoming a partner for Magnus.

   Magnus had put it off for too long - putting his walls back up. The night had exhausted him, the morning was too hazy, and the afternoon to pleasant to be stopped, and now Magnus couldn't seem to be able to do it. He could turn away as often as he liked, could ignore as much as he wanted, but Alec was there, a semi-permanent fixture in his life. A fixture that wasn't all that unappealing to Magnus as he had recently found out. They could be friends he supposed, he tried to convince himself even. Alec Lightwood was, apparently, a good man. A good person. But with Magnus' tendencies to delve too deeply, and with Alec's fine eyes, and soft smiles, and occasionally gentle words catching him off guard, Magnus wondered if he would be able to stop at being friends.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't @ me for taking a month to update - in all seriousness, things happened, school, minor illnesses, family issues and the like  
> BUT  
> I'm entering into my three-week study leave before my final exams before summer so hopefully writing would be more normal for me.  
> As for the story: we're now entering into that sweet sweet friendship which with me always ends up becoming mutual pining sooner rather than later but I plan to drag out that particular phase for a good while... :)


	6. Chapter Six - Solid Partnership

Magnus' P.O.V

   Magnus' disdain for the Institute only grew when, as soon as they stepped through the doors, he watched the lines of Alec's back and all the way up his shoulders tighten, pulling taut and like clockwork winding him back up into a soldier. His jaw clenching to hold his face totally passive to all around him. He also seemed physically incapable of meeting Magnus' eye, planting his own firmly ahead and Magnus was struck with a sense of deja vu to only mere days ago when Alec first escorted Magnus to be examined.

"Hey, Lightwood, hold up!" A male voice yells from down the hallway, causing them both to stop and turn. 

A young male Shadowhunter jogged up to meet them and Alec greeted him rather stiffly, "Raj,"

The man, Raj, exhaled harshly as he caught his breath before speaking plainly, "How come I had to hear from Wayland that you've been taken off the patrol rota?"

"He's Herondale now," Alec replied, rather obviously avoiding the question.

"Yeah, I know, old habits I suppose," Raj conceded before asking again, more pointedly, "Still, care to explain why I had to deal with two shax demons by myself?"

"It's complicated," Alec justified.

"And confidential I bet?" Raj asked, only half joking, and when Alec simply stared in response he continued, "Does that also explain why you haven't been in the Insititute the past few days?" Then, his gaze shifted to Magnus. Surveying over him in a way most suspicious Shadowhunters did, before a smirk painted his face and he gave Alec a sideways glance and nod in Magnus' direction, "I'm guessing he has something to do with it right?"

Magnus drew a cautionary glance in Alec's direction yet Alec's eyes remained firmly planted on Raj, looking terribly unimpressed. Raj appeared unfazed and rolled his eyes good-naturedly and grinned, "You always were by the books Lightwood," this time Alec managed a small smile before Raj added, "Did you need anything by the way?"

"Just looking for Izzy, do you know where we could find her?"

"Uh, Izzy...- yeah, yeah she should be down at the lab. She's been there a lot recently," Raj answered.

"Thanks," Alec replied with a nod and without another word he was turning himself back around, "Magnus?" He asked, finally giving Magnus his attention, with Magnus already returning it. Alec nodded in direction of what was presumably the lab, signalling for Magnus to join him and with Magnus giving one final glance to Raj, who looked back looking cautiously intrigued, Magnus joined him.

   They made it past the ops centre, which garnered them a few curious Shadowhunter's looks, before making their way down three long corridors until Alec abruptly stopped in front of the doors to the lab. He had once again resumed his stoicism as they made their way here and Magnus had decided to not judge him on it in the same way he had when they had first met, instead he placed his judgement on the Institute itself. He found himself quickly gaining a new reason to be angry with the Clave and what they did to their own people, turning someone like Alec who, on his own, and maybe with some open encouragement, was, actually, as Magnus was finding out, an actual caring human being, into a picture perfect form to fit their ideal of a young obedient soldier. A soldier who thought it was in their job description to get hurt and not ask why that was.

   But now Alec looked hesitant, guilty even, and Magnus, while curious, wanted nothing more than to ask what was wrong but Alec beat him to it.

   "I'm sorry...," Alec said suddenly, looking like he was still piecing the following sentence in his brain as he spoke it, "About all of that. Back there. With Raj and- and with the staring," he looked at Magnus then and Magnus tried not to be caught off guard by the look he found there. Genuine worry. "I know that you probably don't appreciate it. Izzy's," He said gesturing to the door's in front of them before repeating, "Izzy's always telling us the effect of things like that can have. So, I'm sorry."

Magnus tried at giving an encouraging smile, "Alec. It's fine, really. I've been around Shadowhunters long enough that they'll have to do a lot more than throwing a few stares in my direction to make me angry." Yet Alec continued to look unconvinced so Magnus did exactly what he'd been trying not to do ever since he'd healed Alec's hands. Magnus reached over a placed a comforting hand on Alec's, that he'd crossed over his chest. The action seemed to draw Alec's attention away from Magnus' words and Magnus could only hope he wasn't picking up on Magnus' own fluttering stupidity. Thankfully, as soon as Magnus spoke again, Alec looked back at him. "You have nothing to be sorry over. Okay?" 

   The only bad thing about holding Alec's gaze was that Magnus was reminded of how nice it was, Alec holding it for a few seconds before nodding, looking too long and not long enough, before tearing his gaze and his hands away, giving Magnus hardly anytime to reprimand himself for his actions, and immediately pushing the doors open and walking straight towards his sister, who sat at the back of the room looking over a computer screen.

   The smile on Isabelle's face as she saw her brother really was something to see and looking over at Alec's own, more subdued but no less happy... well that was something else entirely.

"Alec!" She exclaimed, standing up and swiftly moving to meet her brother halfway as he too made his way towards her. She enveloped him in a hug, sighing happily as she pulled back, still holding him in place by the arms, grinning, "It's good to see you."

"Iz," Alec laughed, extracting his arms slowly from her grip, "I saw you a few days and we spoke on the phone."

Magnus watched as Isabelle simply rolled her eyes, fondly exasperated as Magnus was sure she often was with her brothers, "Oh and this is all after I've become so used to seeing you all day, every day. You're right, I'm just overreacting."

"You know that's not what I meant," Alec said smiling while Isabelle smirked and tried to step away, prompting Alec to reach forward and grab her arm to stop her, and Alec, now serious, added, "For what's it's worth, I missed you too."

Isabelle smothered her smirk with an appeased smile as she patted her brother's arm, "I know," and suddenly all focus was one Magnus as Isabelle turned to widen a smile in his direction and moving to give him a quick hug before pulling back, "Magnus! It's good to see you, even if it did have to be under these circumstances."

"I'll take what I can get to share your company," Magnus winked and Isabelle rolled her eyes fondly.

"Sadly," she said heaving a sigh, "Given the circumstances, the time for pleasantries is over. So if you could take your jacket and shirt off and sit over on the examing table then we can get to business."

"Very straight to the point," Magnus observed, earning him a sympathetic look from Isabelle as she squeezed his hand.

"I know, I just thought it would be better to get this over with as quickly and as painlessly as possible."

"No, no, I understand," Magnus assured, squeezing her hand right back, "I'll get changed."

"Thank you," Isabelle smiled.

   Exposing himself like he was now for the second time was hardly any easier. Of course, Isabelle was a professional and he was more comfortable with Alec than he was a few days ago but still. Even with his friends he was never entirely comfortable, with Raphael he was positively skittish, with Catarina he squirmed, only with Ragnor did he feel least like covering up and that was only due to the fact that Ragnor had been there for Magnus receiving half of the wounds that crossed over his torso. So obviously, sat on an examing table in the middle of the most clinically desperate room, devoid of any warmth beside the people that used it, with said people still best fitting the 'practically unknown' category of acquaintances, Magnus wasn't his most confident.

"Here," Alec said stepping forward to reach out for Magnus' discarded shirt and jacket, pulling Magnus back from the dark hole that was his current thoughts, "I'll move these out of the way for you." 

   Isabelle waited until Alec had set the clothes aside and returned before directing a gentle smile to Magnus and beginning, holding a clipboard containing but what must be Magnus' records. "Why don't we start with a few questions?" Isabelle asked calmly, waiting for Magnus' curt nod to continue, "So you had another magical reaction since we last spoke, correct?"

"Yes," Magnus answered shortly.

"Was it similar to past experiences?"

Magnus hesitated before replying. "Yes and no," He said finally, watching as Isabelle looked up from over her clipboard and Alec's eyebrows furrowed, moving a few steps closer towards them. 

"Could you elaborate on that?" Isabelle asked. 

Heaving a small sigh Magnus tried to find the words, "Well, with the first time with Valentine's men and the second time when Cat tried to examine me it felt... I mean that my magic just burst out of me, which is the same as with this... most recent experience. It's like I just explode, I can-, can _feel_  as if my body is breaking apart as the magic is ripped out of him," Magnus said, gritting his teeth just a little and curling his nails into the table at his sides, moving his gaze up and away from Isabelle and even further from Alec's as he continues tensely. "But this time... I could feel the build up. More intensely than the previous. Then it's just the sudden and growing feeling that _something_ is happening. But this... I-, I knew exactly what was going on. Could tell what would happen and the probable effects on it. And before, I couldn't feel my magic until it was shooting out of me. This time was magic was pouring out of me," He explained, forcing himself to swallow the small lump that had formed at the back of his throat, he was trying to remain nonchalant, he would be damned if he let his dignity be taken from him now. 

"Would that have anything to do with the client you were seeing?" Isabelle asked, voice gentle and verging on something that felt painfully like coddling which Magnus knew wasn't her intention, and Magnus decided it was time to look at her, yet keeping Alec far from even his peripheries. 

"I was seeing a client. I was removing a curse for a young vampire, I probably shouldn't have... should I have waited until morning," Magnus said, smiling weakly and trying to remain light. "It was about halfway through the spell that a wave of nausea hit and then, before I knew it, my magic was tunnelling out of my hand."

"And you couldn't stop it?"

"I had no control over it if that's what you mean. I tried, a number of times, but it wasn't the easiest of things to attempt."

"But you did eventually minimise the damage."

"I couldn't stop my magic, that wasn't in my control at all, it was more that it controlled me at that moment. Using me as a vessel. Or something," Magnus explained, watching Isabelle nod slowly, watching him pensively, not bothering for the moment to write anything down although Magnus was sure he would get an entire page devoted to him later. 

"How?"

"I couldn't pull the magic back into me but I could push myself into it. I just tried to be the only thing that was in range for whatever happened next."

   Magnus knew how that sounded. Shadowhunters may not exactly have grenades but they were still soldiers and they were soldiers that were perhaps the best versed in the act of sacrifice. Jumping on the bomb to cover the blast. Save everyone else and all else be damned if you don't do so at the cost of your own safety. Isabelle seemed to pick up on his allusion, and Alec most likely did too if Magnus had the strength to look over and see for himself, she pursed her lips in the same way Magnus had seen her mother do countless times in his presence when she disapproved of something, which was all the time. Isabelle didn't provide any comment though. Instead, she nodded and began writing things done. Leaving a stretch of silence in her wake as Magnus focused on the sounds of her pencil scratching the paper and avoiding looking in any direction that wasn't the clipboard. He was sure Alec was looking at him, waiting to be looked at back, waiting to gauge Magnus' expression so that he could know what to do next. And while the silence and the urge to fill it and the desire to seek out Alec was there, _strongly_ , Magnus couldn't do it. He didn't know why but a part of him wouldn't let him, screaming that it would only end badly for him. For reasons unknown.

  Eventually, Isabelle looked back up, staring for a second as Magnus wondered what she would do next.

"One more question," She stated and Magnus tried not to let his relief show, he wasn't quite prepared for a heart to heart just yet.

"Ask away."

"How long did it take for you to recharge? Or are we still waiting?"

"I don't know if my magic ever really ran out. I was still sparking off when I was removed from the room and when I woke up my magic was all there," Magnus answered and under Isabelle's sceptical look he added, "I was exhausted, you can believe me there. But my magic wasn't. I was weak and frail and I woke up groggy and unwell but that was just my body and mind. My magic was fine... if a little frazzled." 

Isabelle stared at him for a beat before setting her notes to the side and snapping on a pair of gloves, "Then I suppose it's time for your physical."

   Cool hands pressed into his skin, despite the gloves Isabelle had put on. They smoothed across Magnus' back, never quite touching his stab wound but not exactly ignoring it either. She never pressed hard enough to make it hurt but enough that Magnus could feel it and still hate it. She murmured to herself almost the entire time, incomprehensible words that Magnus couldn't even try to decode for the life of him. Alec followed behind his sister the entire time, peering over her shoulder to make his own examination no doubt. 

   As for Magnus, he just wanted it to be over.

   Eventually, Isabelle rejoined him again and Magnus just had to ask, "So how is it?"

Isabelle smiled at him over her clipboard before finishing her notes and lowering it again, "Do you want the good or the bad news first?"

"Good. Always."

"Your seraph blade runes have healed nicely, a couple new scars but they've healed."

"And the injection?" Magnus asked, sensing the oncoming dread and preparing for it, which must have been painted across his face because Isabelle smiled encouragingly.

"It's okay. Nothing that shouldn't be expected."

"But..."

" _But._ It is a little swollen. The skin is red around the puncturing wound. The surrounding skin is paling pink. And...," Isabelle took a small breath before she looked Magnus dead on and continued, "There does appear to be some kind of vein-like manifestation shooting out from the source of the wound."

"And what would you say that means exactly?"

"I can't say. Your blood doesn't get back until Monday, although they may not show anything as when we first took your blood this symptom wasn't there. I'm guessing, considering the fact that you just had another reaction, the wound has been agitated. And, if my theory is correct, this difference in reaction to your magic on this occasion... would perhaps create different symptoms compared to the last two. I don't think it's anything to worry about, it shouldn't affect you normally, it's just a sign of the serum working its way through your body and it should disappear within a 24-hour time slot."

"So I just wait?" Magnus asked, trying not to sound overly agitated or annoyed. He knew it wasn't Isabelle's fault for his diagnosis. Don't shoot the messenger after all.

"Until I can form a better understanding of your condition, and figure out options for the serum you were given, and maybe even find out Valentine's intentions... that's the best I can offer you right now," Isabelle offered apologetically and Magnus waved a dismissive hand,

"No, no, it's fine. I'm not trying to question your judgement I just-, it's frustrating is all."

"I understand," Isabelle smiled, before glancing at her brother, who Magnus was still avoiding, before looking back to Magnus, "We'll let you get changed. Just step into the bathroom through there until you're ready."

"Thank you."

///

Alec's P.O.V

   Alec should probably be grateful that Magnus hadn't looked his way during the procedure, the looks he would have found from Alec would have given far more away than Alec was willing to give him. Still, he couldn't stamp down on his disappointment at not being able to offer comfort and then the rational, professional side of him also wished Magnus had spared even a glance his way just to allow Alec to survey his emotions, his thought process, how he was feeling. Then at least Alec would have had something to go on in order to plan out his next course of actions or even just how to react in the moment. Instead, he'd been forced to stand behind Izzy and let her take the lead.

///

Magnus' P.O.V

   He didn't mean to eavesdrop it's just... he doesn't think Isabelle realises just how thin these walls are and so he can hear every word of the conversation outside, so well in fact that he might as well be in the room to see how they reacted because the image in his head is just as clear as if he were out there with them.

"Sooooo," Isabelle begins, the teasing tone dripping from her tone as she undoubtedly leans in to nudge at her brother.

"So what?" Alec returns curtly, refusing to entertain his sister's playfulness.

"How are things?"

"Things are alright," Alec replies, obviously avoiding whatever topic his sister is aiming at.

"Don't make me spell it out for you Alec. How are things?"

"With Magnus you mean?" Alec asks and Magnus suddenly becomes aware of himself as he glances sideways to the door despite knowing that there is nothing for him to see. "There's nothing to tell."

"Oh come on Alec," Isabelle says and Magnus can practically see her eye roll. "I know from Jace that you're not exactly friends but.. you seem friendly?"

"Yeah, we're friendly," Alec acquiesces simply.

" _And_?"

"'And' what? We're friendly."

"You can't just be friendly."

"Well, we are," Alec affirms sternly before sighing, "I don't know what you want to hear from me Iz. That we're friends? We aren't. We're probably a bit away from that. Magnus is cautious, given the circumstances. And I get that. I respect that. So yeah... we have a... we have a solid partnership."

"' _Solid partnership_ '?" Isabelle repeats mockingly before chuckling softly and adding sarcastically, "That's _hot_."

"Iz..." Alec says so lowly that Magnus almost misses it and for some reason, it sounds like a warning. Which Isabelle seems to accept because her joking ends there and then.

"I get it, Alec. I just... want you to be happy. And it seems to be like Mag-,"

"Izzy," Alec says again and this time it's definitely a warning and Magnus decides that it's probably time that he comes out again to diffuse whatever this was.

"Magnus!" Isabelle exclaims and Magnus notices how she takes a step back from her brother, who looks incredibly red for some reason. She waits for Magnus to walk over to them before smiling, "What are yous twos plan now?"

"We have to go meet with the leader of the New York Vampire's clan leader," Alec states, suddenly stiff once more.

"Raphael Santiago," Magnus supplies, trying to diffuse whatever atmosphere he stepped into, "An old friend."

"Oh?" Isabelle asks, "I think I've heard Simon mention him once or twice, more to Clary I'd bet."

"Hm," Magnus nods in agreement, flitting his gaze to Alec every few seconds to keep check of him.

"And after?" Isabelle asks.

"To the Hunter's Moon."

"You're both going to a bar?" Isabelle asks mildly incredulous, glancing almost slyly at her brother.

"We're meeting with Luke Garroway," Alec explains rather forcefully and Isabelle nods slowly to her brother as if she's trying to calm a very angry child that just might blow at any time.

"Well, then I won't get in your way. I have to go meet up with Clary for training now anyway," She smiles then says, placing an almost soothing hand on Alec's arm, "I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah," Alec replies quietly, attempting a smile that seems to still appease her sister before both he and Magnus watch her leave.

"And then there were two," Magnus says, trying to lighten Alec's mood. He'd never truly seemed to relax when they arrived at the Institutes, even in his sister's company he still possessed some form of a soldier in how he interacted with the world, and whatever that conversation they'd just had left him, even more, wound up that when they first stepped in. And Magnus was desperate to reverse it.

Alec entertains Magnus' attempts with a small smile which definitely isn't enough to subdue Magnus.

"I suppose we should see your mother before we leave."

"No?" Alec says, and while confusion isn't relaxed, Magnus will take what he can get.

"Don't we need the go-ahead to let other Downworlder leaders know about my... condition?" Magnus asked, watching as Alec squinted at him in further confusion.

"No. Magnus... We-, we don't need her approval on every decision we make with this. If I thought you were any real danger to the mundanes or to other Downworlders or Shadowhunters then... yeah, I'd want to speak to her. But I don't think you are. This is just a precaution to avoid any future possibilities of danger. Unless... you _want_ to see her?"

"Oh no! Lilith no," Magnus answered quickly, mildly offended at the mere suggested but the grin it finally placed on Alec's face seemed worth it, even if it did make Magnus want to curse himself for enjoying.

"So?" Alec said, still smiling, "Should we go to Raphael Santiago or not?"

"We should."

///

"I could kill you right now." 

Okay so maybe Magnus should have called earlier.

   Raphael stood, arms crossed, in front of the fire that was lit in the centre of the room (a bit masochistic for a vampire if you asked Magnus), glaring at Magnus and shooting daggers over Magnus' shoulders at Alec. If a person could exude a message Raphael was swearing at them in an endless stream of Spanish words.

"I only got round to telling Ragnor two days ago," Magnus said.

"And that's supposed to mean something to me?" Raphael asked, still looking murderous, "You get ambushed by Valentine, I have to drag you back to your apartment, then it takes you _four_ more days to tell me that said ambush has left you without control of your magic. And that when you lose control you get hurt?"

"You've summed it up beautifully."

"Dios Magnus!" Raphael exclaims, stepping forward and at least now letting his anger be swept aside for frustration, "You shouldn't joke about this!"

"I know very well that this is not something to joke about Raphael, but what would you like me to do? Hole myself up in my bed and curl up into a ball?" Magnus bites back, causing Raphael to breathe a sigh of frustration as he rakes a hand over his face.

"I want you to treat it a little more seriously."

"And what do you think I'm doing right now? You think I want to go around broadcasting myself to all the Downworlder leaders in New York? Do you think I enjoy the humiliation? Not being able to use my own magic? _Fearing_ my own magic?" 

Magnus watches second by second as Raphael deflates, worry being the only emotion coating his pale face. He hadn't wanted to have an outburst, he'd wanted to keep this calm and civil. He hadn't wanted to give anything away, to Raphael, to Alec, or to himself. But apparently, he doesn't have a filter right now.

"I just wish you had told me," Raphael says simply.

"I wish I had too," Magnus agrees, "But this is the way things have turned out."

"I'm going to want regular updates," Raphael states, "And from you. I don't want to have to find anything else out because of some Shadowhunter," He says gesturing to Alec coldly and Magnus feels the need to step in.

"Alec isn't to be blamed here. I don't want any more hostilities," Magnus ignores the scrutinising look Raphael is giving him and decides to move swiftly past it, "You can take messages from him. Alright?"

"Fine," Raphael agrees, still stiff, "But I don't like this set up."

"You and Ragnor both," Magnus says dismissively.

"That's because Ragnor's not an idiot," Raphael says firmly. "What else do you have to tell me. The Shadowhunter said there was another issue."

"My last client at the time of my... reaction, was a vampire. A blond, male, vampire. Brown eyes, thin nose, skinny."

"That describes a quarter of the vampires here Magnus, I need specifics."

"He was coming for me to undo a curse he'd placed on a box for his girlfriend."

Raphael rolled his eyes and Magnus knew that was information enough, "I know who it is. He'll be dealt with accordingly."

"I just want to make sure nothing concerning my condition is leaked."

"I'll deal with it. He's barely new, he won't be too hard to handle."

"Thank you, oh and could you-,"

"Tell his girlfriend about the curse?" Raphael finished and seeing Magnus' smile returned it and said smirking, "Consider it done."

   They stood and talked for a while after that. Well, Magnus and Raphael talked while Alec stayed silent behind them. They set ground rules for the number of vampires able to schedule a meeting with Magnus on any given day, to try and reduce the amount of magic he would expend each day, and Raphael would be keeping a record of each and every one of them, to save them the trouble of identifying clients if the same unfortunate case as before ever repeated itself. Raphael set his own rules of course and Magnus decided not to question them, besides, calling Raphael after any more episodes seemed reasonable enough.

   They were nearing the goodbyes when suddenly the door at the end of the room opened and in came the latest fledgeling Simon Lewis, already halfway through his sentence by the time the door was closed.

"Hey, Raphael I've forgotten the code for the blood safe, could you maybe-, oh, company," Simon said, coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of Magnus before shifting his gaze and was suddenly exclaiming rather joyfully, "Alec?"

"Dios, Simon, don't you knock?" Raphael scoffed although Magnus wasn't sure he was truly annoyed.

"Sorry," Simon said, immediately drawing his gaze back to Raphael, "I can go back out and wait?"

"No, no," Raphael sighed, "It's fine. I just have a few things to talk to Magnus about privately, then they can go."

"You do?" Magnus asked, confused, as Raphael ignored him.

"You can keep Mr Lightwood occupied I'm sure," and with that, they were dismissed.

   Magnus watched as Alec made eye contact with him, searching for answers, asking if Magnus was okay with this turn of events. Magnus could only smile at him, nodding for Alec to go on with Simon. It took him a moment but eventually, Alec turned, gesturing for Simon to lead the way out of the room.

Magnus turned back to Raphael and raised a questioning eyebrow, "A private discussion?"

Raphael simply shrugged and moved his way closer to Magnus, "So. Alec?"

"What about Alec?" Magnus asked, prepared to bristle already.

Raphael fixed him with his most unimpressed face before scoffing, "Dios... honestly."

"I have honestly no idea what you're trying to ask me," Magnus said blankly, ignoring the look Raphael throws him.

"So you're connection is purely professional? That's what you're trying to tell me?"

"What?" Magnus blurted, ignoring the sensation that he was suddenly being caught out for something when that something being hinted at didn't even exist, wasn't even in the realm of things that _could_ exist, "As opposed to what?"

"Magnus really? Who do you think I am?"

"Alec and I's relationship is purely professional. It's barely even platonic. And I would be grateful if you didn't speculate to the contrary. Lilith, who raised you!"

"I think you'll find that you did," Raphael smirked over the glass of Type O negative that he was pouring for himself.

"Very witty, Raphael, I'm so proud," Magnus scoffed, "Alec and I have a... a solid partnership."

"A ' _solid partnership_ '?" Raphael repeated, sounding annoyingly amused and unconvinced.

"Yes!" Magnus urged, "A very solid... partnership."

Raphael rolled his eyes, "You'd think you'd know yourself by now but... I suppose I should be thankful you seem to be taking so long. Gives me time to prepare."

"To prepare?" Magnus asked, seriously unimpressed.

"Well, I'll have to vet him obviously. Not that I've made much progress today. He can speak can't he?"

"Well, it's not like you gave him many open opportunities did you?" Magnus asked, still on a defensive high which all became inflamed by the knowing look that his words had on Raphael's face. "What?"

Raphael heaved a sigh, setting his glass aside, "Nothing. I think we're done here. You can go. Talk to Luke Garroway then get some rest."

   When they finally left Raphael's study, Magnus found Alec stood leaning against a wall, nodding his head slowly as Simon talked and talked to him about who knows what. As they got closer he could pick up more of the conversation.

"It's like I get the teasing but come on. And Jace was just being a dick about it and-, oh hey Magnus," Simon greeted, then peering around his shoulder Magnus could guess who he was looking for, "You have any idea where-."

"Raphael went to go collect you were your blood," Magnus explained, "You're to go and find him."

"Thanks," He said, "I'll see you around. Alec..."

"I'll mention it to Jace," Alec said simply, earning him another thanks before Simon left.

"What was all that about?" Magnus asked Alec as they both stopped to watch Simon leave.

"Simon and Jace are fighting over relationships," Alec shrugged, pushing himself off the wall as he and Magnus began walking in step with each other to now head to the Hunter's Moon.

"With Clary?" Magnus asked and watched as a small grin fought it's way onto Alec's face as he huffed out a small laugh, giving up his second's lasting battle to try and contain it,

"No, no, uh-... no. It... it's something a little different than that."

"Hm, intriguing," Magnus smiled, "You'll have to tell me everything."

Alec smiled at him this time before turning back to face the cool air, his face was red already. The colour rose up and around his cheeks and all the way up to his ears, bitten red by the cold winds that travelled through the streets. His eyes shone even under the fluorescent lights lining the pavements outside the Hotel Dumort. "Maybe sometime later."

///

   "Well, thanks for letting me know Magnus. I'll be sure to keep this under wraps until you say otherwise," Luke said calmly. 

   They stood together by the bar, which was significantly fuller than usual. Magnus liked that Alec had suggested here as the meeting place between Magnus and the leader of the New York pack. It allowed Magnus to keep things casual, make him look less conspicuous, and it let him actually get out to enjoy his night without either being stuck in his loft or down and freezing by the docks, leaving with his clothes smelling like nothing but Chinese food. 

   The bar was much better. This meant he could drink as many cocktails as he wished, the fruity flavours and pleasant buzz it gave him was the perfect antidote to the running he'd done all day as he traipsed around every clan, pack, and institute in Brooklyn. Coming to the bar meant that he could make pleasant conversation with various acquaintances and keep up his image among them as someone they could approach safely. It also meant he could finally catch up Luke, who he hadn't seen since he became alpha. Plus, he could just enjoy the view.

   The bar was always warm, and after a few drinks, the warmth of the place always seeped into him too. The lights were bright and inviting, golden and dimmed by the time happy hour had drawn to a close. The music was of course always great, thanks to Maia's impeccable taste, and while it meant the place was never quiet, the easy atmosphere never dimmed.

   It seemed he wasn't the only person who relaxed in the bar. He watched as Alec lined up a shot at the pool table as he played with Maia, yet another Downworlder Magnus hadn't known was so close to Alec. But Alec did seem to smile more here, not as much as Magnus wished he would but it was an improvement all the same. He chuckled a little at the things Maia would say and Magnus deeply enjoyed the little smirked that played at the corner of his lips when he made a rather impressive shot.

Yes. The view in the bar was good too. And maybe Magnus was a little bit past tipsy to say so.

"So you and Lightwood huh?" Luke observed, drawing Magnus' attentions back.

"Excuse me?"

"Easy Magnus," Luke smiled good-naturedly, "I think it's a good thing. Alec's one of the good ones. As I've been saying for months now."

"Yes, you have," Magnus agreed.

"And you always scoffed at it. _'Why would anyone set their hopes on a Lightwood?'_ were your exact words if I recall correctly," Luke reminded, still smiling.

"Hm," Magnus said, eyes narrowing, which only made Luke smile more, "We can all make mistakes."

"Well, I'm glad you've moved past it. I think it's good," Luke said again, and Magnus could feel him staring at they lapsed into silence again and Magnus resumed his watching of Alec, and Maia's, game. "You should go over there."

"What?"

"You should go over there," Luke repeated, "You've been staring at him long enough," Luke said and Magnus turned almost instantly to shoot him a warning stare.

"I'll have you know Alec and I have a-,"

"A ' _solid partnership_ ' yeah, I know," Luke smirked and Magnus squinted at him.

"You've been talking to Raphael."

"He may have texted."

Magnus scoffed. He wasn't being childish. How could he be childish with a man who was centuries younger than him? But people really did need to stop assuming... Alec was right. They did have a solid partnership. They weren't _friends_ although Magnus couldn't say the idea was as wholly unappealing to him as it was before. And if Magnus could see a mild physical appreciation there then so what? Luke was handsome too. Didn't have to mean anything other than that, so why did it with Alec?

"Well, I'm glad to see you're getting on," He said instead, moving the topic aside.

"Well, I wouldn't say that," Luke grinned, "This would be the first time he's texted."

"To talk about me behind my back. Wonderful."

Luke only laughed before watching Magnus, yes watching Alec, before he sobered a little and said again, "I'm serious though. You should go over and ask for the next game."

Now it was Magnus' turn to smirk, "We're not quite there yet Lucian."

"Suit yourself," Luke said, before downing the rest of his drink and making his goodbyes.

   Magnus wasn't sure when they left, only that he would have been quite happy to stay for as long as Alec wanted to stay. But there was only so many games of pool Alec could play before his gaze seemed to find Magnus', repeatedly. He kept looking up to find Magnus as the night went on, more and more frequently. Magnus could see the aim behind it, of course, Alec waiting to see when Magnus was ready to go, or for Alec to decide when they were ready to go by seeing how tired Magnus seemed. Alec also got a progressively worse at pool as the night went on, why Magnus wasn't sure, fatigue maybe? He did seem a little distracted. Even on the walk home, his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides either due to restlessness or the cold, or a combination. Magnus didn't ask. Magnus found he was a little distracted as well, although, unlike Alec, it wasn't due to the cold.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So I can't actually remember how many days it's been since I updated but it's probably been more than a week so apologies!  
> Kinda dialogue heavy here but we had a lot to discuss. Next chapter is more bonding, some new characters, some angst, and the beginning of a new plot point so... the update AFTER that is more fluffy so stick through it <3
> 
> tumblr is @fangirlbusiness  
> Anyways! Hope you enjoyed the new chapter!


	7. Chapter Seven - SaveShadowhunters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys: as you can tell from this chapter's title things have been happening...   
> I don't know if you've already been doing it but I urge you to send out your tweets to Freeform and Netflix etc. (just make sure you do it right so you can't get shadowbanned)   
> There's plenty of blogs on Tumblr with instructions on what you can do to save the show and petitions to sign, we can't give up now so keep up the momentum!

Magnus' P.O.V

   The fire message flew into the room, the wave of heat hitting Magnus just as the wave of magic did, and Magnus loathed in how he had to extinguish the flame of fear that erupted in his gut at the sensation. His hand caught the note easily as it burnt out into his hand, sparking at the contact as he suppressed a hiss of pain. As he read down the letter he could already guess Alec's expression: eye's squinted, shoulder's hunched, and leaning forward where he sat across from Magnus in the kitchen.

After a good few seconds of silence, in which Magnus could only stare at the bottom of the note as he took in its contents, Alec spoke, "What does it say?" He sounded far more cautious than he needed to be, although Magnus supposed it was his own behaviour that ensured Alec behaved as if he were walking on eggshells around Magnus, aware that the slightest thing might cause Magnus to redraw behind his walls, giving nothing away and therefore giving Alec nothing to work with.

Magnus crumpled the page in his hand, squeezing it tightly in his fist, looking away from both the page and Alec as he cleared his throat before turning back to Alec, planting a false smile on his face that hopefully would keep Alec's insistent checking on Magnus' wellbeing at bay. He should be grateful of course, he _was_ grateful, that Alec seemed to genuinely worry when Magnus seemed put off by something, but the contents of the letter that now determined how he would be spending his evening had successfully soured his mood beyond even Alec's careful reproach.

"It would appear I've been given a summons," Magnus announced, still forcing a lightness he didn't quite meet if Alec's furrowed brow was anything to go by.

"A summons?" He repeated.

"Oh don't pay the wording much heed," Magnus said flippantly, waving an overly dismissive hand. "It's more of an invitation," He smiled as Alec finally sat back a little, yet still looking as suspicious as ever. "A warlock gathering is all. More of a party with some serious side-of-the-room discussions really. As High Warlock of Brooklyn, I'm almost _required_ to make an appearance."

"How many warlocks?" Alec asked and Magnus tried to not sigh at the obvious beginning of a mission-esque attitude that seemed to take over Alec.

"Hard to say," Magnus answered, trying to keep it all appearing casual, "It's very difficult to get warlocks all together in one place, we are so very spread out."

"Just give me a ballpark figure to work with," Alec said, shaking his head at Magnus' attempt to appear lowkey.

With a sigh, Magnus glanced to the side, restraining the eye roll he desperately wanted to give him, before returning back to the conversation, setting his jaw and meeting Alec's close stare dead on, "I don't know. At least a hundred?" 

"A hundred?" Alec repeated and Magnus nodded curtly for clarification, watching as Alec seemed to go through variables in his mind before continuing, "Powerful?"

"It's always a mix," Magnus said and this time couldn't stop the eye roll at Alec's unimpressed expression at his answer, "There's always a handful of very powerful warlocks invited."

"Friendly?" Alec asks and Magnus can only bark out a harsh laugh at the question.

"Not the powerful ones if that's what you're thinking," Magnus smirks but sobers at Alec's hardening expression, "Besides them, the vast majority are harmless. Cat will be there."

Alec considers him for a second before asking plainly, Magnus' attitude apparently rubbing Alec the wrong way, "Anyone else you know?"

"I'll have to make a few calls."

  Magnus scrapes the stool he was resting on against the floor as he makes a move to leave, the screeching sound effectively returning him to his full senses as he goes to clear away his things and leave, when Alec grabs at his arm, pulling him to an abrupt stop.

"Magnus," Alec says. He sounds frustrated, he _looks_ frustrated, he ducks his head down, eyes closed as he exhales harshly through his nose and tightens his grip on Magnus' arm, and looks back up. He looks imploring, imploring Magnus to listen to what Magnus can only assume is more concerns. Not that Magnus needs anymore, his own mind has provided him with ample supply. Alec's gaze flits down to the hand still holding on to Magnus before he drops it immediately, looking away sharply before sighing, "Look. I don't know if you going tonight is such a good idea," He says at last and Magnus is just about to object when something in his expression must give him away before he can as Alec raises his voice slightly as he adds, "I know you said that, as High Warlock, you're expected to go but... just with your magic in the state that it is and the agitated state it can get around even just one warlock, I don't think you going tonight is safe."

He says all of this very rushed as if thinking that if he got it all quickly Magnus wouldn't have the time to react, clearly fearing whatever reaction that may be. But Magnus isn't irrational, or at least not right now he isn't. Magnus swallows past the growing lump in his throat, not from anger at Alec's suggestion just... from the relentless reminder that he's been compromised, that he can't be himself anymore. And Alec is right, completely. Magnus _shouldn't_ go, if it was anyone else in his situation he would say the same. But he also hopes that if someone else was in his position he would see their side of things. Magnus couldn't stop being himself, not if he didn't want to go mad or fall into a depressive episode. 

And really, if he had to go to a warlock gathering isn't it best to go now? When he still retained most control over his magic and not weeks or even days down the line when he barely had a grasp on what was left. Besides... he couldn't have the warlocks questioning his whereabouts now, not when Valentine was at large and his people needed him the most. He needed to go. He needed to appear in control and like he was still, _is_ still, the High Warlock of Brooklyn. And. When the inevitable comes, and his magic does begin to become more noticeably haywire and the other warlocks can no longer be kept in the dark... well, he doesn't want Lorenzo Rey to have the satisfaction of saying that that must have been the reason for his non-attendance at tonight's party.

"I... appreciate your concerns. And I do see where you're coming from-"

"But?" Alec interjects, looking far too knowing.

"But," Magnus repeated, "I have to do this."

Alec looks at him for a long while, just looks at him. Lips pursing slightly as he appears to mull it all over in his head before he sighs. Magnus' resulting grin or triumph is given a quick disapproving look and Magnus tries to push it down as Alec raises a hand to keep Magnus from leaving just yet, "Fine but - I'm coming with you."

Magnus opens his mouth, wanting to argue, but from the look, Alec was throwing at him he stopped. Taking Alec would be horrific, a travesty really, the warlocks would be up in arms over why on earth a Shadowhunter was mingling around their gatherings, suspicions and outright claims of espionage would soon be circulating, Magnus would more than likely be under scrutiny, this led of course by Lorenzo Rey. But... Alec wouldn't let him go unsupervised, even if his friends were in attendance, not when he knew they had proven ineffective in saving him from any magical catastrophes. And while Magnus wasn't at all convinced Alec could stop them either, Alec was. And that meant he was going.

"Fine," Magnus agreed curtly, "Now if you would excuse me, I have a few friends to call."

***

"I can't believe this," Ragnor admonished down the phone.

"I know!" Magnus exclaimed, "But he's insisting on accompanying me."

"Not that you idiot," Ragnor jabbed, causing Magnus to stop abruptly in his place as he paced around his bedroom. "I can't believe you're going. You _shouldn't_ be going!"

Magnus let out a very loud, and very dignified, sound of disgust, "Excuse me for wanting to do my job."

"You're job is to keep your people safe, and going to a gathering of hundred or so warlocks that light your fuse is the exact opposite. In this one instance, I am on the side of the Shadowhunter."

"His name is Alec and you're both wrong," Magnus glared even though Ragnor couldn't see it. "While both you and Alec I'm sure have viable points for your argument, so do I. I can't very well ignore an official invitation to one of the biggest warlock gathering of the year. And as High Warlock I need to be included in the debates over the courses of action against Valentine, even more so when you consider my recent... run in. _And_ , if I am to go it's better to go now when I still have some semblance of control. Besides, you and Cat will be there."

"I still think it's reckless," Ragnor said simply and Magnus tried to keep his eye roll almost entirely fond and only a little bit exasperated with his friend's concern.

"You think everything I do is reckless."

"And I'm usually right," Ragnor shoots back and this time Magnus can almost feel the daggers being shot at him down the phone.

"You and Cat will be there," Magnus repeats again, hoping this time it will actually soothe some of his friend's concerns. "And probably a few other friends - Dot maybe? Although I doubt Tessa will be able to find the time to make an appearance... Look - just... at the very least, you'll be able to tell me you told me so if things do go horribly wrong."

"I don't exactly find that comforting..." 

"Goodbye Ragnor!" Magnus grinned, shutting off his phone before Ragnor could get another word in edgewise.

***

   Magnus liked to think that he always dressed to the nines, but tonight it was imperative. Magnus had walls up, almost constantly, protecting himself from anyone on the outside. With the centuries he'd been alive and the less than fortunate events that he'd lived through, both personal and general, he knew they were justified, and given his deeper nature, they were also a necessity. But sometimes an impassive expression, a quick and snarky remark, a tight hold on his emotions, just wasn't enough and so Magnus had to paint over the truth.

   Line his eyes with dark kohl, match his eyeshadow to his nail polish, for tonight keeping it all dark. Spiking his hair and contouring the sharp lines of his face. Buttoning a high coloured black shirt and throwing on his most military-esque jacket, with perhaps a few minor modifications to keep things interesting. Letting his suspenders fall by his waist... He was preparing to shield it all away, any reaction that might be tried to pull from him.

   Of course, his make up wasn't all that, it was also just something he enjoyed, one of the few things he kept away from his magic most of the time. The slow methodical process of it all... soothing his mind and nerves before showing his face to the world, and there really was just something fun and trivial in the experimentation of trying out a new palette.

   Within no time it was time to leave. Magnus had spent most of his time calling his friends, ensuring their attendance and soothing their fears, and apart from that -  he soothed his own. Torn between pacing his room or sitting at his desk, he must have walked between the two rooms a dozen times, Alec watching him closely each time. Alec, apparently, never left the living room. Sat almost as if just waiting, keeping an eye out for a change in plans, ready to move at a moments notice - very Shadowhunter of him Magnus thought. Each time Magnus entered the room to move between his own he kept expecting Alec to have moved but he never did, seemingly content to just stroke the cats, who in a mark of betrayal and quickly taken a shine to Alec, or read one of the dog-eared, yellowed paged, books that Alec seemed to endlessly pull from the bag he'd packed and brought to Magnus'.

   "Look lively Alec, unless you've changed your mind about going," Magnus announced as he left his room for the last time before this evening was over.

He could hear the smile in Alec's voice as he stood from his seat, turning to greet Magnus, "Only if you have-" Alec cut himself off as he finally turned around, catching Magnus' eye. He suddenly seemed very unsure of himself, hands gesturing up as if to point at Magnus before falling helplessly right back down at his sides. "You-," He coughed, eyes flitting almost nervously to the side and back again, "You didn't tell me it was a formal event."

Magnus rolled his eyes, "If you think this is me formal then you haven't seen anything yet. You'll stick out anyway, no point in trying to avoid it now." He'd been trying to go for teasing although he apparently was far too on the nose. Alec's gaze couldn't seem to stop from looking over Magnus before he finally tore it away, red rising across his cheekbones and up to his ears, his hands tugging down at his own plain navy shirt sleeves. Magnus decided to take pity on him, smiling reassuringly he stepped forward, placing a gentle hand on Alec's forearm, "Alec. You look fine, more than fine really."

   Alec straightened up slightly at that, causing Magnus' hand to slip away, and up this close, Magnus could see that Alec's eyes really were stupidly gorgeous...

   Magnus cleared his throat a little, moving back and walking ahead, letting Alec follow as they moved to leave for the party. Magnus was ready to push whatever that moment was behind him and bring back the teasing nonchalance. Smiling, he added airily, "Really it's rather unfair, Shadowhunters seem to have formed a monopoly on leather jackets, ensuring that you always look at least somewhat acceptable."

Alec kept his lost look for a split second, eyes wide and just looking at Magnus, before he seemed to catch himself. Smile crooked and voice something perhaps akin to fond he replied simply, "Sure."

***

 "Okay, so this is... decadent," Alec said lowly as they were led into the main living space and were immediately met by a caterer who handed them a flute of champagne each. 

  He was right, of course. The place was spectacular, far more than it needed to be considered it currently only housed the one man. But the walls outside were clean white, pillars encircled the entrance like Magnus had just stepped back into Ancient Augustan Rome. The faint sound of fountains filling the airs of the trimmed green gardens that were undoubtedly blooming with every magical flower known to man... The inside was no less well kept, antique pots engraved with lost, and perhaps more than a few false, Latin that said who-knew-what, and age-old painting lining the walls that featured what appeared to be multiple depictions of the owner themselves... once again perhaps not entirely genuine, although Magnus couldn't be surprised. Plush rugs over wooden or mosaic floors, and actual standing candelabras in each corner. A little too over the top if you asked Magnus, a little too obvious of an attempt to give the place a sense of grandeur and therefore, by extension, give the owner the same kind of gravitas.

"Welcome to the home of Lorenzo Rey," Magnus muttered bitterly, then, more clearly, elaborated, "Warlocks tend to jump at the change to host events like these, gives them a chance to display the power and wealth they've accumulated over time but... Lorenzo... he was desperate."

"Why?" Alec asked.

"Because he wants to be a High Warlock. Of anywhere really, just as long as he is one. He hangs around, maintaining relevance in whichever district he fancies most so that, when the times comes to oust the old or transition naturally to the new... he can be first in line," Magnus explains.

"Sounds like you're not a fan," Alec says, eyeing Magnus carefully and Magnus can't help but laugh a little, looking at Alec with a smile.

"I guess you could say that."

"Magnus Bane," A smirking voice drawled out that had Magnus clenching onto his flute of champagne just a little tighter.

"Lorenzo Rey," He greeted, fake warmth lacing into his words as he plastered a smile across his face, ignoring the seconds look Alec gave him before turning to smile politely between them.

"I feared you wouldn't be able to make it, what with all those rumoured trips to the New York Institute I'd worried you'd be claimed," Lorenzo grins through each word, his teeth bared unnaturally wide, trying to appear pleasant but suggesting the exact opposite. Magnus watches as his gaze slides over onto Alec who maintains the perfect picture of politeness, Lorenzo gives him a once-over, biting a smirk into the inside of his own cheek before looking back to Magnus, eyes sparkling, "Although it appears I was only half right."

"I'd like to introduce Alec Lightwood, Acting Head of the New York Institute," Magnus said, sidestepping Lorenzo's less than subtle jabs.

"It's nice to meet you," Alec said simply, extending a hand for Lorenzo to shake, which, after a moment's deliberation, he took.

"If I knew you personally, I would say the same, but sadly all I have to go on is your reputation... and your Shadowhunter status. You understand of course? Dangerous times to be trusting strangers," Lorenzo says, smiling all the while.

"Of course," Alec says, a small smile playing on his own lips, while Magnus watches, feeling both... rather impressed (at Alec) and rather infuriated (by Lorenzo's motives).

"I'm sure we'll speak again Magnus," Lorenzo smiled, tilting his head as a goodbye, smirking at the final second before turning back around to re-enter the throng of guests.

"What an ass," Alec says abruptly and Magnus chokes into his drink, grinning himself when he sees Alec direct one his way.

"Yes...," He agreed, subtly glancing back over to where Lorenzo simpers his way through the crowds, "Couldn't have said it better myself. I suppose I will have to explain your attendance in one way or another..."

"I get that you'll most likely not want to lie to your people right?" Alec says matter of factly and Magnus tries not to show his surprise too much, he'd assumed Alec wouldn't have even given the warlocks future feelings or Magnus' word as a leader a second thought, Magnus had assumed a straight-forward lie was all he was to be offered. Of course, Alec seemed to have a knack for impressing him lately, and dangerously often.

"Right," He agreed slowly, watching closely as the cogs seemed to be winding in Alec's brain.

"Obviously we can't give away the whole truth but... let's just say you've been brought in to help us experiment and try and learn more about Valentine's recent experiments because right now... that ranges from a whole load of different areas, the forsaken, for example, have been a pain in the ass for Izzy to try and figure out," Alec suggested and Magnus found himself nodding before he was even halfway through.

"Sounds like a plan," Magnus agreed before looking out across the room. A lot of them were looking their way, and not to admire Magnus, many were throwing frequent, and in some cases, fearful or even murderous, glances in Alec's specific direction. "I should probably go out there," He said at last, "Mingle, network... set the record straight on why I've brought a Shadowhunter to seemingly inspect upon them at a party." 

Alec smirked into his drink before nodding, "Yeah, probably."

"You'll be okay on you're own? Won't break out the seraph blades?" Magnus asked, only half joking, but judging by Alec's easy smile he understood.

"I'll be fine."

"Alright," Magnus said, looking back out to the crowd's, resolving himself to whatever discomfort he was about to be plunged into, both conversation wise but also, now with his condition... physically. Throwing back the last drop of his drink and quickly nabbing another from a tray being carried past, he moved into the crowds, heart beating in perhaps the most unhealthy palpitations he's ever experienced but determined nonetheless.

***

Alec's P.O.V

   To say that Alec was feeling awkward would be the understatement of the century, which, when considering how old most of the other guests here are, does actually mean something here. He could feel every eye in the room flit back and forth between themselves and him as Alec stood on the sidelines, nearest the wall, holding onto the glass of champagne he's not even sure he likes.

   He tries to ignore, he tries to do his job. He's already formulated at least four exit strategies if things turned south, he's cursing himself for not glamouring even a seraph dagger he could hide inside his sock or something... but there's only so many times he can scan a crowd as teeming as this in search for possible threats before becoming paranoid yourself when you begin to realise you're being surveyed right back. 

   So he watches Magnus instead, how he seems to be making great headway with as many glasses of champagne as he can get handed to him, how he stifles for a split moment each time Lorenzo Rey butts into a conversation or a debate, how when a discussion becomes serious he drops the smile, eyebrows furrow, his grip tightens and doesn't take another sip of his drink until it's over... how he smiles and glitters through his conversations despite it all. Despite the pressure and the more than probable fear that Alec can only figure is seeped deep within him.

   Alec doesn't doubt for one second that Magnus wanted to be here, wanted to be among his people again, wanted to be the High Warlock of Brooklyn, but Alec's not naive. Not about everything, and not about this. Because, rather paradoxically, Alec also doesn't doubt that Magnus wants to be as far away from this place as possible. Because he's a leader, and leader's want to be with their people, especially in hard times like these, but leader's, like Magnus, also want to protect their people. And Magnus is too smart to not register that, by being with his people, he is making them as unsafe as possible.

   "Alec Lightwood?"

   Alec turns around at the vaguely British accent saying his name and is greeted by a man who was entirely green all over and had two horns poking straight out of his head, and a hand reaching out for Alec to shake.

"Yes," Alec replied, moving to shake the man's hand which earned him a quizzical eyebrow raised in his direction, although the man's gaze kept him under a sense of heavy scrutiny. "...Ragnor Fell?"

A smirk fell over the man's face as he released Alec's hand, "Correct, although I'm not entirely sure how you could tell. I don't let Magnus keep many pictures of me on show, most are from the 1800s and I regret every top hat I've ever owned."

"Uh- no," Alec says, lips fighting back an amused smile because, for some reason, he can tell that this conversation is nothing but professional. "Magnus called you his- his dear little cabbage. So..."

Whatever smirk Ragnor had on his face disappeared immediately as he rolled his eyes with a disgruntled sigh, "Two hundred years I've been asking him to drop that nickname..." He glances sideways to Alec then, back straightening as he follows Alec's gaze to Magnus, "You'll learn he can be stubborn like that."

"I think I have an idea about that already," Alec replies.

"Yes, I'm sure you do," Ragnor says, the smirk back in place, and he lets a moment of silence fall between them as they both follow Magnus across the room, talking some to Warlock ambassador. "I'm glad I got to talk to alone, without Magnus to interfere," Ragnor says finally and Alec glances to him but finds nothing to give away his thoughts, his face impassive, simply watching Magnus, with a light airiness to his voice that feels far too calm to be anything but a cover for the seriousness that lies underneath.

"Interfere with what?" Alec asks calmly, taking a drink just to have something to do.

"My interrogation," Ragnor smiles, still not looking Alec's way. "I've known Magnus was centuries and I like to think I know him better than most, so you can imagine the concern I have for his wellbeing and with you being a Shadowhunter, assigned to watch over him day and night while he is... compromised, and knowing of his past experiences with Shadowhunters and when you consider the Civil War between your people, what with Valentine, well... I'm sure you understand." 

"I think I do," Alec replies.

"I won't make it a secret that I was initially against his plan to seek help for the Institute. I wanted to take him to stay with me in London, truth be told. I value honesty, which I'm sure you do as well. It can be very hard, and most likely impossible, for you to understand the magnitude of what he is going through. But Catarina has spoken to me about it at length, she, at least, vouches for your character, and Raphael says he doesn't hate you," Ragnor goes on, at last shooting an overly polite smile Alec's way, "And Magnus has had no serious complaints, just his usual melodrama. And some of your decisions I've been surprised to find I agree with. So, I suppose I can't hate you just yet. But, I just wanted to take this opportunity to make my feelings known, to let you know where we stand on this issue - that I will always have Magnus' best interests at heart, above whatever Shadowhunter protocol dictates - and, I suppose I wanted to measure the weight of you. So there, I've said my piece."

   Alec can only let them stand there for a moment, ignoring how Ragnor has reversed his entire stance throughout the conversation to now stand watching _Alec_ , just as intently as he had done with Magnus. Probably so that he can do as he said he would and _measure the weight_ of him. Alec knows he should say something, has to say something. He wants to say something. He just has to figure out what that is first, he realises that Ragnor won't appreciate any run-of-the-mill Shadowhunter report kind of response, he gave a genuine criticism and he'll expect a genuine response.

Ragnor seems ready to give up and turn away when Alec speaks up, "For what it's worth," He begins and decides to take Ragnor's look of surprise as a good sign, "I know that there's a lot I won't be able to understand about Magnus' condition, but I am trying, and I'm open to consultation or just being told I'm doing something wrong, if that's what you want to be able to do then I'm open to it. I-... I know Shadowhunters have a reputation, a reputation we have earned, of being very self-involved and... well, all of that. But there are some of us who are trying to be better, myself included I'd like to think. And I want to do what's best by Magnus as well. I understand and empathise with your concerns, and all I can do is strive to prove you wrong. Which I hope you'll let me."

Ragnor actually smiles. "Magnus was right about one thing then."

"What was that?"

"You like to surprise people," Ragnor says and he seems to say it like a compliment before he turns away to look back at Magnus, a look coming over his face that Alec can only see as the look of barely restrained concern, littered with a fondness only felt by family. He smiles again, glancing, looking like he knows more than Alec ever could, "Magnus could use someone like you I think."

***

Magnus' P.O.V

   Oh, how Magnus loathed Lorenzo Rey. Magnus had just ended a very diplomatic discussion with a French ambassador when he was suddenly being pushed into a small circle of Warlocks, including Lorenzo, to discuss the 'Valentine' problem.

"What say you, Magnus? Hm?" Lorenzo asked, smiling sickeningly wide, "Set up some Warlock rota, if the Shadowhunters can have patrol why not us? Have members of our own community, protecting _our_ community?"

"I say you'll have a very hard time finding a pool of volunteers."

Magnus watched as Lorenzo's smile lessened minutely before coming back wider than ever, yet his eyes flashed something dangerous, "And why's that?"

Magnus actually laughed. "Look around you. Look how hard it was to get a group of us to gather here tonight, and this was a worldwide invitation, you're proposing we narrow ourselves to the USA. It's a lovely idea but that's currently all it can be. The reason that organised patrols works for the Shadowhunters is that they have an organised state in Alicante with Idris, warlocks do not. We're free, we travel, most of us don't have proper legal documents tying us to a country let alone to owning a house, not when portals are free to use and we've cultivated wealth and places to call home for all the years we've been alive."

"Magnus makes a solid argument, Lorenzo," the High Warlock of Atlanta observes pragmatically and Magnus tilts a nod in thanks, trying not to appear to gloat over how Lorenzo's smile thins, with a curt nod in their direction.

"Just a thought is all."

"You're new to the politics Rey," another High Warlock, this time from Las Vegas, says, patting a hand gently against Lorenzo's back, which of course he'll see as patronising when it was meant as a comfort, "You'll learn to understand the variables with a few more years under your belt. Although we will have to decide on something were Morgernstern is concerned."

"Hm, yes- of course," Lorenzo agrees tightly, glaring just long enough at Magnus was Magnus to get the message before his easy manner comes back on and he looks Magnus dead on as he says, "Actually, Magnus. Now that I remember, who's the young Shadowhunter with you? He wouldn't happen to be involved in anything related to taking on Valentine would he?"

"Yes, Bane!" the High Warlock of Chicago exclaims slightly, "It's not like you to bring Shadowhunter's around, it's not like you to associate with the likes at all."

"Who is he?" Another asks.

Magnus decides to pointedly ignore Lorenzo when he replies. "He's called Alec Lightwood. I went to him after my attack from Valentine's men, we've- We've been working on discovering Valentine's ways, means, and reasons concerning his experimentations... on the forsaken, and the like."

"Ah yes, I heard about your attack. All been well since?" The High Warlock of Vegas asks.

"As well as can be expected," Magnus smiles.

"Alec Lightwood?" The High Warlock of Chicago asks and at Magnus' nod of confirmation he looks vaguely impressed, "There's very few Shadowhunter's talented enough to make the rounds of gossip in other cities besides their own but... Alec Lightwood I've heard of."

"Good things?" Another warlock asks.

"For a Shadowhunter," The High Warlock of Chicago shrugs. "Undoubtably future Head of the New York Institute, parabatai to the Shadowhunter's supposedly greatest soldier. His sister I hear is very progressive. Magnus, can the same be said for him?"

"I can't tell you anything for definite but... he does seem to be a possibility."

   It takes Magnus the better part of half an hour to extract himself for Lorenzo's company and snag another glass of champagne, honestly is there nothing stronger? When suddenly someone is linking his arm from behind but the panic that wells instantly inside him at this unannounced partner fades immediately, although oddly not entirely, at the sight of Dot.

"Dorothea," Magnus smiles.

"I thought I'd never get you alone," She smiles right back, "Lorenzo can _talk_."

"Oh don't get me started," Magnus groans causing Dot to laugh happily,

"It can't have been all bad, what did he say?"

"Oh the usual, setting himself up as the man with the plan and when that fell through immediately jumped in to try and question my character."

"To be fair I was prepared to do the latter when I saw you enter with a Shadowhunter by your side. Magnus, have your tastes gotten even more exotic?"

"Oh please," Magnus huffs, rolling his eyes, "I know better than to form an attachment with a Shadowhunter, there could be no brighter red flag."

"You've fallen for far worse," Dot smirks.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to be encouraging, if Ragnor could hear you now..."

"I'm just saying I've seen him and he's gorgeous, although no moustache. I guess no one could pull it off quite like Freddie."

"No," Magnus smiles teasingly, "It's too iconic for anyone else I think."

"But you don't deny your Shadowhunter is attractive?" Dot grins, raising an eyebrow and Magnus tries not to curse her.

With a sigh he relents, "He's not terrible," at Dot's snort he shoots her a glare that only has her grinning more, "He's... above average. But!" He says, shutting down whatever she was moving to say next, "We are not friends. He is not _my_ Shadowhunter. He is a man, who happens to be a Shadowhunter, that I am partnered with to investigate Valentine's experiments with. Nothing more, now or ever."

Dot stares at him for a moment, just smirking and Magnus wants to look away or tell _her_ to look away, to get rid of the sense of secrecy that he has to protect that seems to be filling him under her watch. He wants to end the sensation that she can read right through him, read what he doesn't know but knows he doesn't like. 

At last, Dot sighs, giving him a final side-eye before saying, "Thou doth protest too much."

"Oh shut up," Magnus groans yet the heat of it is lessened mildly by the smile he gives her.

   Eventually, Magnus realises he ought to find Alec again and save him from whatever doubtless awkwardness he's found him in. He searches for ten minutes before he realises just how big a mistake it was to leave him alone for such a long stretch of time. 

   Alec is stood, smiling politely, as both Cat and Ragnor stand alongside him, talking way, sometimes at Alec, sometimes with Alec. Probably about Magnus.

"Bad mouthing me already?" Magnus announces to the group as he walks over, Alec turning around at the sound of his voice with a smile ready in greeting. He looks oddly at ease which only sets Magnus a little off kilter at the simpleness of Alec's smile, that actually reaches and brightens his eyes, and the relaxed way he holds himself.

"Who says we're bad mouthing you?" Cat asks, smiling.

"I know you both too well to not know what you're up to."

"You don't need us to talk badly about you Magnus," Ragnor says, "You do that yourself by getting into those stupid situations in the first place, we just tell the tale."

"I love you too," Magnus glares jokingly before looking over at Alec who's watching the whole exchange rather bemusedly, "Don't believe a word they've said."

"Too late," Alec says and damn Dot because yes, with that smile and soft, amused, bemused... fond? gaze... Alec Lightwood really in handsome.

***

   The night was probably only going so well because there had been a steady flow of feel-good alcohol to dull any external sensations and because no one had actually performed any magic. The changed of course when portals began to materialise all around him. The first blaze of magic as one bloomed into life across the room had caused Magnus to drop his glass at the sudden change in atmosphere, the shards skitting around their feet and with the smash also apparently broke a dam inside Magnus.

   Cat had set her own drink down, moving forward, only for Magnus to jerk back, suddenly overly aware of the magic that could spark under her fingertips at any time. Ragnor had stayed back but he'd watched Magnus closely as Alec spun to place a hand on Magnus' back, asking if he was okay before he himself noticed the first portal, and just like that tens and tens were coming to life all around them. 

   Magnus thought that the longer they waited the easier it would get, more and more warlocks were leaving so surely? But no, because then Lorenzo was waving his own magic around the rooms, vanishing glasses from the remaining people's hands, extinguishing the candles around the room, cutting off the music with a flick of the wrist. If anything, the emptying of the room made Magnus feel worse.

   The magic had already done its job of filling Magnus with a steady and rising flow of dread inside him, the lack of other sensations left him vulnerable only to whatever this was inside him. Without the room's music, his head felt like static, the removal of the faint glowing warmth of dripping candles left him stupidly cold. Even after the magic was used and gone he imagined as if he could still feel it in the air, like the remaining particles of it were moving straight for him, to do what he didn't know, which he supposed was the problem.

   Cat had wanted to stay but Ragnor, ever the rational, persuaded her it was best for them to leave, which it was. Magnus just wishes it wasn't. 

"Magnus," Alec says, far too soft with his hand still on Magnus' back.

"It's fine," Magnus says stepping forward to make sure that he was out of reach for Alec, "I just need to get away from it." 

   Despite the gut feeling that doing so was wrong, he threw a portal into existence, the warmth of it washing back over him as the purple light illuminated his body. And for a second he felt only relief that it'd worked. And then the next second came, and his hands sparked against him, burning his skin. Hissing he brought his hand tight to his chest as Alec was soon by his side.

"Magnus," He said again, still too soft to be dealt with clearly.

"We have to go," Magnus says before stepping through the portal and safely and suddenly into his loft. He half expected Alec to not follow behind but it took less than second for Alec to appear and the portal to be sucked back from existence.

"Magnus," Alec says for a third time, less soft, more frustrated as Magnus walks away to his drinks cabinet and pulls out the first bottle he sees. "Magnus!" Alec says again, forceful and determined as he comes up behind the bar.

Magnus just ignores him, pulling alcohol from the shelves and pouring them inelegantly and unplanned into the biggest glass he has. His hands shaking as he pours it all in, the glass hitting the other glass, the liquids sloshing around and spilling over the edges more than in the glass. It's all a mess and so is Magnus. How can he not be around magic? He can't not be around magic anymore. He _is_ magic! 

   His hands are shaking, he can feel the rise from his gut, up to his stomach, right past his heart and to his head that no longer has any clear process of what's going on around him. And it feels like he's dying, like he's the life support slowing shutting down, like the world is quieting, like he's all that left, and he can't take it another. 

And Alec says again, "Magnus."

And the glass explodes in Magnus' hands.

"Magnus!" Alec yells and in a singular instant, Alec is right in front of him.

"Alec, you need to stay back," Magnus urges, reaching to try and push Alec back as Alec shakes his head before Magnus even finishes saying his name. "Alec you're going to get hurt." And he will, because Magnus' hands are sparking and fritzing all over again and Magnus thinks he might be able to cry if there was anything in him right now apart from rogue and dangerous magic.

He can't feel anything except the magic, the sparks jetting out from his palms and fingertips and he can tell it's all going to be happening again and desperately all he can think is that he just doesn't want this, not again, definitely not so soon. He watches as Alec looks on desperate and Magnus is only just beginning to wonder what he's thinking when Alec surges forward to grab at Magnus' hands, that are still trying to push him away, with his own, ignoring Magnus' yell of protest. Alec moves quickly so that only one of his hands is enclosing over both of Magnus' before moving his second to hold around the back of Magnus' head, pushing him forward until it falls against Alec's.

"Just focus on me, okay?" He orders, eyes imploring and wide as they stare Magnus down.

"Are you mad!" Magnus yells the panic inside of him is close to peaking as a bottle of whiskey smashes somewhere beside them. He doesn't want to be responsible for anyone getting hurt and with Alec here and distracting him Magnus can't focus on pulling the blast back to him.

"Focus on me!" Alec repeats as if Magnus had said nothing. 

   Nails dig into the nape of Magnus' neck as Alec pushes Magnus even further forward. Alec's hand also tighten around Magnus' and it's all Magnus can do to force himself to do as he's told and focus on those feelings of the hands gripping at his. He doesn't see how it can help, his hands still spark against them so that now he's hurting Alec as well but Alec remains persistent. 

"Focus on the feelings," Alec says through gritted teeth.

   Alec's thumb slips over his own and Magnus catches it, squeezing it tightly to try and do as he's told and hold on to something. He doesn't know what to expect. What does Alec want him to think? The hands around his are rough, Magnus already knew that. Although maybe that's what he needs right now. The fact that he knows Alec is there because he knows what he's like, how he's real and recognisable. Grounding and present, callous and literal, something he can tell is alive as opposed to the strange alien void of fear that his reactions surround him in.

   So, despite himself, he throws all his own ideas to the wind and he grips onto Alec and the roughness of his touch like it's all that he has left because honestly, at this moment, he guesses that it is.

   Not in an instant but in time, it is different, it's clearer. The panic rising to engulf him is thinner and he forces his mind to fight through the smoke and veil.

"Just focus on me," Alec urges, quieter this time like he can tell it's working. "It's okay."

Alec is breathing against Magnus, harshly, and he smells like champagne and smoke.

"Alec," Magnus says at last, weak and failing as all the sensations inside him are drained and he stumbles forward, knees almost giving out as Alec, with his Shadowhunter reflexes, catches him, holding him up, eyes wide with worry, far too genuine to be any good for Magnus.

"It's okay," Alec whispers, taking most if not all of Magnus' weight as he leads him to Magnus' bedroom and sits him on the bed. "I'll get the first aid."

"Top drawer," Magnus mumbles and watches as Alec furrows his brow but follows orders just as well, opening Magnus' bedside drawer to find a first aid kit. "At Cat's request," He manages to mutter.

"Smart," Alec remarks.

"Nurse," Magnus explains simply and manages to match Alec's little upturns in the corners of his mouth.

"Give me your hands," Alec requests gently as Magnus sits up on the edge of the bed by Alec, reaching over his hands. Magnus watches, mildly mesmerised, as Alec cleans over the marks on his hands. He hisses slightly as Alec makes contact with the cuts, earning him an apologetic look.

"It'll only hurt for a moment," Alec says kindly. Magnus wasn't entirely sure that was true.

   Alec resumes his work quietly, an almost parody of the first night he'd taken care of Magnus, smoothing disinfectant wipes across Magnus' hands before painstakingly placing each gelled plaster over every mark with perfectionistic care. When he finally seems satisfied he closes over the box and sets it on the floor.

"Best I can do I'm afraid, don't think healing magic is on the cards right now."

"And what about you?" Magnus says, aching over the confused look that crosses Alec's face before Magnus gives a pointed look to Alec's hands. "Iratze."

"Now?" Alec asks, still somehow confused.

"Yes now, I'm not entirely confident that you won't forget and so let yourself sleep with burnt skin until morning," Magnus replies, only half teasing. Alec smiles though, a little crooked and always a pleasure.

"Fine," He says, sighing a little. He pulls up the corner of his shirt to ignite his rune under his stele and Magnus decides this might have been a mistake. Looking away, he clears his throat a little until Alec drops the shirt back down, even it was just up above his hip a little. Alec didn't make a move to go though, not yet anyway, he looked like he had more to say. "You're going to be okay."

It wasn't what Magnus was expecting exactly and so as always, as was apparently typical of Alec's reactions, Magnus never knew what to feel. "I like to think we all will, in the grand scheme of things," He said instead.

"I like to think so too," Alec smiles before appearing to realise the time or notice the darkness shrouding them, or... something that apparently reminded him to leave. "I should let you sleep. And, just-. You're going to be okay," he repeats.

"Thank you, Alec, and... I'm sorry, about my magic, I know how it hurt," Magnus says, glancing to Alec's hands.

"Don't worry about it, not your fault," Alec says, barely even giving his hands a glance, and with that, Magnus was left alone.

   Magnus being left alone to his thoughts wasn't very often a good thing, and it certainly wasn't now. He supposes the night had been good, while it lasted. And he had somehow held off on experiencing another reaction, he should be relieved. And _yet_...

    _Not his fault_. Oh if only that were true. He'd thought, being that his magic was still in some realm of control, that he could risk the outing. But what control did he really have? If he experienced a reaction all he could do was pull it into himself, he couldn't stop it. If someone else tried to stop it, they got hurt. Even Alec, who, somehow, kept him contained... and what reward did he get? Burned hands. Was that all he was good for now if left unchecked, unmonitored, exposed to too much magic? Hurt? Himself or others. What kind of warlock was that? 

And it could only get worse. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SaveShadowhunters aside:  
> I hope you liked this chapter, a lot longer than I intended and a lot later but I've finished my first week of exams with two more to go so... we'll see.  
> Bit of bonding here, bit of angst, bit of plot -hope you liked it <3   
> Next chapter is a bit fluffier so look forward to that, a lot more bonding there.
> 
> as always tumblr is @fangirlbusiness if you need me


	8. Chapter Eight - Non-Judgmental Breakfast Club

Magnus' P.O.V

   His nail polish was chipped.

   Magnus was sat up in bed, far earlier than he ever usually got up. The scattered orange light of the sun was just about managing to push through the black sky to give way to dusty blue and fade lightly through Magnus' curtains. Magnus sat, looking at his hands, examining them. Magnus had never really worried about his hands, they weren't cause for much concern - a couple coats of polish and select choice of rings. Done. Maybe a little moisturiser to keep things smooth. Nothing major. His hands were just there. Something he could decorate, something he didn't have to worry about, or ever really think about. And now?

   Igniting his magic was almost a reflex at this point. It happened when he wanted it to happen. Flames bursting into life, half-sentient, and waiting to be guided. And after being alive for as long as he had, and having magic, suddenly, now, not having that security but still feeling like he should? Magnus couldn't even explain it. Looking at his hands now, spotted with healing burns, Magnus couldn't even think about igniting anything. He could, he's sure he could. He still has his magic. He still has the ability. He just no longer has faith. In himself or his magic, he's not sure, and he really doesn't want to ask.

   The morose thoughts he was quickly finding himself in was broken almost anti-climactically by the sounds of his cats meowing from outside his door. Of course, they must be hungry, Magnus usually magicks them their meals automatically as he wakes but... he thought the better of it this morning.

   He's not quite ready to be up yet and have to find a way to go about his day when all he really wants is to stay in bed although he supposes he must, for his cats' sakes. He'd just about managed to swing himself around so that his feet were firmly planted on the floor as he pulls on a robe when another, new, sound emerges. The light padding of feet comes down the hall, followed shortly by very soft shooing as the meowing begins to subside.

    _Alec._ Magnus stalls all movement, stupidly caught off guard by the reminder of him. Which, of course, leads to a reminder of last night. Not his magical episode, he doesn't think he'll ever forget what those are like, but of Alec. Afterwards.

   He glances to the side, spotting the first aid kit that was placed precariously on the edge of his bedside table. He looks to where he remembers Alec sitting, shrouded half in the dim light of the streets outside and half in the darkness around it. He remembers how carefully Alec had tended to the cuts, how he'd held Magnus far more gingerly than someone who did this often, hinting to Magnus that maybe Alec was doing this to be kind, because he cared, that it was his second nature to help, not because it was his job, but because he _wanted_ to. Magnus still didn't know what to do with that.

   He wasn't even sure he could even say he felt surprised by Alec's actions anymore, this wasn't the first time he'd done this but it certainly was the first time Magnus could appreciate it properly.

   Besides all that though, besides the healing and the caring and the passing words of assurance that Magnus really didn't deserve, Alec stopped him. His magic had been ready to blow, Magnus had been doing all he could to contain the blast, he'd been difficult, ignoring every call from Alec to calm down, seeking only to get as far away from him as possible. And Alec had ignored him. Stupidly he'd rushed forward, grabbing Magnus, hauling him against him so suddenly Magnus could admit to feeling dizzy for reasons more than just magical.

   It was reckless, Magnus knew that. Terribly, terribly reckless. Magnus had been close to using what little magic he might have still had to blast Alec away. But Alec was yelling, hands tight, gripping onto Magnus like he knew exactly what Magnus was thinking, and repeating over and over again to just focus. For a good few seconds, Magnus had honestly thought Alec had gone mad, focus on what? The magic? Magnus knew without thinking that if he focused on the magic slipping through his fingers any more than he already was, he'd lose it all.

   But Alec _didn't_ stop. He just kept pushing Magnus against him, nails digging into his neck and into his hands. _And it hurt._ Then, suddenly, Magnus couldn't feel anything without feeling Alec _right_ there with him. _And it worked._ It was infuriating initially, it was painful, it was distracting. _And then it wasn't._ He didn't forget about the magic and what was happening to him, he didn't think it was possible. But Alec seemed overwhelming, just, overwhelmingly _there._ Demanding attention, demanding that Magnus pay attention to him, to listen to him. And Magnus, all at once, like his eyes were finally coming into focus, found it very easy to do as he was told, to focus, and fall into Alec. Which he did, literally. Magic expelling like air but somehow not leaving him at the same time? The pressure just finally being off. And Alec caught him. 

   He should thank him. Magnus knows that. Alec deserves that. But where to begin? Getting out of bed would probably be a good place to start.

   He doesn't bother getting dressed, at least not properly. He keeps his pyjama pants on though and ties his robe loosely around his waist. He doesn't really know why but he doesn't feel that he needs to or should cover up for Alec for this. If he's going to be open and honest he may as well do Alec the courtesy of going all the way, and that means no armour.

   He pauses just outside the door to the kitchen, which is ajar just enough for Magnus to see his cats hop around Alec's heels as he moves around the kitchen, phone pressed securely between his cheek and his shoulder and Magnus tries to not feel too much like an eavesdropper.

   "I'm just making breakfast Iz, it's not a big deal, let it go," Alec says as he whizzes around, sliding fried eggs onto plates. Whatever Isabelle says on the other side of the phone has Alec looking to the ceiling in exasperation. "Because it's the most important meal of the day," Alec replies back snarkily before quickly exclaiming, "I'm not being smart with you Iz, I'm not trying-... a-huh, a-huh, yes,- Izzy you've got to stop, okay?"

   She must say something serious because Magnus watches as Alec visibly deflates in his defence and smiles sadly to himself, "I know you do but...," Alec pauses, head falling to look down at the table for a moment before he seems to compose himself again and smiles down the phone, "It's just breakfast. Besides," He says, heaving a sigh and turning to plate more food, "If any sibling has any cause to worry it's me about you, haven't you been gearing up for a big mission about Valentine?"

   Alec simply nods along as Isabelle replies, offering only occasional noises to let her know he's still listening before one of the cats at his feet meows rather loudly and leaps to the counter in front of him, tearing a smile from Alec and slight chuckle, interrupting his sister to explain, "Sorry, it's uh- it's Church, Magnus' cat, I think he wants attention or food."

   It's now that Magnus takes his queue to enter, stepping into the kitchen and offering a smile that he hopes didn't come across too awkward to Alec's suddenly wide-eyed expression before he swallows around whatever it was he was going to say to Isabelle and smiles back.

   "Look Iz," Alec begins down the phone again, still looking dead at Magnus before awkwardly turning away back to the stove to set pots and pans aside, "I should go but I'll see you tomorrow and- yeah. I'll be fine. Yeah you too, bye."

   Hanging up the phone Alec turns round almost sheepishly as he pockets his phone, "Sorry about that."

   "You don't need to apologise for calling your sister," Magnus replies.

"Yeah, well," Alec replies awkwardly, scratching at the back of his head, "Just if I was too loud and woke you up or anything."

"No, no, don't worry about that. You're allowed to call your sister," Magnus assured, Alec simply smiled in return and Magnus, desperate to not let in an ounce of silence tried for comedy, "Now if it was Jace you were calling, then we'd have a problem."

   It seems to work a little, Alec huffs out a small laugh and the corners of his lips lilt just a little in the direction Magnus is wanting them to go. "So what's all this then?" Magnus asks, nodding his head in the direction of the food.

   "Oh!" Alec says, starting suddenly to clear the mess from the table, "Breakfast," He says ever so eloquently, looking all at once awkward again, maybe even nervous, although that's understandable, and mutual, given the atmosphere, circumstance, and basically everything else. "I figured, since- well I just thought you'd need something."

   Magnus pauses, just a little, breakfast, a meal that apparently was cause for much discussion on Alec's phone call... he should just move past it. Stepping past his curiosity, Magnus smiles, "Thank you, Alec. You really didn't have to."

Alec shrugs, "I've made breakfast here before."

"While your pancakes and french toast are surprisingly well-made for a Shadowhunter, a full fry-up is going beyond all expectations. Not that I had any really. So still, thank you."

"It's no problem," Alec says, offering another smile that this time might actually be happy.

Magnus doesn't start eating though, he just watches Alec for another second before he decides that if he doesn't say it now he won't ever later.

   "For more than just this though," He says and Alec actually looks confused for a moment before it seems to dawn on him and Magnus only pushes on louder because Alec looks ready to downplay his actions. "I mean it, Alec. Thank you, for everything, for last night." He's nervous now, no other way to describe it, he's torn between wanting to look Alec in the eye and being too scared of not being able to look away and so keeping his gaze firmly planted to the fork in his hand, chancing only momentary glances in his direction, "With the magic. I mean... you stopped it. I don't even fully understand how you did but..."

   "I'm not sure I knew in that moment either," Alec says quietly and Magnus smiles a little at the admission and takes some sort of courage from it to meet Alec's gaze, wondering if he looks as equally shy as Alec appears looking at him.

  "All I know is that one minute I was tunnelling everything into myself, the magic, the pain, all of it, and then you were dragging me out. No more magic and no more pain. And...," Magnus closes his eyes for a second, he's not sure why he does, just maybe to catch his breath, before continuing, "I know it couldn't have been easy. I know stopping me meant you were hurt as collateral... I know me yelling at you constantly also probably didn't help," He actually manages to grin at that, widening exponentially when he sees Alec do the same.

"You were pretty hard to convince," Alec agrees teasingly.

"I've been known for my tantrums, although don't tell anyone else that I call them that," Magnus jokes in easy return. A silence falls between them but this time Magnus lets it, he's not scared of it anymore, he's said his piece and Alec let him.

///

*Alec's P.O.V*

   "Oh dear, oh dear," Magnus says mostly to himself as they walk round to the bar were Magnus' near miss took place last night. "It's a lot cleaner than I remember."

   "Yeah I tried to clear up some of the glass earlier," Alec explains, trying to keep his tone casual, dismissive, he didn't want Magnus thinking the damage was anything to get overly worked up about, really all he wanted was for Magnus to rest. He'd nearly exploded last night and his hands still needed proper time to heal and Alec just didn't see how Magnus being reminded of the incident was going to help. "But then Church and Chairman were sniffing around, so I went to shut them in the kitchen, and then I realised the time, so, I thought breakfast should come first."

   Alec watched Magnus closely as he finished his explanation, he'd been nodding slowly along, crouching down to survey the remaining mess. He looked up once Alec had finished, smiling at him, only slightly, but he was smiling. "That was very thoughtful Alec, thank you. Again."

"It was nothing, don't worry about it," Alec said, shaking his head at the thanks, earning him a pointed look from Magnus - with another smile aimed his way.

"I mean it, Alec," He said insisted and Alec wasn't sure if it was because of how last night went or because of how Magnus was looking at him, closer than he ever usually did, not calculating, trying to figure Alec out, just looking at him, sincerely. Whatever it was, it made Alec nod, unable to say anything back, just nod, and smile back.

***  
   Alec watched as Magnus threw another book away with an exaggerated sigh. Alec was still in the middle of reading the first book Magnus had discarded although he wasn't reading in the best conditions to focus on the story.

   After clearing up the mess in the living room Magnus had, with very little need for Alec's agreement or the argument he had prepared in case Magnus hadn't agreed, dismissed all clients for the day. Leading to possibly one of the grandest displays of boredom Alec had ever witnessed. Magnus went from cleaning the bar to working it, mixing up two drinks, one for Alec, and one for himself - which had a considerably larger alcohol content Alec noticed. He had joked that he didn't want Alec to get the wrong impression of him and think he was a rampant day-drinker but then he'd sighed almost solemnly and with more joy than Alec thought he really felt Magnus chuckled and said there was no use lying to him, he was an enormous day-drinker.

   Alec politely sipped at his drink, while Magnus had his swung down in less than a second, and admitted to not being much of a drinker himself. That had Magnus smiling amusedly, "Give me a few more weeks and a fully stocked bar and we'll see just how true that is," he had said, eyes glinting mischievously and Alec himself had returned the humour, smirking just a little, "We'll see."

   He'd then gone from drinking to paying an inordinate amount of attention to his cats, trailing a string along the ground, smiling fondly as Chairmen chased after it. Switching to a laser pointer that had Church frustrated for a good ten minutes before he gave up, handing the chase back over to Chairman so that he could curl up beside Alec on the sofa. Magnus had huffed a little, in great dramatic jest claiming that Alec was stealing his cats right from under him, which was only stoked by the fact that when Magnus bent over to pick Church back up he curled closer into Alec's lap. Alec listened to Magnus' tirade in bemused silence, trying his best to keep a growing smile down and out of sight, simply looking up. Magnus wasn't exactly relaxing but he seemed happy, it was probably one of the most casual interactions they'd ever had. It was the same kind of pointless conversations he might have with one of his siblings, just being outrageous for the sake of being outrageous. He wasn't entirely sure what had brought out this side of Magnus but Alec wasn't going to complain.

   Magnus' energy didn't last forever however and he quickly quietened, taking to checking his potions ingredients inventory, making sure he had enough of everything, a task Alec was already aware he'd done last Wednesday. Alec could only watch as he trailed past each and every jar, tin, and box of every kind of magical item that could possibly be thrown into a potion, daring not to call attention to it and make Magnus feel awkward or anymore aimless than he already seemed.

   In the end, he'd suggested lunch and Magnus had practically jumped at the distraction so Alec figured it wasn't a bad idea.

  "You know I usually just magick something up," Magnus had announced rather suddenly as Alec got about to searching through Magnus' kitchen to find something easy he could feasibly make. "Although, of course, considering..." Magnus continued, trailing off slightly, causing Alec pause which perhaps was a little more obvious than he'd intended because Magnus was beginning to look away before he seemed to force up some more joie de vivre and added, "What with you being a mildly competent cook, for a Shadowhunter, I might as well exploit it while I can."

   Alec cast Magnus a sideways look, gauging to see how he should react, and he figured that, if Magnus didn't want to discuss it, he wouldn't bring his mood down needlessly, so he joined in, "Only the very basics."

   "Of course," Magnus teased with an overly sage nod, "I wouldn't want to push you beyond your limited capabilities."

   Alec resented the slight snort of laughter that may have brought out of him, although he was going to chose to describe it as a huff, but Magnus didn't seem to at all, grinning madly, looking ready to pounce on it at a moments notice, prompting Alec to quickly reply, "What about you?"

   "What about me?" Magnus had asked, still grinning wildly, voice filled with glee like he was a little kid who'd just discovered a big secret and was dying to share it, swinging his shoulders from side to side as he leant closer to Alec. Alec was well aware that Magnus could tell that Alec was desperate to change the subject but was relieved to find that he was letting him.

   "Do you cook? Beyond the basics of sandwiches I mean," Alec said, looking down to bread he was buttering for them.

   Magnus' grin died down a little but the wide smile was still there, it just wasn't teasing anymore, it was just a smile, apparently just for Alec. "I can cook," He said simply and Alec nodded slowly.

"Kind of vague," He replied, taking his turn to tease, giving Magnus his own smile, "What kind of things can you cook?"

"A lot of things," Magnus shrugged, still smiling and it was beginning to turn Alec a little manic. Rolling his eyes far too fondly before turning away back to his task at hand, yet he could still see Magnus in his peripheries, pursed lips trying to tap down on his smile. He'd almost given up on any further conversation until Magnus spoke up again, he couldn't see him anymore, couldn't see the smile, but it was in his voice, "I've been alive for hundreds of years Alec. I can cook anything you want."

   It wasn't long after lunch was over for the boredom to rear it's ugly head again. Alec, as a Shadowhunter, was used to a lot of waiting. In between missions and reports, there wasn't much to do once training requirements were met, especially for someone like Alec who, besides his siblings, hadn't much of a social life to speak of, so he was perfectly content to sit on one of Magnus' comfortable plush sofas and read one of the numerous books Magnus had until something came up. Magnus, on the other hand, was obviously _not_ used to this waiting around. Warlocks didn't tend to be stationary by nature, if you could create portals to anywhere in the world you wouldn't want to just sit there. And Magnus as his own person was very much an _un_ -stationary individual.

He'd made it about a fifth of the way through the first book before it was flung to the ground and upon catching Alec's own curious gaze invited him to read it for himself. And while Alec's reading focus remained consistently high, Magnus' only got worse and worse. He made it through just under a fifth with the second, a quarter with the third and fourth, five pages of the fifth, one chapter of the seventh, and about four words of the eighth, which continued through the ninth, tenth, and, _now_ , the eleventh.

   "Ugh!" Magnus exclaimed with an arm flung across his eyes, stretching out his legs down the full length of the sofa opposite Alec. He turned his head under his arm to peak an eye open at Alec. "How are you reading right now?"

"Uh...-" Alec replied hesitantly, rather helplessly really.

"I mean," Magnus continued as if Alec had remained silent, which to be honest, he probably might as well have, removing his arm from his face to look up to the ceiling and gesture wildly into the air. "It's not even that good of a book... what was it again?"

"Um, 'The Aeneid'?" Alec replied carefully, Magnus scoffed angrily, turning like whiplash to look at Alec, almost accusatory as he spoke.

"Well, did you know Virgil actually wanted to have it burned on his deathbed?"

"No, I didn't," Alec answered.

"Well now you know why I couldn't finish it," Magnus said, sounding very matter of fact, "I could see what Virgil meant."

   Honestly? Alec was relieved when the doorbell rang.

"Were we expecting visitors?" Magnus asks, shooting Alec a confused look at the sound.

"You should go and find out I guess," Alec shrugged, earning him only another quizzical look thrown his way from Magnus who got up slowly before moving to the door, shooting looks back to Alec along the way.

   Magnus stopped at the door, just staring at it, and Alec seriously considered that maybe he just wasn't going to open it when a distinctly disgruntled British voice called through the door,

"Are you going to let us in or not?"

   Immediately Magnus was swinging the door open, standing slack-jawed as his friends poured in, Ragnor, Catarina, and an already bored looking Raphael.

"Ragnor what on earth are you doing here?" Magnus asked incredulously.

"Some host you are," Raphael commented, walking straight past Magnus and over to a seat with a smirk.

"What are you all doing here?" Magnus asked again.

"We were invited Magnus," Catarina, at last, gently explained, although only further bewildering Magnus.

"By who? When?" Magnus asked again, and slowly, all of his friends turned to look towards Alec, sat feeling rather sheepish in the corner of the room as he watched the realisation fall upon Magnus, staring at Alec dumbstruck like Alec had just thrown him completely off kilter. "When?" He repeats, keeping Alec's gaze.

"Round about the fifth book you'd thrown to the floor," Alec answered honestly.

"So that's what happened here!" Ragnor yells as he and the others make their way to the sofas, "I was worried a small earthquake had hit your apartment."

Magnus nodded along to Ragnor a little vaguely, not really paying him much attention, he just keeps looking at Alec. Eyes squinting just a little, mouth a little agape, looking like he's just been struck across the head.

"Well," Alec announces, standing up abrupting, disrupting the moment, coughing and looking away to the floor, suddenly feeling far too out of place, "I really should leave you guys to it. I'll just-," He trails off, moving to pick up the discarded books when Ragnor speaks up again,

"Not at all! You should stay, let us get to know you."

"Ragnor we're not interrogating him," Catarina said sternly, throwing Alec a reassuring smile he tries to return but he knows came across as more of a grimace.

"When did I suggest an interrogation? Raphael did I suggest that?"

"If you think I've been listening to this inane conversation then you've been spending far too long in London," Raphael replies plainly and Ragnor throws a dismissive wave in his direction.

Ragnor turns instead, and says, "Magnus, tell your Shadowhunter he should stay."

   All eyes turn to Magnus, who apparently had still been looking at Alec all this while. With a snap turn of his head, Magnus is quite obviously caught off guard, "Oh, yes- yes," He says, clearing his throat a little, throwing Alec a drawn back glance, "You should stay."

///

*Magnus' P.O.V* 

   They're all sat around Magnus' coffee table. Magnus, still rather shocked at the appearance of his friends, was sat on the sofa beside Cat, Ragnor was sat alone, looking far too pleased with the situation, Raphael was sat alongside Alec on the sofa opposite, leaning back lazily and looking thoroughly disinterested, juxtaposing Alec, who was sat straight-backed, hands clasped, and tense, fingers tapping against each other.

   "Magnus, have you or Alec eaten?" Cat asks, she's the only one who appears to be taking the calm approach this evening, which makes Magnus relieved to be sat beside her considering his current state of continued shock and bafflement.

"Um, no- no," Magnus replies, "No we haven't eaten."

"Well... I could summon us some food? From that sushi place you like so much," Cat suggested, looking around the group, obviously looking for some form of encouragement.

"Catarina, you're forgetting the slight issue of Magnus' sensitivity to magic at the moment," Ragnor says rather matter-of-factly before turning an understanding face to Magnus, "Not that I don't think you could handle a small summoning but...," he trails off glancing over to Alec who takes a few seconds to register the attention on him, "What says the Shadowhunter?"

"Oh," Alec speaks up, looking honestly caught off guard. With a brief look of acknowledgement to Ragnor, he focuses in on Magnus, speaking rather carefully, as if with each pause he's trying to gauge Magnus' own opinions, "Well, I don't see any real danger with a small degree of magic, but I'd advise it stays minor, infrequent, and you should check with Magnus before performing anything..." He turns to check with the others, Cat nodding seriously, Ragnor nodding with a slightly impressed smile, and Raphael just waves the look away, before looking back to Magnus, "Okay?"

"Okay," Magnus nods shortly, not entirely sure if there's anything else he should say. It sounds reasonable like Alec had the answer prepared already, which, when Magnus thinks on it, isn't unlikely, Alec had probably given the situation some thought before he'd even invited them.

"Okay," Alec says again, sounding pleased.

 "So do I have the go-ahead to summon something up? Or maybe we don't even need to? Don't tell me you have nothing in your kitchen, Magnus," Cat says, laughing a little too lightly to be genuine and covering nothing but her continued concern. "After all, you do have someone besides yourself living here now."

"I have food but nothing that can be made as quickly as I would like it," Magnus says, putting on his own slightly too light smile, hoping to soothe her unease and any other remaining concern amongst his friends. "I have blood bags spare for Raphael of course but if Cat, you don't mind, could summon up some food while I get them that would be greatly appreciated."

   He gives them a moment's notice to speak up, offer another course of action and when, of course, none can be mustered up, he puts on another smile before standing, dusting himself off, and excusing himself to get the blood. 

   Cat, of course, could have summoned the blood just as easily alongside the meal but Magnus thought it better to give himself from distance from the magic, something that he was well aware was stupidly pointless, he carried his own with him wherever he went so why bother moving from Cat's? Still, perhaps he could hope that some sort of placebo effect would kick in and he'd feel none of the queasiness he knew would shortly arrive as the spell was cast. And besides all that, if he could for a second even just pretend to ignore the magic, his condition, all of it, at least this brief escape could help him come to complete terms about the evening.

   He hadn't even noticed Alec taking out his phone to invite his friends round, far too caught up in his own boredom obviously. He couldn't blame himself for his boredom, it was to be expected, no clients, no magic, no nothing with anything, just him, his cats, and Alec. He was surprised he had lasted so long before his boredom turned to slight bitterness and really Alec must be a saint to have dealt with his whining and complaining and apparent throwing of great literature about for so long. He knew there was bound to be more days like this, without his friends' late arrival, if his situation got worse and just being sat next to another magical person set him off, he'd be strictly confined to his apartment and he'd welcome it! He'd _hate_ it but he'd still insist on it, until he was better: if, when.

   But for now, his friends were here, thanks to Alec. Would Magnus never be done thanking him? Maybe he could start saying it just in advance? He'd run the idea by Alec later, it could be amusing although most likely Magnus will end up more charmed than amused, Alec apparently doesn't take gratitude easily but he takes it very well, or at least Magnus thinks so. His cheeks turn pink, eyes go a little wider, that constant head duck to try and hide his own embarrassment at the attention, even the good kind? It was rather endearing. But that wasn't what Magnus came away to think about...

   Brandishing any distracting thoughts in his head, Magnus begins busying himself about, reaching for a glass for Raphael's drink, stooping down to search through his fridge before reaching for the bag of A+ that he keeps stocked especially for when Raphael comes to visit, as rare as it is. He's just about finished squeezing every last drop of blood into the glass, beginning to entertain the possibility that the placebo effect worked, when in the very next second like some sort of cruel hubris Magnus feels just a little knocked back, coming back to feeling slightly nauseous, reaching a gripping hand to his countertop. His hand slips just a little, feeling faint as he blinks at the spots in front of his eyes, and no sooner has the idea of fainting entered his head, he backs into something solid.

   "Magnus," Alec says quietly, his hand's hovering just far enough away to not be touching him, but close enough for Magnus to tell he won't be allowed to fall. And maybe it was because of the physical contact last night that stopped his magic before, that was how Magnus was going to rationalise it but... Magnus lent back into him, just for a second. Or at least it was meant to be for a second. Because Alec's hands were curling around his arms, strong and there, turning him around slowly to face him.

"I'm fine, it's maybe a little bit like tempting providence... but I'm fine," He says, at last, clearing his throat and looking up, forcing a smile in Alec's direction, seeing only wide and conscious eyes staring right back at him.

"You sure?" Alec asks lowly, thumbs rubbing against Magnus' arms, the callous roughness of them seeping through the fabric of Magnus' shirt. And Magnus steps back out of his reach to grab Raphael's drink as he replies,

"I'm sure."

"Just nausea?" Alec asks, unmoving from where he stands, arms crossing, blocking Magnus into the kitchen although Magnus doesn't think he's aware he's doing so, his eyebrows knotted down and looking very 'on a mission'.

"Just nausea," Magnus affirms.

"Okay," Alec sighs, a little in relief, as his hands fall back to his sides, "Do you think you still handle the evening because I can send them home-,"

"I can handle it, Alec," Magnus interrupts gently, offering Alec a kind look, waiting for the concern in Alec's complexion to die down completely before continuing, "I want them to stay... and I'm glad you invited them."

And there's that bashful look again Magnus observes, Alec, ducking his head down a little, throwing a disarming smile Magnus' way as if to say _'it's nothing'_ when it's so the opposite to Magnus. "I'm glad you think so, I... I didn't want to overstep."

"You're not," Magnus assures him, not even surprised to find that it's true now, "Okay?"

"Okay," Alec smiles, happily. At last. "Okay," He repeats a little abruptly, after a moment of maybe slightly prolonged silence, "So- um, good. As long as you're still okay and- and everything's okay," He said in a way that made it seem as if he were still checking for assurance and that Magnus found mildly charming, "I'll go back to the others and... say you're on your way."

"Okay," Magnus replies, still endeared, watching him go.

   He stays just another minute, smiling just a little at the oddity that Alec Lightwood apparently was, before taking a breath, and moves to return to the group and deliver Raphael his drink,  turning out the door to find Cat, standing just a little down the way, leaning against the wall of the kitchen, watching him with an inquisitive eyebrow that just said _'what was that?'_

"Something to say, Catarina?" He asks, stepping to move past her but kept back where he was as she pushes from the wall to block his path.

"What was that?" She asks, slight suspicion lacing her tone.

"What was what?."

" _That_ smile," She replies, her tone far too knowing for Magnus to be entirely comfortable, "And after _that_ conversation. Is there anything you'd care to share Magnus?" 

"Me?" Magnus asks airily, moving once again to try and move past her but she sidesteps him too quickly, maybe he was becoming too predictable, or she knew him too well, both prospects were rather inconvenient for him at the moment.

"Yes you," Cat says, tired fondness falling into her words. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were beginning to sound fond? Enamoured maybe?"

"Oh please," Magnus laughs, ignoring the irritation the look Cat gives him in response fills him with as if she were saying the exact same thing back at him. "I'm just following your advice Cat, you wanted us to get along." Magnus shrugs, moving a step forward only to be kept pushed back.

"And now you are?"

"And now we're closer to that goal," He corrects shortly.

   She doesn't even say anything in return and Magnus doesn't know why but that might be worse. Instead, she just looks at him, smiling a little, eyes scanning across his face while he tries to keep it as passive and as expectant as possible but in the end, she only smiles sweeter and moves wordlessly to the side, letting him, at last, move past her.

///

  "You're telling the story all wrong!" Magnus exclaims, "This is outright defamation of character!"

"My friend there is only one way to correctly tell that story: truthfully. And I'm sorry but that was the truth," Ragnor replies calmly.

"This is outrageous and I shouldn't have to stand for it in my own home," Magnus retorts.

"Come on Magnus," Cat laughs, smiling widely, "You just don't want us exposing you in front of your new friend."

"That is not at all true!" He yells, "I am simply pioneering the truth!"

"And the fact of the matter Magnus is that Oscar Wilde simply didn't want to sleep with you!" Cat yells in return although far more gleefully than him, then looking over to Alec who was sat, looking thoroughly amused, mock whispered, "He thought he had no style."

"That is not true!" Magnus yelled, his cries falling on apparently deaf ears as Ragnor nodded seriously,

"Very style conscious Oscar, rather out there if you ask me but... to each their own," then looking to Alec he went on, "Very obsessed with sticking feathers places they really needn't be. Who needs feathered wallpaper?"

"Well considering his last words I doubt he thought they looked all that stylish in the end either," Cat grinned.

"The point is he didn't sleep with Magnus," Raphael concluded, apparently the only friend Magnus that had who could keep his composure, as he sat looking very much done with this discussion.

"You weren't even born!" Magnus cries while Raphael shrugs in his classic _so what attitude_ , it was always in times like these, get-togethers like these, that Magnus saw Raphael revert very obviously back into the original young man Magnus had helped all those years ago, it was bittersweet yes but also _so fucking annoying._

"Okay, okay, that's enough," Cat says, patting Magnus a little condescendingly on the back if you asked him, "We can tell good Magnus stories now."

"Those were good stories," Ragnor shrugs as Cat rolls her eyes and Magnus tries not to throw too many death glares Ragnor's way.

"I want to know about Alec now," Cat announces, ignoring them both and sitting further forward in her seat, turning closer in Alec's directions, who very rapidly looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Oh, I-, uh- I don't-," Alec stumbles, immediately moving back in his seat as if that would help his case, flashing a look to Magnus in support.

"Oh, yes," Ragnor agreed, either ignoring or perhaps, and more likely knowing Ragnor, revelling in Alec's discomfort, "That sounds much better."

"We don't even know if he has any interesting stories," Raphael commented, still sounding bored yet Magnus could tell otherwise, he was sitting up properly now and actually giving Alec a modicum of his attention, even if it was in the form of a disparaging, cursory look.

"Doesn't have to be stories," Ragnor smiled, and if Alec had known Ragnor for as long as Magnus had, he'd have known to run away from that smile, "We can just ask questions."

"Doesn't that sound like the original interrogation Cat said _wouldn't_ happen earlier?" Magnus decides to point out, he's not entirely sure if he wants the questioning to go ahead or not, on one hand, Alec looks as if he's being cornered by a set of particularly nosy Shax demons, but on the other... it is Alec's turn.

"You don't mind, do you, Alec? Ragnor inquires pleasantly, ignoring Magnus' comments altogether so it didn't really matter.

Alec throws Magnus a second sideways glance, quite obviously seeking assistance. Looking at his big, wide, hazel, fear-filled eyes... Magnus smiles. And to his credit, Alec must be a fast learner as no sooner does he realise he'll be getting no help from Magnus, he replies, sounding firm, and gritting out a polite smile, "Not at all."

   Magnus tries not to feel too bad about what's about to happen.

///

   The 'interrogation' or 'getting to know Magnus' new friend' as Ragnor called it actually wasn't panning out as painful as Magnus had expected it to be, maybe even hoped. Not out of any malicious intent, of course, just that if Magnus had to be ridiculed then he didn't see why Alec couldn't be as well, although given Magnus' friends who shouldn't be shocked to discover they find more joy in exposing him. Plus maybe it could have just been fun, getting to know Alec better...

Yet, given the Lightwood family reputation, and their long-standing at the New York Institute, and their activity in many Shadowhunter/Downworlder affairs over the many many years, most of the basic and also the hard-hitting stuff were already out in the open for people to know, and apparently, that wasn't even what Ragnor wanted to know.

   He asked a lot about Alec's siblings, his sister Isabelle, who earned herself some praise, his parabati, who warned himself some mockery, which Alec even encouraged at points, and a younger brother Max, who Alec was very tight-lipped about but very obviously fond and Magnus was surprised to see Ragnor allow that topic to slide given Alec's protectiveness. But mainly Ragnor just asked _about_ Alec, not stories or statistics, but his hobbies, likes, dislikes, the truly mundane stuff. And as Alec went on with his answers, Magnus found himself becoming more and more interested in hearing them.

"Ah, so he's a Shakespeare buff!" Ragnor exclaims sounding as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

"A Shakespeare _buff_?" Alec repeats looking from to Cat and Magnus for guidance.

"He means you're a fan, Alec," Magnus aides, smiling at the confusion flitting across Alec's face.

"A little above a fan I'd say," Ragnor counters pointedly, "Do you have a favourite, Alec?"

"Oh, um I guess Julius Caesar, or the Twelfth Night," Alec answers.

"Why?"

"Why?" Alec repeats as Ragnor watches smilingly.

"Yes, why?"

"I guess because Julius Caesar was the first one I'd ever read, and Twelfth Night is Izzy's favourite and I used to read it to her when she was little," Alec explains and Magnus can almost picture a little Alec reading Shakespeare and the bedside of any even littler Isabelle.

"An unusual first choice to read," Ragnor notes idly as Alec shrugs,

"We had others, Romeo and Juliet and Midsummer Night's Dream," Alec listed, "All of that. But-."

"But the Institute preferred you to read educating tragedies over romantic?" Ragnor interrupted, Magnus, watching him smirk a little over how Alec nodded, "No doubt your parents used King Lear as the basis for educating children to never try and surpass their parents?"

"While I would never be one to defend the Institute that is a legitimate interpretation of the play," Magnus notes over his glass of wine as Ragnor gives him a conceding nod.

///

   Beyond the questioning, Magnus found himself enjoying the company around him, easing gradually after all displays of magic had ended with only minors cases of discomfort over how close he may have been sitting next to Cat or Ragnor. Even Alec seemed to be slowly allowing himself to enjoy himself, growing in confidence, and therefore snark, with Ragnor, which Magnus wouldn't lie, made him feel a little proud. And while Alec and Raphael didn't talk much at all they seemed to have come to an unspoken agreement and appeared perfectly content to sit in silence beside each other and just listen to everyone else. And honestly, Magnus just tried to keep Cat away from Alec, which was ironic as he had originally thought she would be the better of his three friends to have bond with him, but since his and Cat's conversation in the hallway, and her ever-increasing smug and knowing looks since between both him and Alec... Magnus decided it was best to distance them. So as to not encourage whatever it was that had Cat so bemused.

   Of course, Magnus didn't always get what he wanted.

"So what do you find to do to pass the time?" Cat was asking Alec as they stood leaning by the bar, "That is when you aren't taking very good care of my friend."

Alec smirked just a little at that, apparently quickly picking up on his friends teasing easier and easier as the evening went by, "Much the same as I did at the Institute. Train? Magnus provided me with basically the same stuff I have at the Institute in my room here, so I'm not really missing out on much there," Alec explained, shooting a grateful look Magnus' way, "Other than that, I guess the cats are fun distractions I'd never really had before," He adds and Magnus is rather pleased with the fond look that crosses Alec's face when he mentions the cats, "Um, TV? Never really watched that before. Reading? A lot of reading, Magnus has an uh-," He pauses, one corner of his lips lilting up rather devastatingly as he glanced over to Magnus, "a much more extensive library than the one at the Institute."

"You like reading then?" Cat asks.

"Yeah, I mean it was basically one of the only relaxing past times we're allowed at the Institute unless you got out somewhere on your breaks," Alec shrugs.

"And you never did?" 

"That was more Izzy and Jace's thing, plus my mother always needed me there," Alec replies.

"To run things I imagine," Ragnor says, walking over to join the group at the bar as Alec shrugs dismissively, "And you mentioned reading?" Ragnor continues, reaching out to hand Alec a book he'd lifted on his way over, "'The Aeneid'?"

Taking the book, Alec scratches almost shyly at the back of his neck, glancing to Magnus, another devasting, knowing, smile teasing at his lips, and Magnus tries to keep his focus on meeting his eye, not that that is any easier, "Yeah, it's good. Not the Odyssey or anything..."

"Ah," Ragnor grins, and Magnus worries over the look he gives Magnus at that, "A man after Magnus' own heart then I see."

Alec scratches again at his neck, chuckling a little awkwardly perhaps, "Magnus may have mentioned his own preference before yes."

"I always thought you were more of an Iliad kind of man?" Cat asks, giving Magnus some relief to grab on to.

"Apparently I can't decide between the three," Magnus says instead, ignoring the look Ragnor's sending him completely and moving instead around the bar, "Anyone want another drink?"

"Well, I know Alec doesn't," Raphael announces casually as he walks back into the room from the balcony.

"Long phone call Raphael," Magnus observes as Raphael scoffs on his way over.

"Fledging," Raphael says shortly.

"Simon?" Alec asks curiously and Raphael nods silently as he finishes the drink he'd already left behind.

"Clumsiest learner I've ever trained," He states frankly, "Apparently he practised his heightened hearing on a... private conversation, and now I have to make sure he doesn't get mauled."

"You're leaving?" Magnus asks then as Raphael nods, already pulling on his coat.

"It was... enlightening," he says plainly.

"Enlightening?" Magnus repeats quizzically, squinting his eyes and shaking his head, waiting for an explanation that never comes, only a smirk and Raphael's promise to talk later. "Alright then, what about the rest of you? And Alec ignore Raphael, drink if you want."

"I'm fine," Alec replies.

"I ought to be leaving too actually," Ragnor says, looking to his watch, "Time zones and all that, besides I'm not 400 anymore, it's late."

"When did you stop being fun?" Magnus asks sarcastically, earning him a rather withering smile in return.

"When you started having too much for the both of us my dear," Ragnor returned with the same smile and was halfway to the door when he paused, turning, "Actually, could I have a portal?"

Magnus stifled almost instantly, the very sudden request for his magic making him feel it bubble under to just under his palm, "Oh, I don't-."

"Just checking Magnus," Ragnor interrupts, "I can walk the block and portal myself from there."

"I'll portal with you," Cat says, stepping towards the door herself now.

"You're leaving as well?" Magnus asks.

"I just got a message from Dot, she needs me to bring her some ingredients," Cat explains, "I'll make to portal us both far enough out of range that you might feel it through the wards."

"Alright well at least let me walk you out," Magnus says, "Alec, could you-"

"I'll begin clearing up don't worry about it," Alec says quickly.

"Thank you."

///

  Ragnor hurried himself on to find a place for them to portal, leaving Cat to give both their proper goodbyes to Magnus alone.

 "I am sorry about having to leave so early," Cat says sincerely, "If Dot didn't need-."

"I know," Magnus smiled gently, "Really I'm just glad you could come, that you were here at all... and yes, what about Dot?"

Cat looked ready to ask what he meant when she caught on, smirking just a little, "That's a rich question to be coming from you of all people, but I'll actually give you something... Dot and I, we're working towards, _something_."

"'Something'? How vague," Magnus grins.

"Oh, please," Cat admonishes playfully, rolling her eyes at him, "You can't talk."

"I have no idea what you're trying to get at Catarina but whatever it is it's not true," Magnus replies indignantly as Cat just smiles on.

"For what it's worth," She says after a moment, looking like she's preparing to finally go at any moment, "I haven't told Dot anything. I'm going to let you do that, in your time."

"Thank you," Magnus replies.

"But-," she starts again, hand already on the bannister to leave, a grin playing on the corners of her mouth and Magnus knows something is coming, "She likes Alec."

"Good," he replies neutrally.

"She approves of him too," she adds and Magnus knows approval to mean something else entirely.

"There's nothing for her to approve," Magnus states dismissively, waving a hand away at the idea.

"Isn't there?" Cat asks, and Magnus is all prepared to scoff until he catches her eye, imploring and not at all joking, even with the slight smile, which worries him. And he tries to form a reply, it's the only thing his mind can really focus on attempting, but nothing's coming and knows how that must look. But it isn't an answer, it isn't his answer. Whatever that might have been,

 

Still, with his silence, Magnus had never seen Cat look bittersweet before, at least he can't remember ever having done so, so if he has he bets it looks a lot like the look she's giving him now.

"He'd make a good friend... at the very least," She says at last, not at all sounding like she's said what she wants to say, whatever that is. "You should maybe try and let him become one."

   Magnus just watches her leave, watches long after she's gone, just staring at where she left. _Try and let him._ If that's not what he's been working on then what has he been doing? If not Alec's friend then what? 

Actually. Magnus doesn't want that answer.

///

"Well, that certainly was eventful," Magnus announced, clapping his hands as he shut the door behind him.

  Alec looks up, he's cleared away all the food and plates and glasses and begun picking up all the discarded books from before and slots them away into the shelves again, surprisingly he's actually remembering to put them in the same places as before, although maybe Magnus shouldn't be surprised anymore. Magnus just watches him for a moment longer, at how Alec studies the book carefully before placing it back in, holding the books lightly, gingerly, smoothing over upturned pages that may have bent after Magnus had thrown them, slotting them all in one by one, perfectly each time.

"Thank you," Magnus says abruptly, just before Alec can put the last book away.

"What for?" Alec asks, looking confused, and Magnus almost smiles.

"For this?" Magnus asks, slowly making his way over to Alec, "For dealing with me all day," He adds, not quite as a joke.

"I don't know if I'd call it dealing with you," Alec says with a lopsided grin like he thinks Magnus is teasing him again before he must realise he's not. "But you don't have to thank me, you always thank me."

Magnus huffs out a small laugh, looking down at his feet for a second before looking back up to meet Alec's eye, "I was just thinking about that earlier actually. Imagined I should just begin thanking you in advance to save me from having to bombard you with it later."

"You don't know," Alec shrugs, "I could get really mean."

Magnus actually laughs at that, happy to see Alec laugh with him a little, "Somehow I doubt that."

"How's your magic?" Alec asks after a moment.

"Oh," Magnus says, looking to his heads, still a little marred, whatever Alec put on him appears to have been working, "Aside from the summoning and general... _unease_ when in, what I regarded as, too close a proximity to Cat, or Ragnor, I've no complaint."

"None?" Alec checks and Magnus looks away, knowing it a better answer than any.

"There was the slight moment when Ragnor asked, for a portal, that I felt _unsteady_ in my hands. Like there was a very fine line between my control, and my magic," Magnus explains, waiting for Alec to reply but looking to see only his concern as he nodded... rather emphatically.

"The point is that that didn't happen, that nothing happened," Alec replied, "And that it didn't hurt. Right?"

"It didn't hurt," Magnus agreed, deciding to omit the more... psychological toll of the sensation. Feeling that, if asked to expose himself to it, his magic might not be safe under his hands at a moment's notice, that he'd been to prepare to use it. That it might not be able to act on a whim anymore.

"Do you want me to put more on your burns?" Alec asks, pulling Magnus from his thoughts, "It should have them almost completely healed for your checkup tomorrow."

Magnus had almost managed to forget about that. "If you don't mind," he says with a sigh meant to be more dramatically amusing than tired, maybe it came off as a bit of both but Alec doesn't comment.

   Magnus leads Alec back to his bedroom, pulling out the first aid kit that he may have to invest more in if this healing process becomes more regular as his condition worsens.

   Alec sets to work silently like he always does. In theory, Magnus thinks he might be able to make quicker work of it this time, considering how there's less physical damage to mend but Alec, true to form, works as methodically as before. Hands moving slowly across Magnus', barely touching him with anything other than the cloth really but then, when he does, when the cloth skims a little and Alec's own rough hand grazes Magnus' otherwise pristine... Magnus doesn't know. But it's something.

"Ahem," Alec coughs a little when he's finished, drawing his back as soon as he's done, looking up a little wide-eyed at Magnus before clearing his throat again and smiling, "There, it should finish up on its own now."

"Thank you," Magnus says, smiling wider when Alec does at the possible thousandth thanks he's given this past day alone. "I told you I should start giving them in advance."

"Maybe," Alec replies, still smiling, almost whispering, maybe he just sounds soft.

"Maybe," Magnus repeats, not for any reason really, Alec was agreeing with him. Magnus just didn't want to _not_ reply. Glancing down and away though, just to give himself a chance, he spies the last book Alec was yet to put away and carried in with him, "You can borrow that, keep it in your room until you're finished."

"Hm?" Alec wonders, looking down to the book, smiling just a little, and picks it up, "You sure you approve?"

Magnus hums in content consideration, ignoring the devastation that is Alec Lightwood smiling cheekily on his bedside, cloaked in the growing darkness from the outside, eyes shining in spite of the darkness.

"The Aeneid is alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hi.  
> I could give a multitude of excuses for why I'm like Super Duper late - for instance: the original start of the chapter died on me and I had to restart and... not fun. BUT really all I can say is sorry but also thank you for everyone being super nice and super patient so thank you.
> 
> Next chapter will actually be a day early in you can believe that 15th of August because the 16th is my exam results so I won't have time to update that day so I'll do it the day before. 
> 
> Tried to make this one a bit longer, bit fluffier, so I hope you all like it cause the comments I get will help me survive a day of family obligations tomorrow/today and then get me through the week till my results. <3


	9. Chapter Nine - Definitely the Start of Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi.  
> I know it's been... a WHILE to say the least. But I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who's left comments during my absence and really just been super nice and patient! I hope the wait will be worth it with this chapter!  
> In terms of the story you are entering into the 'Good' week... don't think too hard about what that means for the next week...

Magnus' P.O.V

Magnus didn't think it looked any worse, although it didn't look any better either...

He'd showered, pointedly avoiding his wound. He'd been half convinced that his magic would slip out from under his own hands and burn him... irrational of course, he knew that, or, well, he used to. Now anything might be possible. And the dream hadn't helped.

The nightmare really.

He hadn't known he was dreaming at first. Everything was as it should have been. He was in his study, brewing a potion, he didn't know what kind. It was just a potion. It hadn't seemed important to note what kind, apparently his subconscious just knew exactly what to do, what to put in, how much, what temperature, what spells. He hadn't questioned it. It was a blur really, a hazy, lazy, blur, where time moved into one. The kind of comfortable blur where you barely have to think of what to do next, it's just an instinct at this point, and he could trust his instincts. In reality, Magnus can barely remember being capable of feeling that at ease. Which is idiotic, but also the truth. It's been a week since he'd felt that confident about magic.

The potion had been fine. He had been brewing the potion one moment and the next he was on the phone to Ragnor, his magic still stirring over the cauldron. He had been talking something inane, he remembers the vague inclination that Ragnor was scoffing at him, rolling his eyes all the way through the phone. Magnus had actually felt rather good about himself then. But of course, that can never last.

The potion popped. And at the exact same time, the line had gone dead.

It was like the time with the vampire, his arm was gripped tight in place, hovering over the potion, nothing seemed out of place besides that, he just couldn't move. The potion began to bubble, it was blue Magnus remembered. Very, very, dark blue. It was vividly the last clear observation he'd actually been able to make before his magic began to slip. At first, it might have been his imagination, a lick of a wisp at his fingers, but no, the torrent started soon after, then, of course, the burning - although Magnus can't even be sure if it hurt, it felt like it should have hurt. Plumes of smoke pummeling from his hands, from everywhere actually. The hand over the cauldron, the hand by his side, leeching from under his clothes... and it wasn't the kind of smoke you choked in, it was the kind you drowned in.

He's not sure if Alec had existed in his dream until this moment. He hadn't felt like he had, it felt like Magnus was still the only soul in his apartment until the exact moment he needed the second... He remembers more after that. A lot more.

But now he's awake and what good is it dwelling on dreams. The wound doesn't look any worse and that counts from something. The webs of black something still shoot out across his skin, the area immediately around the puncture is still blotched an infectious looking red, the hole from the needle's straight exit in the centre is still black... But it's not the longest a wound of his has taken to heal so no matter.

There's a knock at his door before Alec appears behind the door, already dressed and geared to go, speaking absentmindedly as he turns to look in, "Hey Magnus are you ready to- Oh!" He looks like he's just walked in on Magnus naked, really he's only shirtless, but still, Alec averts his gaze immediately, colouring rising noticeably high on those cheekbones of his even if he turns to the side to give Magnus more privacy, "I didn't know you were still getting dressed."

How can Magnus not smile at him? He could tease him, Magnus would love to see where that could get him, but Alec already looks ready to bolt which Magnus realises he isn't quite ready for yet, they haven't even got to the "good mornings" yet. So he decides to take pity and pull a shirt on, spelling the buttons done up.

"There," Magnus announces happily, moving closer to Alec, "Crisis averted."

Alec manages to look at him out of the corner of his eye and Magnus finds himself relishing in how Alec swallows as Magnus smiles up at him. "I'll-," Alec chokes a little, clearing his throat to continue, "I'll wait longer next time. Sorry."

"Don't be," Magnus smiles, Alec really is too hard on himself. Placing a light hand on Alec's arm Magnus keeps going, "There's really no need. But...," He heaves a dramatic sigh, "if it means that much to you: you are forgiven"

He likes how the corner of Alec's mouth lifts up at that, into an almost smile. The only thing that can beat it is the real one.

He likes how close they are too. He shouldn't. He knows he shouldn't. But he likes it. Maybe it was because of when Alec stopped his magic, or maybe it was even before all of that... but Magnus likes it here, being this close. It feels almost too natural to be alarmed by, even though he'll reprimand himself for thinking so later.

Alec's eyes seem to be searching him... not openly, not wildly, but Magnus can tell he is. He doesn't think he would have been able to tell if he wasn't as close as he was. But Alec's looking at him, looking for something. Alec' eyes flicker across Magnus as though he's not sure where to look or if he even can, which is ridiculous - why wouldn't Magnus want him to look at him? His mouth was open too. Like he was still deciding on whether or not he had something to say at all. His eyes dip for only a moment but when they do something seems to make him lose his nerve, or whatever it was that this was. Coughing a little to clear the air as he moves back, away from Magnus' reach. When he looks back up he's swallowing again, and his eyes keep dropping back down to whatever it is that got him all caught up.

"Your-," He's still a little choked... and he's not meeting Magnus' eyes, much. Magnus follows his gaze this time, reaching a couple of unbuttoned holes in his shirt that, typically, his magic missed.

"Can't even button my own shirts now," He says and he hopes it's lighthearted enough to make both him and Alec relax.

"We have to go to the Institute," Alec says, clear this time, a lot more composed, clasping his own hands behind his back. Magnus has to blink a couple of times to catch up with the change in atmosphere. What was that that people say about good things never lasting?

Alec's P.O.V

  
This was the kind of shirtless he could handle. He could detach himself from this. He could expect this and prepare for this. Magnus sitting on a medical table, shirt off and draped over his legs, while Isabelle skims over his wounds and taking scrawling notes as she goes, asking questions at a mile a minute, Alec stood carefully by Magnus' side should he be needed. He knew this was coming. This was fine.

This morning... that caught Alec off guard. Magnus stood shirtless in front of a mirror, the room an organised dishevelment of strewn robes and clothes Magnus had discarded, by the open window, with its curtains pulled wide open, throwing Magnus in the golden light that Alec wasn't convinced didn't follow Magnus everywhere he went. Alec didn't know where all this was coming from. Well. That wasn't true. He knew were at least part of it was coming from. He couldn't even say the feelings had crept up on him because it was all so much faster than that. Magnus just _was_ beautiful. Since the start, since always. And Alec had very quickly realised and accepted the fruitlessness of trying to fend off recognising that fact, and how it made him feel. But he had been caught off guard by how often he would be shocked by it, after not seeing Magnus for mere hours, suddenly seeing him, looking like _that_ no less, Alec hadn't been ready.

"So what's the verdict Doctor," Magnus asked as Izzy put her pen down at last. He was trying to appear light, like he hadn't been whirling his rings around his fingers outside the Institute before Izzy had let them in.

Isabelle offers a reassuring smile before reading from her notes, "It's still complicated, which I know sounds like a complete cop out of an answer." She does sound genuinely apologetic, which Alec more than anyone knows to be true. Isabelle has cut more than one call short so that she could go back to looking back over Magnus' results, and her observations, all her research. Nothing frustrates Isabelle more than when she can't find the answer, especially when it's a case such as this, especially when she genuinely likes Magnus. Alec wishes he could do more for her, for them both, just to make things better, "It's not infected. You're not infected. Well, not in the medical sense. It does _look_ like you're infected. The red blotchiness, the general discolouration, all the shooting from the wound. But that's only the wound, it's appearance. Your body as a whole shows none of the signs. No fever whatsoever, there's no expansion of any of the other signs either. Nothing. Besides you being, I suspect, a little tired and... well, majorly stressed, you're healthy. Fine."

"And magically speaking?" Magnus asks and Isabelle sighs, fingerings clenching tighter around her clipboard. 

"It's an infection. It has to be. Your bloods are fine, it's not your blood. The skin tissue is fine, it's not your body. I _can't_ analyse magic, that one is all observation and," she glances sideways to Alec and back to Magnus again, "so far observations have been sporadic at best." Magnus nods morosely, Alec can see the clench in his jaw, the tightness and the ebbing in of exhaustion at the situation he's been subjected to.

"But it has to be an infection," Isabelle continues, sounding almost desperate to give Magnus something to go on, "That means it'll pass. Whatever those webs are, will die out, and your magic will settle."

"But it gets worse before it gets better? Isn't that what you said?" Magnus asks.

"That's still the hypothesis yes," Isabelle answers sadly, "If I had more insight into the serum Valentine gave you I could tell you more, but as it stands I have nothing and quite honestly I'm not ruling out the possibility of Valentine having a whole new serum concocted for him. One we have no record off."

"So it's hopeless?" Magnus says, and Alec can't tell if it's a question or a statement of fact. He glances over to Magnus, who still looks sternly ahead at his sister, all taut and angry and frustrated and a million other things that he doesn't deserve.

"Hey," Alec whispers, head already shaking minutely, his hand finding Magnus' elbow on instinct, pulling his attention back, Magnus' back already slumping back a little, eyes looking maybe a little-surprised past all the other emotions held there, "No, okay? No, we'll figure something out." He feels almost stern as he looks at Magnus, he's not angry, not at Magnus, he just doesn't want Magnus thinking like that. Not at all.

Magnus looks at him for a beat longer and he has a half smile for just a moment that Alec doesn't even know what was for, but it felt like it was for something, meant something. Something more than just a thank you.

"Alec's right Magnus," Isabelle says gently, tearing Alec back to the third person in the room - Magnus has a way of making him forget about that. She looks between them both before adding, "There's a mission, tonight, that I'm leading. Jace will be there, so will Clary, a whole list of others... I'm not exactly supposed to be talking about it like this. But we're raiding an area that we think might just have been a past hideout of Valentine's and I mean, we don't know, I can't say for certain, but maybe we'll find something out there, or at the very least something that will lead us to that."

Magnus' P.O.V

It's like at the mention of a mission Alec becomes a different person, more of a Shadowhunter, but also more obviously a big brother. He stands straighter, his hand slips away from Magnus' arm, his face becomes a lot more questioning, eyebrows furrowed, squinting eyes. It's adorable, if not also rather hot.

"Have you told me about this already?" He asks.

"Not this one, like I said, it's bigger," Isabelle eases calmly, "But I've told you about the smaller scale skirmishes. Nearly always with a small group of forsaken showing up at the spots we pick to investigate, which leads to believe it's all linked, meaning, this big one should hold a lot more answers."

"And a lot more forsaken," Alec points out and Isabelle smiles a little.

"I know, and I've prepared for that possibility as well."

"Do you have a choice for backup set up?"

"Only the very best," Isabelle says, still smiling, growing wider as Alec slowly deflates.

"I know you'll do great," Alec says, at last, giving Isabelle a smile in return even if it is small.

"Of course I will," She smiles, "I'm the one planning it."

"That's fair," Alec allows, turning back to Magnus he smiles almost conspiratorily, "Jace and Clary have a habit of not planning at all."

"A habit of giving you more headaches than you deserve don't you mean?" Isabelle grins and Alec only smirks in reply, which Magnus grins at, taking it as reply enough.

***

"Don't you have clients?" Alec asks confusedly, nonetheless following Magnus through the loft.

"Not on medical days Alec, how unprofessional do you think I am?" He teases, throwing a grin over his shoulder than Alec rolls his eyes at - fondly. Magnus is able to tell the difference now. He's not lying either. Well. He is. Sort of. He always said he'd talk days off from clients if he was ill or magically exhausted, it's what Cat, Ragnor, Raph, Dot... everyone, told him to do. And he agreed. It was one of his rules. He just broke it all the time, every time really.

But not today, not now, not when he's sure his magic could flip with any spell, even if it is to just cause minor mistakes and errors. The possibility for catastrophe was a growing realisation Magnus was beginning to expect with each flick of the wrist. 

Today he would take the day off.

"Come on Alec," He said, throwing all of that away to turn suddenly, dramatically, extravagantly, behind his cocktail bar and grin up to Alec, stood a few more feet away, watching with curious apprehension that was becoming a regular reaction of Alec's more and more to Magnus. Which Magnus quite enjoyed it. He liked being able to see himself slowly win Alec over to his side. See the transition he loved so much that always lead to a fond eyeroll, a dismissive scoff that fell away to a smile, just for Magnus. "Live a little."

Alec rolls his eyes, huffing out a small laugh before he slowly moves towards Magnus, "I don't even know what I'd want."

Magnus can't help but grin, "That's why I'm here."

"I just don't want you to be wasting anything on me," Alec replies, shrugging dismissively.

"If it takes me a million tries to find you a drink you'd happily have again I'll do it," Magnus soothes pacifyingly, stuttering his movements a little as he watches Alec's concern shift into shy gratefulness, it's a good look for him. "Besides," Magnus adds, hoping to take back some control, "It's just fun."

Alec laughs then and whatever grip Magnus had on his emotions slips away completely.

***

"So, what's the verdict? Cherries or no cherries?" He asks. He doesn't know how long they've been doing this: Magnus mixing every drink he can think of, concocting up a few of his own, at one point Alec had suggested taking down notes to make the process more efficient and Magnus hadn't been able to tell if he was joking or deadly serious. Magnus had gotten the notebook.

He looked from over his own drink to watch Alec take another sip from his drink, he looked so serious, even now, after his dozenth drink, like his decision really mattered - which it did, of course, it did, Magnus wanted to cater to what Alec actually wanted, but Alec was thinking it over as if it was a key strategic variable in a mission. 

His lips were stained red just a little - from the cherries. His hair had gotten a little more dishevelled - he ran his hand through it a lot when he was thinking of what ingredients Magnus should add. He'd unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt somewhere around the fourth drink and there was a small stain on the bottom corner of his shirt from where he'd spilt his first drink after Magnus had magicked it into his hands - he insisted it had been his own fault and not Magnus' magic. He sucked his bottom lip in every once and a while when he was thinking... Magnus knew that noticing these little things weren't doing him any good, but it was hard not to when they were all right there in front of him.

"I like the cherries," Alec said at last and Magnus smiled, making a note on the page to remember for next time.

   Magnus didn't know what they were doing. They hadn't eaten since the Institute when Isabelle had insisted on them staying for lunch and it was growing in darkness now. Alec was turning on lamps around the room while Magnus made them even more drinks. He wasn't drunk, he'd gained a rather impressive tolerance by this stage in his very long life. Alec wasn't drunk either, even with his lack of really _any_ prior experience, Magnus had soon sussed out that Alec prefers his drinks low on alcohol and high on flavour. He did seem a little tipsy though, he still had all the balance one should expect of a highly skilled Shadowhunter but somewhere around drink seven, he formed an almost permanent blush plastered high on his cheeks.

"Magnus?" Alec's voice brings him out of whatever haze he'd found himself in. 

"Hm?" He asked, blinking rapidly for a moment before focusing back in on Alec.

"You were... staring at me. Just, for a really long time," Alec answered, moving towards the bar, looking concerned, "If you're tired of making drinks we can stop. It has been hours and if you want to sleep or-"

"Oh!" Magnus interrupted, startling Alec enough to stop, "No, no. I'm sorry... just, fazed out a little is all. I was thinking."

"About what?" Alec asked, stood at the bar now, satisfied that Magnus was alright but nonetheless curious.

Magnus could have listed off a thousand things but settled on the easiest.

"We just haven't eaten in a while."

Alec immediately frowns and looks to his watch, "Shit," Alec breathes, "Um, yeah, empty stomach and alcohol... not a good mix. Empty stomach at all isn't good. We should eat."

Magnus smiles at Alec's seemingly genuine horror, "Do you have much experience with alcohol on an empty stomach?"

"Not personally," Alec replies, "But Jace and Izzy... the stories I could tell you."

"Oh well, now you'll have to tell me," Magnus grins, feeling even giddier when Alec matches it.

"After we eat," He orders strictly.

"Yes, sir," Magnus salutes and Alec glares at him goodnaturedly.

"Just... come on," He replies, rolling his eyes and throwing a jacket on.

"Where to?"

***

"A food truck?" Magnus asks and it's impossible to keep his scepticism out of his voice.

He hears Alec scoff in front of him before he turns around to face him, "Just trust me on this one, alright?" He smiles before turning to the woman in the truck, "Two burgers please." When he turns back he's already handing Magnus his burger, and already biting into his own. He chokes out a small laugh at the doubtless look of incredulity on Magnus' face.

"It won't bite," He grins, voice muffled, mouth filled with food, before leading them both over to a park bench, and Magnus has to restrain from making that joke that he does - he thinks Alec would actually choke then.

Alec watches him, thoroughly amused, as they take their seats. Watching closely as Magnus takes his first bite, grinning even more at the noise of surprise Magnus can help but let escape.

"How do you know about this place?" He asks.

"Food trucks are a staple of boring patrols, it's an easy way to kill time and it's nicer than what we can get at the Institute. You can quickly discover which places are the best as well," Alec explains.

"And is this one your favourite?"

"One of them," Alec smiles, "There's this really great sandwich place just around the corner from the Institute."

"You'll have to take me there sometime," Magnus states, maybe a little bold but Alec's smile doesn't change.

"Remind me and I definitely will."

***

"I just never really thought Shadowhunters had the time to explore," Magnus says as they make their way back into the loft, Magnus throwing his jacket back down on the sofa before moving over to the bar again. He's teasing, he knows he's teasing, but he likes how indignant Alec gets.

"I wouldn't call it exploring Magnus, I just know where's best to eat while out on patrol."

"And where's cheapest."

"Well it's not as if the Shadowhunter payroll really allows for lobster or steak, does it?" Alec asks, and he's smiling so Magnus knows it's okay to laugh.

"I can cook you a steak Alec, just say the word."

"We can save it for a special occasion," Alec smiles. "More drinks?" He continues, following Magnus to the bar and Magnus pauses mid-movement as he reaches for a clean glass.

"You're not bored of it, are you? Because we can do something different. I have movies, lots and lots of movies," He's already moving away from the bar and over to the tv, he feels desperate, stupidly, idiotically desperate. He doesn't want this to end. This. Whatever this is. The bonding. The teasing. The getting to look at Alec a bit more closely than he could before. "Did I ever tell you about how I almost landed the starring role in Casablanca? Cat made me turn it down though, said it would be bad for my 'immortal image'."

Alec's short laugh cuts him off and Magnus turns back around.

"I wasn't suggesting we stop Magnus," He smiles, "I liked making drinks with you. And... as interesting as I'm sure Casablanca is we haven't actually figured out my favourite drink."

Magnus doesn't stop the exhale of relief that flows through him when Alec finishes.

"Drinks it is then."

***

"Can I make you something?"

Alec's says it so quietly that Magnus' not sure if we even said it, but then he looks over to Alec and he looks so nervous he can't _not_ have said it.

"Of course you can!" Magnus exclaims, hoping to bolster Alec, "You don't need to ask."

He moves to the side to immediately make sure Alec has control over the space but Alec, if anything, only looks more lost. "I actually don't know how to do this."

"That's fine too, I can help you," Magnus offers.

"What's your favourite drink?" Alec asks, giving Magnus a sidelong look.

"No, no, Alec," Magnus grins," No cheating, I want you to _make_ me a drink, not copy me one. Just put whatever you want in there, whatever you think I'd like."

   And so he watches Alec, maybe with some mild apprehension as he notes all the drinks he pulls down to add... but even that couldn't dim the sheer glee he feels at Alec wanting to try something, something _new_. Something for Magnus. Even if it does contain a million cherries.

  He lies when Alec asks him how it tastes.

"Delicious! Are you sure this is your first time mixing a drink Alec?"

 Alec's cautiously proud smile was worth a million of the stomach-churning sips he'd taken to drain that drink of all its refills.

***

They did start watching Casablanca.

They were on opposite ends of the sofa but Magnus could hardly feel the distance. Alec was a terrible person to watch a movie with if you wanted to just watch, he asked a million questions. He asked enough questions that he already knew the ending by the middle of it but Magnus had refused to share any of the final iconic lines.

_"You'll have to wait and see Alec."_

He asked a lot about what Magnus thought of the movie, if Magnus had ever met the actors, did he have to audition or was he just discovered even he got offered the part, did he like how the story ended?

_"Who do you think she should have been with? Blaine or Laszlo?" Alec had asked._

_"That's a question for the critics Alec." Magnus had replied._

Alec did get quiet near the end of the film. Magnus actually thought he'd get to hear the final lines in silence when, just as Bogart got to the airport, Alec's phone went off.

"It's Izzy," Alec said and Magnus pauses the movie immediately.

"Izzy?" Alec asks on the phone, Magnus watches as he sits up straighter, tighter, how he absentmindedly looks around the room at whatever she's saying, worry etched into his face. Magnus doesn't like where knows this is going.

Alec's P.O.V

"I thought you said you'd already arranged backup?"

"The very best," Izzy replied down the line and despite the situation he could tell she was trying to be light but she's breathless, Alec can tell. She's out of breath, fighting a stitch no doubt, and she sounds like she's trying to keep her volume low.

"What does that even mean Iz, who's coming?"

"I'm asking you, Alec."

"Me?"

He looks at Magnus for a beat.

"Yes, you."

"But I'm off missions right now, Magnus-" Alec cuts himself off. Magnus lays a hand on his knee and gives it a small squeeze to earn him Alec's undivided attention. He watches as Magnus' mouths "You should go."

"Magnus..." Alec repeats, shaking his head but Magnus only nods and says clearly this time.

"You should go."

"Alec?" He hears Izabelle ask down the phone and he can hear the grimace in her voice as she shuffles slightly across the line, she's wounded.

"Yeah I'm still here," He says, still looking at Magnus. He can't leave, they agreed that he wouldn't leave. No other missions. They'd compromised.

"I wouldn't ask for any other mission but this is a big one and it's all Shadowhunters on deck and Jace... you know he'll listen to orders better if you're here."

"Is Jace okay?"

"He's being... reckless," Izzy answers shortly, "Look, Alec, I don't have much time, there's forsaken here. More than we'd estimated and they're... different, I don't know how to tell you... You can bring Magnus. Maybe he's up to it, maybe he can get answers."

"No, no Izzy, we're not doing that," Alec shoots back firmly.

"Fine, that's fine," She relents, sounding tired and Alec knows she's saying whatever she can to get him to come, "I need you here Alec... I'll text you the coordinates. I know this is awful but... it would help me out."

She hangs up.

He looks at Magnus.

"I have to go."

"I know you do."

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"We said I wouldn't go on missions."

"We said you'd stay when I have clients. I have no clients. I'm not even using magic," Magnus replies, rational and calm, his hand still holding on to Alec's knee, "And I know you won't be settled until you know your sister and your parabatai are safe."

Alec rakes a hand through his hair, frustrated. Magnus' grip on his knee both helps and hinders him. He likes the comfort. But he doesn't want to lose it. But Magnus is right -  he'd never forgive himself if Izzy or Jace were injured on a mission he could have been at.

He stands up, effectively removing himself from Magnus' touch, pacing a few steps ahead just to be safe, "I'll go."

"Good."

"But you won't leave? You won't use any magic?"

"I won't."

Alec knows he's asking a lot, he's being horrible really, telling Magnus what to do with his magic, but he can't leave half of his mind back here in the loft with Magnus, wondering if he's safe. He needs to know that if he leaves he doesn't have to worry until he gets back.

"I'll go." He repeats.

***

Magnus' P.O.V

He doesn't like watching him go. Hates the sound of the door closing.  Hates the silence that now sits next to him while the frozen face of Humphrey Bogart staring back at him. He hates how empty he's reminded his loft has always been with just him to live in it, Chairman and Church notwithstanding. Was he really always this alone? Has a week of company been enough to cause such a stark contrast? The time means nothing, it was the company itself he supposes, that's shown him how different things could be.

It's been an hour. 

How long do missions last? He keeps looking at his phone, maybe Alec will text him, let him know he's coming back, that he hasn't _died_ horribly in some backwater warehouse somewhere that Valentine had infested and then left teaming with forsaken.

Did Shadowhunters let people know if they were safe? If they would be coming home. If they'd be late. Maybe for family. Maybe for loved ones. Magnus didn't think he counted under any category.

He should just finish the movie, it really only was the last few seconds. But those were the last few lines. The iconic lines he'd made Alec wait for.

Were these nerves? He felt on edge. Amped up. Impatiently pacing back from the sofa to the bar, not drinking, not sitting. He was rubbing his fingers together restlessly, should he maybe call Alec? But then what if he was still in the midst of battle and Magnus' call got him killed? He was fine, he could wait. 

He could have handled it until the blue wisp of magic flew from his fingers, rubbing together. The wisp was harmless and if this was a month ago he'd know it was just his restlessness manifesting in his magic, linked constantly to his emotions. It would have been nothing. But now wisps aren't nothing. He clenches his hands to fists, paces increasing. Why won't Alec just call? 

He feels the coil tightening in his chest, is this magic or is it nerves. He can't tell but either way, he might just blow up.

And then his phone rings.

He heart jumps up to his throat and magic blasts absently from his hands as he reaches for the phone, he doesn't even notice it.  It doesn't do anything anyway.

"Alec?" He asks breathless, not even checking the caller id. But the call gets shut off before another word can be said, he looks to his screen and sees Isabelle's name. Maybe he does belong to some kind of category that warrants a call.

He doesn't really think. He just makes the portal and walks right through it. It doesn't kill him, which is nice.

***

He walks into the leftovers of carnage. 

There's no more fighting to be seen really, a number of forsaken lay only half dead on the floor, somehow still fighting. The disappearing blast of his magic alerts a few to his presence but he ignores them entirely. He doesn't see any Shadowhunters but he hears them, maybe there is still some fighting to do.

He enters the main floor just as he sees Isabelle kill the next forsaken that lunges for her and the fallen figure by her knees. Magnus doesn't need another second to tell who it is and there's that breathlessness again.

He remembers in the dream. He remembers that when he was just about to blow, when his dream-self remembered Alec, he remembered how he yelled for him. How he'd screamed for Alexander. He felt like that now.

"Alexander," He breathes, brushing past non-descript Shadowhunters, shoving in past Isabelle on the floor by Alec's side. He doesn't know where to put his hand, it's all such a mess and he doesn't know where it wouldn't hurt. The only parts of Alec that don't look injured are his hands but Magnus is sure he can't hold onto those and still be expected to let them go again, not while Alec looks like this, "Alexander do you hear me?"

There's a slight noise of recognition but there isn't much to say more than that he isn't dead yet.

"What happened?" He demands, spinning to Isabelle.

She was babbling, listing off the events at high speed, remaining Shadowhunters either ignore them or finish of the remaining half living corpses of forsaken, "I don't know, he was doing so well, he arrived not long after the call and he was fine. He was fine, and then I don't know, the next time I saw him he was down on the ground and Jace was doubled over in pain and yelling for Alec to get up."

"Where is Jace?" Magnus demands again.

"Clary took him back to the Institute," Isabelle chokes, "He could hit trying to get Alec up and he was still in pain with whatever was going through the rune, I don't know. I said I would take Alec back and I tried to call you and phone cut off with bad reception but then more forsaken came through before I could call back and then-"

"Isabelle, Isabelle," Magnus insists, grabbing Isabelle's hand tightly. "It's alright, you did well. We'll get Alec back now."

"You go," She orders, "You take him back to the Institute."

"Alec would kill me if I left you here and you know it."

"He won't get to if you don't take him now."

It was hard to argue with it about that, she left as soon as he turned to look back to Alec. He could vaguely hear her barking orders to those that still remained but that wasn't his concern.

"Alexander," He whispered, lifting Alec's head up a little, blood coating his hand immediately, "Alexander," He repeats more firmly but still nothing. He doesn't know what he can do. He can't lift him, he can't even reach him, he's going to have to portal him.

"I know I promised no magic," He half chokes, "But I'm sure you'll give me this one exception."

He doesn't let himself think about it. If he thinks about it he'll remember all the reasons why this will kill them both. He just makes another portal.

***

Maryse Lightwood is screaming at him. She has been for the last half hour. He tuned her out after the first five.

He's covered in her son's blood so he supposes she does have _some_ right to be manic right now. 

They took Alec away from him as soon as he appeared in the hallway of the Insititute. They were furious he was able to portal right inside without prior experience. Maryse keeps asking him about it now actually. He has no answers for her. He just made the portal. Wherever it took them in the Institute wasn't his problem, he just needed to be at the Institute.

He had been barred from entering the medical bay with Alec. That was until Isabelle Lightwood turned up, covered in blood and dirt, interrupting her mother to let them know that now both Jace and Alec were awake. Magnus very nearly still wasn't permitted to go but then Isabelle had said that Alec was asking for him personally and blocked Maryse from moving past Magnus, making sure he got to him first.

Magnus hated the Insititute. He hated that Clary had to force the guards by Alec's bay to let him past and allow him to close the curtains around Alec's bed to give them even an ounce of privacy.

"Alec," He whispers, sitting as close to his bedside as possible.

Alec blinked up at him. He looked like hell warmed over. He had no colour to speak of at all, so white that the bandages almost molded into his skin. The bandages in question already looked like they were ready to bleed out. He had various cuts and bruises all over his arms and face that the medics hadn't thought to cover or heal. Magnus' own hands itched to clear them away with his own magic but he was almost positive that if he so much as lay a finger on Alec's bedsheets he'd be executed on the spot.

"Hey," He mutters and it looks like he's trying to smile, "I guess we're going back to the no more missions thing right?"

Magnus only laughs because he's so caught off guard and because Alec smiles more when he does.

"I don't know who your mother wants to kill more, you, me or Valentine."

"Oh definitely you," Alec grins.

Magnus sobers a little, just by looking at Alec, who seems to catch on to the change in tone and drops his smile too, "How do you feel? Really."

Alec sighs, looking down over his own body at his various wounds, "I guess I feel the same way I look."

"So terrible then?" Magnus asks and Alec immediate laugh turns into a sharp hiss of pain and Magnus loses all humour, surveying all his leftover wounds and so-called healing with distaste.

"Is this really all they can do?"

"It's all they need to do so yeah, I guess," Alec shrugs, wincing even at that, and Magnus purses his lips.

   Maryse Lightwood chooses this precise moment to fling the curtains open and stalk inside, hands on hips, and positively fuming, behind her trails in an exhausted Isabelle, and a limping Jace being held up by Clary.

"What the hell were you thinking, Alexander!" She demands.

"Excuse me," Magnus retorts in equal levels of anger, standing up by Alec's bed.

"I think you've done quite enough for one day Bane," Maryse dismiss', "This is between me and my son."

"And you don't perhaps think that maybe, just maybe, whatever mad tirade you've decided to set on your son couldn't wait until he's properly recovered?!" Magnus snaps back, not prepared to let this one go.

"I do not need to take this level of disrespect in my own Institute, especially not from you Bane!"

"Magnus," Alec mutters, reaching up to pull at Magnus' jacket sleeve, the one soaked and dried in Alec's own blood, so, no. Magnus isn't going to calm down. He stays standing, looking Maryse Lightwood dead in the end.

"Alec has been sufficiently healed and he knows his duty and he knows what is expected of him. I know that duty and responsibility are foreign concepts to the likes of you-"

"Mum!" Isabelle yells, moving forward to stand between Maryse and Magnus. She looks positively affronted, turning to shoot a quick deeply apologetic look Magnus' way before turning back to her mother. "This can surely all wait one more day."

Maryse Lightwood stifles a little under her daughter's sudden outburst, to be quite honest Magnus was a little shocked as well.

"Very well," Maryse relents, "But Alec stays here, under further medical observation."

"That won't be necessary," Magnus says, "I'll be taking Alec back to the loft where he will receive a more thorough healing."

"I wouldn't imagine your quite up to that at the present," Maryse retorts and Magnus holds back a withering smile.

"Maybe not, but if that's the case I can also give Catarina Loss a call."

   It's not until Maryse leaves that Magnus realises that Alec still has a clamp down on the end of his sleeve, so tight that his knuckles are turning white.

"Alec," He murmurs, reaching over to ease his hand away, but doesn't lessen his hold to let Alec tear his hand away so soon. "You're alright with coming back to the loft aren't you?"

Alec nods minutely before looking to his sister and parabatai, who still leans against Clary.

"You alright?"

"Better than you by the looks of things," Jace remarks, wincing at the pinch it earns him from an innocent looking Clary.

"We're fine Alec," Isabelle soothes, "You need to take things easy though. I'm sorry for asking you to come in the first place."

"Don't do that Iz, it wasn't your fault," Alec argues gently, holding his sister's hand for just a moment.

"You should go," She whispers, smiling first to her brother, and then to Magnus.

***

Alec's P.O.V

"I thought you said you were going to call Cat," Alec observes and Magnus has him lay on the bed.

"That was just to get your mother to let you leave," Magnus dismiss' before stalling, "You don't mind me healing you do?"

Alec thinks about how sporadic and chancy Magnus' magic can best at the best of times, how it not working completely is the best case scenario, and it killing him is the worst. Alec thinks about how nervous Magnus looks now, waiting for Alec to decide. To decide now, not on if he trusts Magnus' magic, but if he trusts Magnus. Alec thinks about how Magnus had ran to him, how he'd said his name. Alec had heard him, had heard everything. 

"I don't mind."

"Okay," Magnus nods, then clicks his fingers.

Blue magic glows around Magnus' hand like smoke, wisps that, due maybe to Alec's exhaustion from the fight and the wounds, hardly looked real and tangible, if Alec wasn't there to see and feel it. The magic sweeps along his wounds like a caress and the smoke sinks into his skin, dancing along the open cuts before disappearing. The bandages are blown away before Alec can even register their absence. 

Alec watches with acute fascination as Magnus' magic removes all sign of any cuts and bruises the Institute hadn't thought to clear him off. The larger scars, all open tissue, gaping holes, still with the threat of reopening even after the Institute, he watched as Magnus left them looking a week old.

Even after all the wounds are closed and healed Magnus doesn't turn the magic off, doesn't take it away, or whatever he does with his magic. Alec doesn't even bother getting worried that maybe it was too much for him like he's going to blow. Magnus just looks quiet. He looks like he's thinking.

"Are you alright?" He asks at last and the magic disappears as soon as Magnus looks at him.

"If _I'm_ alright? I've just healed your _multiple_ stab wounds and you ask if _I'm_ alright?"

Alec just shrugs and watches a smile tug at Magnus' lips.

"You really are something else aren't you Alec Lightwood?" Magnus smiles.

Alec smiles too but he hesitates before he says what he wants to say, "You... you can call me Alexander. Just, if you wanted to."

"I thought you didn't like it?" Magnus asks slowly, confused, and Alec tries not to look overly sheepish.

"Yeah but, well you used it before. When you found me. And... it's fine. I don't mind. If you use it."

Magnus smiles again and Alec supposes that means he didn't look like too much of an idiot - asking someone to call you by your full name, what does Magnus even think of him. Which is stupid of him to wonder, it does him no good, Magnus doesn't think of him. Not like that.

"Alright," Magnus breathes, "Alexander."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked the chapter and as always look forward to your thoughts in the comments below!
> 
> As for an explanation for as to why it's taken me so long to update - University (I actually avoided doing a History assignment by writing this chapter instead).   
> It's taken me a while to settle in and feel at home enough to write again and get into the right kind of headspace and make enough time for everything. 
> 
> ALSO I've set up a Ko-Fi account - ko-fi.com/stringasentence  
> (although obviously, no one should feel they have to give anything!)


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